cintigirl

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I made it to onederland on April 22, 2010.  I stepped on the scale and 199.5 flashed across the screen.  I am so happy.  For the first time since my wls, I was having a problem craving sweets.  I did give in to some temptation and was surprised to see the scale move so quickly anyway.  I guess my last fill really kicked in cause the weight is coming off now.  I am going home Memorial Day weekend for a family reunion.  I am actually excited about it.  I haven't seen any of my family since three weeks after my surgery.  They are going to be in for a shock.  I have lost 71 pounds in just over five months.  Wow.

Last night I couldn't sleep and decided to try on some pants to see how close I was to fitting them.  Shocker, I wore those size 14 pants today and they were very loose.  At three in the morning I was trying on everything in my closet.  Clothes fit that I didn't expect to get into until the summer.  Oh... and I looked damn good.  I love my band.  

I just had a fill last week and boy did the scale jump.  I can really tell a difference.  Today I weighed 205 pounds.  I could be under 200 pounds soon.  I have been crazy busy working on my house to get it ready for the market.  I usually am working a good ten hours a day painting, planting, cleaning and packing.  I guess exercise is exercise.  I am rarely hungry and have to remind myself to eat.  I'm still having sugar cravings (like ice cream and cookies).  Trying to figure that one out.   My body looks so different and I have tons of energy.  I love my band.

I have lost my mind lately.  My chief gave me a bag of Mounds candy bars with dark chocolate.  I tried to give them away, but ended up eating some.  Damn it.  Then those evil girl scout cookies were left on my desk.  I even ordered the ones my ex-husband likes, so I could give them to him.  Unfortunately, I ate a few.  It was just a rough week all around.  I made some really good choices this week also.  The good news is I haven't gained weight, I've lost two pounds.  But I am terrified that the scale is going to catch up with me.    I joined the Easter challenge, so I will stay on track.  I think I got a little too cocky and started acting like I have it all figured out.  I don't.  I am learning as I go.

I retired Friday.  I can now totally focus on getting the house ready to go on the market.  I went to the casino to celebrate and won $800.  I will use it to pay for labor on some of the projects in the house that I was planning to do myself.  A little less sweat equity!  I am excited and terrified at the same time.  I am truly starting the second phase of my life.

I spent valentine's day home alone, trying to lay a floating floor in my family room.  This is the first VD in a long time that I was alone and absolutely OK with it.  Friday is my last day at my job of more than 20 years.  I'm having some anxiety over it.  I know God has led me in this direction, and I will follow his call.  So in 2010 I will retire, renovate and relocate.  My house is a reno nightmare and I have been very busy.  So busy that I have had to remind myself to eat.  The scale stayed at 220 this week and I'm good with that.  I have lost 51 pounds in three months.  No issues to speak of.  I have so much more energy.  Well not today, my quads, back and calves are killing me from putting in flooring yesterday.  Today I caught myself putting on my panties and had to giggle.  Not so very long ago, I had to lay my panties on the floor and step into them.  Its amazing what miracles we take for granted.  Like my house, I am truly a work in progress.  I don't know exactly where I am going to be moving.  I believe that to will come to me.   I just pray that its some place warm.    

Wow.  I am 50 lbs down since this journey started.  I have never lost 50 lbs in my life.  This has not been that difficult.  I've been pretty good with the eating and working out.  I love OH.  I log in at least once daily.  I t helps remind me that I am not alone and this band does work.
Today, I actually felt lighter.  I was walking to my car today and just felt lighter.  I love feeling my clothes so lose on me.  I can almost see some of the old Darlene coming through.
Today I did some soul searching as to how I got 120 pounds over weight and what I had to do to finish losing this weight.  I have not had any alcohol since November 1, 2009.  I have never admitted it, even to myself, but I had (have)a drinking problem.  I drank to often and too much.  I was depressed and didn't want to go out with friends, so I drank alone at home.  I'm sure it contributed to my issues with depression.  I was depressed so I drank.  I was fat so I was depressed.  Just a vicious cycle.  I will have to deal with my lack of control in dealing with alcohol, food, my children, and my ex-husbands.  I can't make excuses any more.  I am taking responsibility for all my short comings.     

