ace30927
Still blogging forward
Aug 07, 2012
Ok, so it's time to continue my journey as provoked by a great friend. I guess I tend to get lost in my own world and don't manage to put things down. Today I am at 7 weeks of post surgery time. I am down 60lbs and moving forward everyday. It's amazing in the life of a larger person the things you adjust too and don't realize what is considered "not normal" in today's society. Last week I had an experience that made me feel inadequate. I went to a demolition derby at the fair and the seats were extremely small. I found it to be an embarrassing situation as I knew I overflowed into the other persons seat. I kept looking at my boyfriend and stating how embarrassing this was- at this point I was down 54lbs and had been feeling really good about myself. I have never been the girl who was embarrassed by her weight, just dealt with it because it was there. He looked at me and said- you have come 54lbs further than you were. Don't let this set you back. I realized that it was true, however the next couple of days I found myself looking to "veggie straws" for support. "They were healthy"-right- no wrong. On day two with the veggie straws in the house I looked at the bag and dumped them in the garbage, with the statement they aren't allowed back in. I realized that one two hour event took two days for me to realize what was going on- I am now understanding that even though I never thought that I was "that" person who turned to food- I actually am. This journey is proven to be one that is well worth it, I just am learning more and more about myself than I have at any other time. I am a fortunate girl- one with a signifigant other who supports my choices, and helps when I am down- This past Saturday he "demanded" that I go pull his miata around to the side of the house so he could change the oil- I refused stating that "I couldn't fit" he stated to me go get it and if you don't fit, come back and let me know. With high anxiety I walked out front to get the car, looked at it with my head hung low and proceeded to expect what I expected. In turn I didn't get that at all. I fit- I really fit in such a small car behind the steering wheel. When I came pulling up to the garage I think the smile on my face was bigger than anything. He walks out and I said how did you know and I didn't- His response was because I did. This journey by no means has been easy, and heck I am only 7 weeks out- but I do know this if I had to chose this again, I by far would have done it years earlier.I have learned that no matter how bad things get, there is always another day and another way to do things. Stay positive and positivity comes home....Until we meet again-
Edge
