amylou823

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Today is officially my three week mark.

I am back to work and have some noticeable progress!

I am fitting easily into a 22W, I was a 26W, I can walk 6 miles a day and not feel as if I am going to collapse after a mile. My head hunger is under better control. I don't even blink when I pass a fast food joint any more. I have learned small meals rather then a 3 sit down meals are okay and work better. I sleep better also! I was able to sleep on my back and it felt great, so good in fact I found myself smiling when I realized I was comfortable. My energy levels have skyrocketed, I can do more then one thing during the course of a day and not be worn out from it later. 

My diet is now advanced to soft foods for the next 4 weeks and it has helped TREMENDOUSLY in getting in my required protein as I can now have fish and chicken. I am getting to sit and eat the some of the same foods as my family now so that helps too. Tonight I am making chicken and dumplings with green peas. I get to eat the chicken and peas...no dumplings yet. 

The family is doing great with the diet changes as well, my daughter is loosing her little pot belly and my son is willing to try more foods now that he knows we are not going to be having macaroni or chicken nuggets every other night. My husband is trying to eat better as well and he is getting easily frustrated with the slow progress on the scale. I'm trying to get him to move more with me but this heat is horrible right now and isn't helping much to motivate him. We have been biking, he really enjoys that and so do the kids. 

So my navel site ITCHES real bad, I was looking at it and I think I see a stitch sticking out!!!. WTF?? I am going to leave it alone until my follow up unless it becomes an issue, I don't dare pull or cut it this soon after my procedure. The last thing I need is a open site to slow me down.

I posted pics for  3 week post op

I have lost a total of 34 pounds from my highest weight and about 20 from the surgical date. I am trying not to focus on the pounds and looking rather at the percentage overall but its hard when you have over 100 pounds to drop. BUT A LOSS IS A LOSS!!! And my lifestyle is changing for the better. 

woo hoo!!!

Loving life right now. 

Amy~

Had my first post op appointment with the NP today. Everything went great! My surgical sites are closed and healing nicely, I don't have any complications (other then a solved mystery rash) and I am doing good for my weight loss so far. 

I am still struggling with meeting my minimum caloric intake as well as fluids and protein. I have not hit my goal at all any day post op on all of them. My calories run about 400-500 a day, my protein ranges anywhere from 15-50 nad my fluids are just bad, bad, bad. I progressed to pureed foods today (YAY TUNA!) so I think that will help and I have decided to try to drink the Isopures without the poweraide zero. My awesome dietician gave me some flavorless powder to put in soups to try as well. 

Amy~

Thing I have learned this week

1. My stomach is much higher then I thought.

2. I was not as heavy as I made myself feel I was.

3. My family is my motivation.

4. Exercise is better, but still SUCKS. 

 

1. The sounds are so high up I thought I was having reflux. As a nurse I knew my anatomy but was still surprised it was where it is.  

2. On my floor were other people who have had similar or the same operation as me. All of them were much larger then myself and a few had other issues such as dialysis, hypertension or sleep apnea. I had none nothing and take no other medications. I knew I was in o shape but now I realize how fortunate I am. 

3. All I wanted to do was see my kids and my husband. He was by my side the whole time holding my hand, pushing me to walk no matter how slow the first day. Every time he came in he would ask  the same 3 questions, Did you do your breathing exercises? Did you walk? Did you sleep?, got to love nurture nagging. 

4. I walk every day, yesterday I did 4 miles. It wore me out but I didn't have the nagging pain of death in my side or the impossible ability to catch my breath. In hindsight I guess liked it. 

 

One full week out and I am already over the hill with progress. I can fit back into clothes that were too small last summer and my energy levels are twice what they were 3 months ago. My current weight is 254.5! I have not weighed that since my son was born and he is now 4. So excited to see what lies ahead!

I am still sipping on my clear liquids but will challenge myself to a full liquid strained cream of mushroom soup for lunch. (phase 2).  I tried some chocolate pudding, sugar free, and couldn't get 1/4 of it in. Too many bubbles from Bertha. Yep, I named my stomach (lol). Her official title is Bertha the snarling beast. I have had so many rumbles and grumbles I sound as if I have a bear tucked under my shirt so it seemed appropriate.

