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Alright so I stepped on the scale today and found that my 2nd stall is over - I'm down to 165lbs...45lbs off of my pre-op weight and I was so excited!  So excited in fact, that I went shopping with my big sister for some new clothes at Value Village for this size and the next size down.  I still felt big..and conspicuous in the stores, but much better...closer to normal yknow?  I could go to the rack that said 9/10 and sometimes find something that fit...although I kept starting at the 1x racks and working my way down....just out of habit I guess.  I even bought some 7/8 clothes because I know I'm going to be there soon...which blows my mind.  

So then I started preparing for our next support group meeting (we have one on the first wednesday of every month) and someone asked me to bring in my before pics to show my progress so far...so I started sorting through them and I didn't recognize myself (you can look at my pre-op pics in my photo albums and...wow).  Even now, I'm flipping back and forth between this page and that page and shaking my head - I can't believe that was me.  No wonder I hated having my picture taken - and could never find a pair of pants that didn't show off my love handles....I didn't think I was doing that well because I was still able to wear so many of my old clothes - but that's because I was squeezing...er pouring myself into them long after I should have moved into the 2xs.  I'm now wearing a size 10 and can fit some small shirts and small jackets - that's incredible to me!

I'm now getting it - I will NEVER look like that again.  I don't think it's sinking in that I'll be hovering around 130 for the rest of my life...that's amazing to me....but regarldess, I will never be over 200lbs again.  One step at a time.  I hope everyone else is starting to notice the difference.  Even now, I still feel embarrassed to show off my before photos but I know that they reflect something to be proud of - a place that I will never be again! Can't wait to do some of my "after" photos in a bathingsuit to show off THAT difference! :)

Thanks everyone for all of your support - and for the answers to all of my questions - it's because of all of you and especially my big sister that I've been able to lose the weight and transition so well.

Lighter dayz ahead...not too far off now!

This is when I start to actually believe that this is happening to me.  This morning I had the opportunity of clearing a massive garbage bag full of clothes from my closet and for once, it's not because they were too small!  I'm excited to find that I'm swimming in size 16s (my 18s fell right off of me) and my 14s make me look like a raggamuffin, just too baggy! I'm now into some of the clothes given to me by a good friend...size 12s and 11s.  I fit back into my size 31 jeans on the weekend and was dancing around my room like I'd won the lottery.  I know there will be more weight loss ahead but for me...I feel 10x better about myself just seeing that I'm creeping close to single-digit sizes.

I've only lost 30 lbs and am one month post-op officially as of yesterday but that is HUGE for me.  It took me 2 YEARS to put that on...and a month to take it off.  I love my little jellybean (aka the sleeve *lol*). 

Has anyone found any safe, gentle exercises to do (besides walking) while their abs heal up? I'm very nervous about stretching and tearing things...but being as though it's -40 out, I'm hoping to find a class that might be gentle enough to work out for me...indoors :)

Also...to track or not to track?  I KNOW I haven't been getting all the water or protein that I need despite my best efforts, do you find that tracking helps force you to get those last little bits in?  What do you use? Any good aps for the blackberry?!

I'm excited and starting to feel hot again - hoping to drop another 10 lbs or so before we leave for our trip January 5 - we'll see how that goes.

Thanks everyone for all of your help and support, my jellybean COULD have done it without you but it would have NEVER been as much fun!!! You guys are fantastic and your tips and hints have saved me from a life of tuna, tuna and more tuna!

Lighter dayz ahead :)

Hi everyone!

What a crazy ride this has been! Sorry that I fell off the face of the earth, I found that I was in a bit of an anti-social mood while healing but let me rewind and fill you in on what's happening.

It has been 13 days since my second surgery (the leak repair).  When I woke up from my leak repair surgery, I felt 1000 times better than waking up from my initial surgery, and that made me feel much better about the whole process itself.  I had my surgery on a Thursday, recovered that night and on Friday, then Saturday morning I was up at about 4am pacific, showered, packed all of my things, did my purple water test (I PASSED this one lol) and Theo came from the house to the clinic to do my hair for my travels, he's so sweet!  After that they took out my drain (and can I just say...that sucked a lot! Take deep deep breaths for that one people!) and sent me off to get my xrays.  Those were done in no time and then it was off to the border and back to the San Diego Airport.  

It took about an hour and a bit to cross the border - I was glad I asked the guys to pick me up a gatorade for the trip.  I was lucky in that I didn't feel naseous or sick, just tired but I got through it all.  Because I was in a wheelchair, I sped through customs and was stuck hanging out at my gate for almost 2 hours before my flight left.  I think the most difficult thing about traveling alone is that you can't leave your bags unattended in the airport - but you can't carry them yourself.  In fact even my PURSE felt too heavy for me, so I tended to stick pretty close to the gate.  My pain was minimal, even though the clinic had cut off my pain meds at about 5am and given me no pills, I was sore but it wasn't bad.  The most annoying thing was, once you're on the plane, people tend to pull on the back of your seat to get settled or to move forward, and that tends to hurt - it's always been a pet peeve of mine though so I'm sure that didn't help.

