I'm a cheater :(

Mar 02, 2009

So last night, my little man spent the night at Grammy's because I'm getting ready to go to my four hour pre-op class. I had done good all night, but I was having a bad craving for bad stuff. I kept pushing it aside. Well last night at midnight, my husband was snoring and I was in bed reading a book... and all of a sudden, it hit me. It was like a monster inside of me, I swear. I flew out of bed to the freezer. I had to have Eggo waffles. Not just one, no. I had four. With peanut butter and sugar free syrup (not 'cause I'd feel better about it but I've always preferred sugar free). And it seriously like I was getting a fix (that was one of my vices in life before this WLS stuff). What the heck??? I felt so bad I was in tears by the time it was over. But you know what? I felt like crap after I ate them physically and emotionally. I felt like I had let all my friends down here. I felt like I let my doctor down. And more than anything, I let myself down. But for breakfast I had two eggs and a half an orange (per my pre-op diet guidelines) so I didn't continue the bad behavior. I totally slipped. I thought that I might not blog this because I'm so embarassed, but I thought against it. I kept thinking, what if someone later does what I did and needs encouragement to get going again? What if someone needs to know that there are other people out there that screw up, too? I worked out this morning for 40 minutes (an aerobic video toned down but aerobic for me all the same!) and now I'm walking to my pre-op class that is a mile and a half away. Hopefully it doesn't rain that hard! But I forgave myself and I'm determined not to do it again. I weighed myself this morning and I lost another three pounds. That proved to me that I can keep going even with my slip last night. Well, I'm off to the pre-op class, I'll let you all know how it goes later.

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