bamababs1

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My surgery was yesterday.  We some bad weather sweep across Alabama and honestly I was more worried about traveling through storms than I was the surgery.  (I dont like driving or riding in bad weather...makes me a nervous wreck!!)  The surgery was over before I knew it and with in a short time I was allowed to go home.  We left just in time to make it home before it got really bad.  Thank God.  I would recommend Dr. Stahl and Shelby Baptist to any one thinking of having this surgery.  Everyone I came in contact with throughout this process was upbeat and positive.  And everyone took very good care of me.  Always asking about my comfort and needs.  I cant imagine having better care anywhere else.  They were wonderful.

I have been paying more attention to me lately.  Trying to figure out how I got to this point and where I want to go from here.  I stay very busy.  I volunteer for everything.  I sub at my daughters school.  I am president of the parent committee and policy council.  I write the parent newsletters etc. I have my kids involved in every sport/ activity our church and town have to offer, and when I have a few minutes to spare I am remodeling the house and restoring furniture.  Why do I do this...sometimes I take on more than I really should and feel anxious about accomplishing it all within a time frame.  I recently admitted to myself what the drive is behind all of this..  I am deathly afraid that if I stay at home ...if I sit too long....lay in bed too long...I will never get back up.  I see myself trapped in bed and depending on everyone to take care of me.   I dont know what is more frightening to me ...the idea of getting that big or the idea that I would be dependant on someone else.  I take care of everyone....the idea of others taking care of me ...terrorfies me.  I hope that once I have this surgery and the healing begins I can let go and bury this fear forever.