I was lucky that I didn't have too many people seated near me and I could try to get as comfy as possible...because I was so recently in surgery, I still had all of that fluid and CO2 gathered in my gut and was bigger than I went in at, so it was definitely interesting.  On the plane, I ordered hot water with sweetner (no tea) and it definitely helped to soothe me and keep me warm.  I generally run hot on planes but I froze on the trip home so I would suggest bringing a sweater to others, in case their body reacts in the same way.

I had a layover in Minneapolis - where the NorthWest airlines people were beyond less than helpful, in fact rude until I ended up breaking down in tears and they realized that I was actually in pain and not some lazy person in a wheelchair.  Please note, if you can afford it, fly ANY OTHER AIRLINE - NorthWest has smaller seats, no radio, no movies and after my non-customer service experience with them, I will definitely be looking at alternate airlines even though they may be a bit more expensive.  

When I finally got home to Saskatoon it was almost midnight and I powered through customs and security in my wheelchair (it seems silly to do but definitely take advantage of it, your body is so tired and has been though so much, it definitely is worthwhile).  My husband was there to meet me and so was Mel and Caralee, the WeightLoss Forever ladies.  At midnight!? They came to visit and make sure I was okay - thought I looked much better than they expected.  And despite such a long day, I wasn't ready for bed, so we had everyone over to my house for tea (er..hot water and sweetner *lol*) and talked about my experience, my travels and how I was feeling.  I was sore, and found that there was still pain in my back but compared to the pain I went through earlier in the week with the leak...I can suck up anything *lol*

A few days later...I found infection in my incisions.  They weren't only weeping, I had a mini Niagara falls in my largest incision, so I was off to a walk-in clinic to get antibiotics.  At this point I was just drinking water (Fiji water of course...everything else feels like a brick in my stomach) Gatorade and lots and lots of popsicles! Cleaning my wounds everyday, I started to notice that as my ab muscle pain decreased, I found more pain in my back and especially when I took deep breaths, tried to yawn, snore...anything, I couldn't put pressure on it, lying down to sleep was impossible - so now it was time to go to ER and see what they had to say about it all.  

They gave me 4 litres of fluid (that's a 13 hour ER visit!) and some pills for pain but basically told me that I should continue to monitor my temperature.  They think all those pains were just internal bruising from my surgeries, or the beginnings of a kidney infection, so I definitely have to keep hydrated to prevent stones from happening and keep an eye on my temperature for fever.  Other than that...free to go!

At this point - my husband had to go back to work and couldn't help me with the puppies so we came up with a system - he left newspaper on the table and everytime the pup had an accident, I drop paper on it for Brian to clean up later.  Sounded great until we realized how much damage a pup can do in 10 hours.  I ended up calling my husband home early because of the smell and because I was overwhelmed, tired and in pain - it was pretty pitiful.  That was my biggest low - then it was nothing but up from there.  I've been able to slowly take on my chores again, I can bend over but slowly and the pain is defintely minimal.  Even my internal bruising is easing up and I'm feeling better that way as well.

I have been drinking fruit smoothies, Fiji water, have the occasional SF pudding, and protein shakes, we take the dogs for short walks and I have been going out shopping with friends so I'm getting myself out in the world and walking as much as I can without tiring myself out.  I start back and work and am moving myself to mushies next week so we'll see how that goes!

I had my stitches removed a few days ago - no pain at all, they look pretty good, most of the infection is gone and you can tell the healing is coming along nicely so I'm excited for that (mainly because I want to have a bath again!) Oh and I guess the thing everyone wants to hear....I AM DOWN 19 LBS! In 13 days!?! Pretty exciting stuff there!

I guess that's what you've missed so far.  I will try to write more often, now that I'm back in the real world, I'll have a lot more challenges to face and will definitely be relying on the network for tips and tricks.  So glad to be on this side of the surgery!

Lighter dayz ahead :)

So today is Saturday...as you will note, I've missed a few days of writing in between my surgery date and today, mainly because I got what 1 in 1000 people get with my surgery...should have bought a lottery ticket but wasn't feeling up to it.  Guessed it yet?! It's a leak! How exciting!