I had a fantabolous week this week and it did not involve the scale.  AS a matter of fact the scale didn't move this week.  It stayed at 229.  But I can feel and see the difference in my body.  My pants are falling off me and I have so much more energy.  I had my first real challenge at lunch this week.  One of the guys in the office was reassigned so we took him to lunch.  Unfortunately, the person leaving gets to choose the resturant.  Yep, he picked a resturant famous for deep fried pizza.  Everyone at the table ordered a giant piece of fried dough and I had a cobb salad with chicken.  I couldn't eat half of my salad and was totally satisfied.

I struggled this week with craving sweets.  I baked at least five batches of muffins, trying to find a healthy one that tasted good.  So far none of them did.  I did good on going to the gym and getting in my water. I know this is happening.  I am not in a hurry, it will happen.  The people at work are now commenting on my weight loss.  They still don't know about the wls.  They don't need to.  I feel great.  I love my band.    

It really is moving. I was so excited to see the scale drop below 230.  Yesterday, I was shopping at WalMart.  I found a box of glazed donuts on sale.  I was going to buy them for my son.  Fortuntely, I came to my senses and put them back. There is no way I could eat those donuts.   I did  not make it to the gym much this week.  I was feeling a bit tired.  It felt lke a fibro episode was starting so I didn't want to make it worse.  I am going tomorow and I will get a good work out.   I truely believe this is going to work.   I mean I hoped it would work, but now I know it is going to work. 
  It took 42 pounds before anyone even noticed that  am losing weight. But now everyone at work is commenting.   I still haven't told anyone about the surgery.   I am so happy right now I could do back flips.

I had my first oh no moment today.  I was cleaning my room and reached over and took a big gulp of water.  Within a minute, I felt some unbelievable pressure in my chest.  I almost spazzed until I remembered my papya enzymes.  I chewed two.  Very quickly I felt the water on it's way back up.    There was no wretching it just came back up.  I immediately felt better.  I'm glad I got that out of the way and now know what that feels like.  I WoNT DO THAT AGAIN.

It is definitely going to be a happy new year.  From 12/25 through 12/31, I got a little twisted with my diet.  I think I lost my fricking mind.  I made a carrot cake and couldn't say no.  I finally took it to work and gave it away.  Unfortunately, on Wednesday I started catching a cold.  I came home and went to bed with my two favorite men, Ben and Jerry.  But the madness is over.  I went to the gym yesterday and ate really well.  I also cleaned out my kitchen.  No more holiday goodies, only protein and complex carbs.  I made a pot of beans and chicken. I go for my second fill on 1/14 and I would like to have lost 10 pounds since my last visit.  I now know what bandster's hell is.  But it will not slow me down.

I have to say I have noticed a signifcient increase in energy lately.  Yesterday as I was walking on the treadmill, I noticed that I just felt lighter.  I didn't feel so weighed down.  Believe it or not I started to jog.  I actually jogged for seven minutes. That hasn't happened in a while.  Today I colored my hair and had my eyebrows waxed.  I hadn't done either in quite a while.  I figured what's the point when I felt like such a cow.  Well no more.  And yes, I look good.

Wow, a lot has happened since I last posted.  I've been making some pretty good choices.  Drove to North  Carolina on 12/11 to attend my daughter's graduation from college.  I am so proud of here. My sister decided to make it sort of an early Xmas since we would all be home.  It was great.  I baked a pumpkin cheesecake, chocolate cheesecake, turtle cheesecake, six layer coconut cake, and six layer death by chocolate cake.  My sister cooked two turkeys, a ham, collard greens, macaroni salad, potato salad, and yams.  I add about three ounces of turkey with some gravy, a spoonful of yams and some greens.  I did not touch the dessert, unless you count me licking my fingers after slicing the cake.  I didn't feel deprived and no one noticed that I didn't pig out.

The drive back through the mountains was a little stressful.  We couldn't start back until afternoon so it got dark while we were still in WV.  Needless to say I had to let my daughter drive the rest of the way home.  I need medicine and alcohol to deal with thatm, but I managed without both.

I got my first fill on 12/16. It was pretty uneventful.  BUT.. I have lost 35 pounds already.  I am so motivated.  I have started so many diets where I lost weight really quickly, but went off the diet and gained the weight back just as fast.  I can't turn this diet off and I don't want to either.  Even though I am not suppose to have restriction, I believe I do.  I could feel some not so moist chicken stop about mid chest.  It wasn't painful, but I didn't like it.  Did I mention I LOVE MY BAND!