 I also found that even though I am changing habits, the addiction is still there. I cook for my family and the food looks AMAZING! I drool at the smell, dream about the taste and even found I crave the texture. Essentially cooking has become anew way to 'get access' to the food if that makes any sense.  

We took the kids to a local festival and all I could think was how excited I would be to eat a hamburger or hot dog again with fries and tons of cheese and a big diet coke. Then I realized I can't have any of that! The calories, quantity, starches, fat, carbonation, sugars, are all thing I need to avoid for the rest of my life. I got sad, then angry, then in a flash reminded myself why I did this. I need to keep telling myself it is only food, it can't make me happy, seeing my kids grow up and living to be old with my husband will.  I felt like a dry alcoholic at a bar on St. Patrick day. 

I don't miss or need that stuff enough to take time away from me with my family. 

Amy

 

I have been home for 2 days and I am doing great! The stomach is a bit more swollen then I would like but it is very tolerable. The pain is no issue, just more of a discomfort that nags me if I turn the wrong way here or there. I am already amazed by how much 'smaller' my profile is and I'm looking forward to all the upcoming progress. 

Only 3 surgical sites so that is exciting, less healing time I hope. 

 

Amy~

 

 

I think I need to get a new scale, I know I didn't drop 3 pounds in 10 hours. 

Ok so not only did I not loose this week but I went up 2 pounds. 

I am not surprised at all.  I totally ditched the diet this past week and did whatever I wanted. I think it was the  idea of not being able or willing to eat that kind of food again. 

The pre-op appointment went great. I didn't think I needed to be there for three hours but i did. It was not because the testing is so time consuming, it is because I had to go through all the history questions with the RN, then the same questions with the NP and yet again with the same questions from the anesthesia MD.  All positive negatives and I was even told "your not that big". Gee thanks doc! 

So we are a green light for Monday! 7 little days and if you count the time (hell yes I am) it is only 6. I am having second thoughts but they are fleeting. Most are about any possible complications during and after the procedure rather then if I want to do it or not. I am just nervous, other then my kids I have never had such a big procedure and have all the parts I came with. Not sure what to think about 80% of an organ being gone BUT I know I need it. Besides I can get over it while I play with my kids rather then watch them!

 

Amy~

 

Ok. So I am down but I cheated more this past week then EVER. I had a cracker here, a little piece of chocolate over there and at one point even ended up in a fast food driveway....okay more like 4 times...and if you count the morning Panera bread visits i do not known how the hell I lost anything at all.  Oh and my coworker introduced me to Tim Horton's iced mocha cappuccinos yesterday...wow. 

So I restart now.

I woke up (worked nights last night) and made a turkey sand which and grabbed some gummy worms (wth)...I was sitting down mid chew when I stopped and said to myself  "CRAP I am supposed to be on liquids only" ...okay try try again. 

I threw away the gummy worms. They were gross anyway. 

When I am not cheating like a Texas whore, I got a good routine going that I can live with. I like something warm to sip like broth or a the cream of 'fill in the blank' soup when I get up. After that I sip water all day and drink a isopure protein drink cut in half with a flavored power aide at mealtime. I find that makes the drink thin, no grit and i have minimal after taste. At this point the simple thought of a milk based protein shake makes me gag. If I feel deprived I will eat a light high protein meal with the family at dinner. If we go out I resign myself to the salad menu or a non fried seafood dish if nothing green looks appealing.

So that is my naughty tattle for the week.  I am back on track, next week wont be as exciting. 

Amy~

 

I have my date!!!!!!!!!!!!!

June 24th 2013. 

I started this journey almost a year ago and I am excited to reach the point where it falls to me to succeed. I am ready.

