cintigirl

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I got a fill about two weeks ago and have suddenly noticed it has kicked in.  My intake has decreased significantly and my exercise has increased as well.  I pray it is not too  late to grt some use out of this band. 

In six months I have gained 50 pounds. I got a fill last week and am starting anew.  I don't know how this got so out of control.  Yes I do.  I went back to work and stopped exercising. 

My how things can change so quickly.  Retirement is over and I am back to work.  I have been truly blessed and was able to find a job that pays well.  The really good news is that   I have not gained any weight.  I have been floating around the same six pounds for almost a year now.  I would still like to lose another 30 pounds. Went shopping today for clothes for work.  It reminded me that the prettier clothes come in smaller sizes.  I will get there.

I haven't had a fill in six months.  In December I made an appointment with a new Doc .  I went in for my appointment today only to be told that he needed to do my fill under flouro, which he does not have in his office.  Instead I need to make another appointment at the radiologist so he could check and make sure my band was okay before he gave me a fill.  Why wasn't this original appointment made at the radiologist.  If they knew I couldn't get a fill without going to the radiologist, what was the point of scheduling me to come into the office today.  MONEY.  I so miss Dr. Curry.  I was self-pay and didn't have to pay for any fills for two years.  Now with a new Doc, I not only have to pay co pays but also have to pay 20 percent of procedures that are not done in the office.  In addition, his bedside manner was a little off putting.  He as much as informed me that there are only two bariatric offices in town and neither of them has a flouro in-office.  Therefore, I am going to have to pay before any Doc in town will give me a fill.  I almost felt like he was calling me non-compliant without really talking to me.  He didn't ask me how much food I ate at each meal.  Instead he asked how much of a hamburger could I eat.  I informed him that I don't eat hamburgers, so I don't know.  I told him I am eating about a cup of food at each sitting.  The good news is the nursing staff were great.

I just had a conversation with my ex husband that brought me to tears.    We have been divorced for four years.  Divorced physically, but maybe not totally emotionally.  He cheated, once, twice, three times.  Enough.  I think guilt kept him reliable enough to be a better ex husband than husband.  Recently, I met someone.  Nothing serious.  More physical than ...  No that is bull shit. But that is what I told my ex.    I have not fully evaluated the situation because new boyfriend  knows nothing about me weighing 271 pounds.  All he knows is me now.  Granted, I am 5'81/2 " so I still don't look as heavy as I am.  I am also very active NOW.  I am not comfortable enough to tell either ex husband or new  boyfriend the truth about everything.  I should be really furious with my ex husband.  But I have gotten over that.  I love the fact that new boyfriend doesn't know my issues.  He has made several comments about appreciating Real women.  I am skeptical.  Woe is me.

OK, I know things have been going well in my life.  But damn.  Who did I piss off this month. My uncle Dan in GA died.   My savings are running low.  I have not been able to find a job.  I set my house on fire.  The water line from the ice maker ruptured and flooded the kitchen. My gas tank for the house ran out in ten days.  Ten frickin days.   I got really sick yesterday and almost called the squad.  Then today, while I was still nursing myself back to health, I get a call that my uncle Johnnie collapsed and was in the hospital.   What the hell.  My weight has been bouncing around the same five pounds for a while now.  I did make an appointment with a new doc for a fill.  I am really going to miss Dr. Curry, but I can't fly back to OH for a fill.  I am not looking forward to Xmas this year.  That is a first.  I'm gonna shake myself off, because I am sure I am just in between blessings.

Yep, I set my house on fire today.  I was trying to fry some okra.   When I realized I had not eaten all day I went to the freezer.  Not the healthest choice, but I decided to fry okra.  I got distracted and set my damn house on fire.  Nice kitchen fire which is gonna cost me some bucks.  I don't ever want to see oil again.  It's 9 PM and I just got out of the shower, the cinged hair smell is gone.  Damn, I still have not eaten anything today.  Nothing.  Not on purpose.  I guess you can get full when you are stressed out.  Hell, at least I didn't set my hair on fire.

This band is fricking amazing.  Just when I think I have stalled, I get on the scale and have loss three pounds.  I must say that the stress of the holidays definitely caused my band to tighten.  I have not had a fill since June 30, 2010, but I am still full rather quickly and can get stuck on chicken or dense proteins.  I haven't loss any additional weight, but I wasn't exactly eating the way I should have.  I had actually regained seventeen pounds over the summer.  I have managed to lose twelve of those pounds in the last month.  It is very hard to stay on track during this holiday season, but here goes.

I have been filling out job applications the past two weeks.  So far no phone calls.  I need a job.  I would love to appear confident during any interviews.  I have no doubt that I am going to get a job and a good job at that.  

I cooked diner for forty people (all by myself), and did not even fix an official plate for diner.  My menu included turkey and dressing with gravy, sweet potatoes, ham, collard greens, green beans, roasted potatoes, mac and cheese, crab stuffed mushrooms, seafood gumbo, shrimp and grits, glazed carrots, fried corn, quiche, coconut cake, pineapple cake, sweet potato pie, chocolate cheesecake and pumpkin cheesecake.  On turkey day I only ate one stuffed mushroom,  and a little of the gumbo.  Today, I actually made a plate that consisted of a small piece of turkey with some dressing and gravy.  It wasn't a half cup of food and I couldn't eat it all.  I wasn't hungry and when I did eat, there just wasn't any room.  I love my band.  There were years that I cooked this menu and would have eaten at least two plates of food before going to bed and would have gotten up and gorged again today.  Just not feeling it.  I'm loving the way I am looking and feeling and will not sabotage myself.

There has been a lot going on in my life over the past four years.  I got divorced, got sick,  got fat ,had surgery, retired and moved from Ohio to NC.  I had only  been on one date since the divorce in 2006.  I really hadn't thought much about it because I didn't want to see me naked, why would anyone else.  Well that has changed now.  I know I still have a bit of weight to lose before I hit my goal, but already I feel pretty.  I have noticed that I started putting makeup on and putting on pants instead of those dreaded sweat pants all the time.  I am nearly one year out from surgery and I would definitely do it again.  I am forty pounds from my first goal and fifty-five from my final goal.  I eat better.  I exercise more and have a better overall outlook on life.    I love my band.  Oh yeah, I have a lunch and movie date today.  Who would of thunk it.