Ms Court

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I am on a role. Spent yesterday afternoon researching and ordering samples of different kinds of protein so that I have a bunch to test and decide what works for me. Worked on my "homework" from the nutritionist. Now I need to get my vitamins and I will be set. :)

Okay so last week was a little bit tough for me. I know in my heart my ex-boyfriend and I made the right decision for both of us but it is so hard being alone. I know I will make it through. I am strong and I have great family and friends. I finished up my pre op testing last week. All I have to do now is meet one on one with the dietician and my preop appointment with the Dr. It is getting so close. I only have a few more things to do to get ready. :)

Well after many long weeks of struggling, my boyfriend and I ended our relationship last night. Things were just not working out between us. I am really hurting right now. He was for the most part a really great guy, there were just some things that didn't work between us. I think I made the right decision but I know things are going to be hard. :)

Happy Halloween! I dressed up as a biker chick today. Got my Harley boots on, jeans, patriotic t shirt and my doo rag. Had a decent weekend. Spent some time experimenting with splenda and my cooking. Just relaxed. :)

October 24, 2005
Still counting down the days. Getting really excited and nervous. So much is going on with the holidays coming and getting ready for surgery and my birthday too. I have been going through my drawers and closets and sorting through my clothes. My mom and sister went through the things I am ready to give up and picked up what they wanted. My really good friend who had surgery in March (Sandy you are the best) has been giving me things as she shrinks out of them so I have stacks of different sizes to shrink into. Everyone keeps talking about getting me gift certificates for Christmas. :)

Well things have been ticking along. I am getting ready for surgery. starting to get some of my supplies in order and such. I am getting excited and nervous. Only 5 1/2 weeks to go. Everyone around me is asking questions and learning right along with me. It is great. :)

October 17, 2005
Well I had a relatively nice weekend. Did some early Christmas shopping so that I have a head start because of surgery. Found out that my brothers ex girlfriend had a baby (we knew she was pregnant), it is believed to be my brothers child so until proven otherwise we have a new baby in the family. Cody Lee, born October 4th weighing in at 6 lbs 4 oz makes baby #9. My bf finally heard from the doctor. All of his blood work came back looking great. They want to refer him to a Rhuematologist (sp) but at least it doesn't appear to be cancer. Things have been really rough today with him. I understand he is stressed out and mad because although he got some answers he still doesn't know exactly what is going on, so he is taking it out on me. I am at a loss for what to do anymore with the issues between us. I have tried talking to him multiple times in the last six months and he seems to listen and hear me and responds in a correct manner but there isn't any follow through and I just keep getting more and more miserable. One of these days I am just going to snap. :)

So of course things got more complicated in my personal life. My bf is now having some health issues. We are waiting for test results because it could be something relatively simple or it could be as serious as cancer. All of this coming at the 1 year anniversary of his brother's death (from the same kind of cancer) this is making it really rough right now and because of the focus on this the other issues are taking the back burner again. This on top of the things I am going through with surgery and the things he and I are going through in our relationship are making things so hard. :)

Well time is ticking by as I wait for everything to happen. Took some time over the weekend to evaluate my life. I am having some issues with my boyfriend of 1 1/2 years. Not exactly surgery related other than the fact that the surgery and changes it brings are making me evaluate all aspects of my life and see what needs to be fixed. I am not sure if I want to stay in this relationship. There is a lot of baggage on his side (more so than most relationships) and from the begining we talked about solutions to the problems and have been trying to work on them. These are issues that I can't fix for him and there hasn't been a lot done to work on the issues other than some half hearted attempts. Every time I turn around there is always another situation popping up that has to be taken care of. We sat and talked for awhile about how I am feeling, discussed some things we can do to make things happen. Now we will have to see what happens. :)