I gradually made changes to mentally divorce myself from food and it helped. No pop, then snacking on shakes instead of fast food and then to allowing myself protein drinks to supplement breakfast and lunch. It was hard but if I ate something off diet I didn't beat myself up over it. I noticed a change in the portions I could handle and I learned the difference between thirsty vs hungry. Today I start my clear liquid ONLY diet to shrink the size of my liver preoperatively. I have also told a few close friends and my extended family as well. Everyone is so supportive and I am so blessed to have them beside me for this. 

Amy

 

 Hello my friends!
 
So after deciding and accepting that I this is all up to me..as it should be...I have calm down a bit. 

I have drank the last of the soda, gobbled down he remainder of the spinach dip and avoided the chocolate pudding until it was safely packed away in some one else lunch. We never had much in the house in terms of cookies cakes or chips...no ice cream or candy either. We ate out alot...A LOT. 

no more. 


Starting small, this is something I screwed up over a long period of time so it's going to take time to correct it. 
I am taking in smaller portions and chewing my food. That was so hard and I am still trying to teach myself to eat normally.  We are eating at the table, ALL of our meals. Water, water, water..so much water. If my brain tells me eat..I go drink water, and so far my body has been thirsty, not hungry. I did have this really odd sensation late last night...it was kinda like a upset stomach but without the nausea...then my stomach growled!!! I was HUNGRY!!!!  It has been so long since I experienced physical hunger I forgot what it felt like!!! How awful!

Picked up the physical activity as well. taken the kids and puppy out for a walk for the past three evenings. They love walking our dog and she doesn't mind the out tings either. I want to run...poo i got a itch to run. I can't take the kids running with me but I do enjoy the walks.

So I return to the surgeons September 11th. What a day to go. It's a Tuesday also. I am going to ask if the 6 months is a rolling time frame. My thought is that if I can maintain/loose wonderful. However if I gain and it escalates to a 40% BMI again it may be past a 6 month mark. So Lets say I start in January, come June (6 months) I have lost 30 pounds and fallen below my 40%, I start gaining weight in September....I continue to gain and then come the following march, I am back up to 275.  So if they look at the time period of October to march, those are my 6 months required for insurance documentation. 

I hope it does not come to that. IDEA LY I do this the right way and keep it up long term. 

Fingers crossed.  Need more water. 

Amy 

 So had my first consult today. Got some good news and some bad news.

Good news: My BMI is 40. that qualifies me for the VSG.
Bad news: My insurance requires I diet for 6 months prior.

If my BMI falls below 40...i don't qualify for the surgery. 

Yep...

So here is my frustration. I know I will loose weight when I diet...always have. The issues is that I stall out. I gain back my weight...eventually. It may be beyond the 6 month mark.  The scenario I am worried about is I loose the weight (WONDERFUL that is after all what I want...) but not the amount i need ..lets be REAL optimistic and say 30 pounds in 6 months. I now weigh 245...!!!245!!!  that is still considered MORBIDLY OBESE. That puts my BMI under 40 and because I am doing this BEFORE i develop heart disease or hypertension,  I no longer qualify for this surgery.

OK . fast forward a additional 6 months. Weight is back. I may not be at 275 yet but I am no longer loosing or maintain. Worse yet..a year from that..I am now not only morbidly obese STILL  but I now have developed type two diabetes. 


I know I need help...I know what to eat..I know how to eat..I just can not get rid of this unending hunger that screws me up every time. 

Who would ever think someone would be upset that they were not heavy/sick enough??
How ungrateful am I for that...I feel so self centered. 


ON THE PLUS SIDE

I am making myself look at the positive side of this. 
I do not have to pay $4,500 out of pocket if I do this myself.
IT IS a lifestyle change not just a short term food intake change. 
No stress of surgery and the risk that come with it.
Satisfaction that I am capable of change without drastic intervention. 

I plan on doing this exercise and dietary documentation that I need. If I skip a month I have to start over. I do not want to just skate by because this needs to be a lifestyle change for me and MY FAMILY. 

So I swear I will try as hard as I can to accomplish this. If I loose weight and stay below 40% I will see it a positive thing that I can maintain a healthy lifestyle. 


God...I want a cheeseburger.
Amy