Just a bundle of emotions

Jan 11, 2009

i am now a little more than a month from my thyroidectomy (it's scheduled for 2/24).  i'm not nervous because it doesn't really seem real and i've got another big event to get through before i get to that surgery (my husband is leaving for india for almost 3 weeks at the end of january and i will be ALL ALONE with 3 boys).  we're also contemplating a move to another country within a year, so lots to think about right now.

something about sundays always draws me to this board.  i've got to be honest and fess up to having mixed emotions about the successes of others on the board, especially those who got the surgery right around the same time or after.  i am really happy for them, but also a little jealous.  that could have been me!  that should have been me!  i often wonder what my life would be like right now if the surgery had happened as planned.  i wouldn't have bought a bunch of clothes at avenue, that's for sure !  i guess having mixed emotions is just part of being human.

i know God's hand is in this, but it still hard.  after my aborted vsg and while i was going through all the testing, i said i would never go back to have vsg.  after reading about others on this board, i'm back to wanting to have it.  also having my husband tell me how he wants to get it done too spurs my desire.  i don't know how long it will take to recover from the thyroidectomy or how long before i could possibly have vsg.  i feel the lesson God keeps having to teach me over and over is patience and this is yet another lesson. 

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