Pre-Op Diet Day 4

Feb 26, 2009

So when I was bawling on Tuesday (which was my second day) I went to the chat room for some support. One of the gals in there told me that it would get better by day four, and she was so right. I can feel myself changing from the inside out. The last time I lost weight on Weight Watchers (I lost 17 pounds) I remember putting my leg up in bed to scratch my calf, and the fat on my side just folded instead of preventing me. I know this is probably way too much TMI, but hey, we're all honest here, right? I feel like this is the safest place for me to let it all hang out, ya know?

So I've been meaning to write down symptoms I'm having so I don't forget what it's like to be this miserable, therefore inspiring me to keep it off forever. I'll start with a list.

A few times a day, I feel like I'm hanging upside down because of poor circulation. I have to move around to get it to stop- I see spots sometimes, too.

When I drop something when I'm driving- there's no hope for me to reach it unless I get out of the car.

When I drop something on the floor when I'm in my computer chair I can't bend to the side and get it.

My leg goes numb on the pot sometimes.

I can't cross my legs.

When I'm sitting at the doctor's office, I can't read a book because my boobs and belly are so big.

The seat belt rubs into my side fat.

I can't put my arms down on my side- it's like the kid in a Christmas Story... "I can't put my arms down!!"

I get sweaty in places I should not. I'll leave it at that.

When I lay down at night, I feel like I'm suffocating sometimes.

I can't fall asleep well.

My foot hurts SO bad from plantar faciitis.

When I clean or do too much in the day, when I wake up the next morning I feel like I got hit by a bus.

I only have one pair of jeans, and the button popped off from all the stress. So now I have to kinda tuck the flaps in my undies, and sometimes my big fat belly comes popping out in public. That is ultimately humiliating.

People look at me weird.

My back hurts most of the time, especially when I first lay down.

I get winded from changing my sons diaper (on the floor)
 
I'm embarrassed when I'm naked in front of my husband.

I wear a size 24 pants, and 26/4X shirts.

I don't like to eat in front of people because I look like I'm inhaling my food.

I hate looking at how wide I am from front to back in mirrors when I walk by one.

I have a double chin- and it's a real one. And it's big. I HATE IT.

It's not easy to take a shower, I won't get into details, but if you're heavy, you know what I mean.

It's not as easy to go to the bathroom as it used to be.


Okay, I feel like I've summed it up pretty well. If I forgot something, I'll add it later. I more or less just wanted to document this now before I forget all the little reasons I hate being fat.

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