Here I was thinking my head, you bastards from the forum can't find enough adjectives to describe really bad gas and let me believe it was way easier than it was, then suddenly I hear through the grapevine that I'm going back into the OR...after two days of feeling like I'm dying a slow and painful death of course, thinking - could my appendix be bursting? Is this just gas? Get it out getitioutgetitoutgetitout!  One minute you're eating a blue freezing and drinky murky looking purple water, the next minute you're in hysterics because you have to go through the whole procedure again and dreading the thought of the post-op pain that I had just lived through.  The staff was really good, everyone assured me that my situation was rare (reaaaal comforting) and easy to fix (not if I had to go through hell again!) but waking up in the OR, all I can rembember thinking is, what have I done to myself, why couldn't I just take self-esteem classes and love fat me instead of killing myself in Mexico and that I really wished my husband and my friend Mel was here helping me through this.  Luckily enough, I could text Mel through the whole ordeal and she'd attack things from her end, so that was nice to know someone was fighting for me and helping me through.  All of this when I couldn't get passed the chattering of my teeth to ask if they fixed it.

When I could speak, they moved me slowly to my room and told me that the surgery was successfu;, they had to take my stomach and wash it, drain all the liquids that had gathered in my lower back and check for other leaks, then fix them.  All in all, 30 minutes to make it so I could walk again without feeling like I was being stabbed inthe back was worth it.  The downside to all of this? Starting from square one all over again.  THe doctor didn't get my into surgery until Thursday, so I was back to walking out the gas (which is NOTH|ING compared to what I went through so no big deal there), showering with my IV, maneuvering on and off the hospital beds and still trying to figure out where to drop myself so I landed on the toilet seat and not on the floor. 

All of Friday was the same, sleeping, multiple needles, popping up to pee and then suddenly I started getting nauseus (sp).   All of the guys who work for the hospital are very helpful patient coordinators, drivers, very friendly guys who take their job (us) seriously.  THey love to chat and hang out and have fun but some of them wear a bit too much cologne and it definitely doesn't help the healing process. The fabric softner, cleaning products and even the toilet paper I think are scented.  I started getting insanely nauseus friday night, so now I'm dealing with that, day 1 of mother nature's visit, and at 4am one of the other patients down the hall deicdes that this would be the best time to blast their Tv.  I've topped out on my nausea meds and am not sure what the day has in store fo rme now - I'm supposed to be doing that purple water test and my xrays (how exciting if I can't keep both liquids down) but the nurse just handed me a blue freezie and I'm starting to feel a little superstituious - I know that dry ache in my mouth has not been helped by sucking on ice chips and spitting out the water but...I've been up puking all night and I'm worried this blue freezie is a sign that I'm not ready to go home yet.  Crazy?! You would be too if you were stuck here with me by yourself. 

Advice for anyone interested in taking it - come down with someone, no matter who, bring your own suppositories, you can't take anything orally but man I think I wouldn't have half this nausea problem if I could poop - haven't seen any action down there since Monday....oh and bring more pjs than you think you need (buttton up tops are best) and beware of blue freezies...juuuuuuuuuuust in case.

I'm going to go flush this one and get myself ready for the morning.  Both tests at 8, airport by 12, flight out at 2:30 and I arrive at home around midnight.  I just hope I can pass the tests and survive the day, then I'm debating what flavour of gatorade I remember as being the best...I hate to say it, but I think purple is coming to mind...

Anyway, that's a quick update from my insane world - hope I will have nothing but good news for you as my day progresses today.  TO all of you that thought I was just being a big baby/wussbag through the gas part of recovery - I took one for the team so you didn't have to...I guess someone has to be that 1 in 1000 hey? I'm just refusing to play the odds again...no more bets for this girl!.

Lighter dayz (hopefully?!) ahead,

So yesterday was rough....I wrote my pre-op blog for you all and expected my shuttle to take me to the hospital at 8...it was 9 before we left.  Then I found out that there was a lap band patient that would be going ahead of me so I got all suited up, saw the cardiologist, had my blood taken and waited in recovery...right beside the operating room for my turn to come.  Everyone was nice, smiling or saying hi as they wandered past me and the second that the first patient came out, they bundled him up in a bed beside me and the doctor came out to talk to me briefly while they cleaned the room. My IV went in with  some problems but otherwise it was pretty uneventful, they walked me into the OR, put the drugs in my IV line and had me count to down - I was gone and didn't wake up until late last night.  I had severe gas pains, pain in general and trouble breathing.  Every time the nurse came she would give me something fo the pain and I would immediately get sick, never failed.   The gas pains were so bad they ran up my back and across my shoulders.  I found it so hard to take a deep breath (still do) and am having a significant amount of nausea.

I was up this morning with help to have a shower and walk aorund a bit but I kept feeling so dizzy and full of pain/gas that I ended right back in bed where I started.  One of the ladies from the house is here getting her teeth whitened and I almost cried at the sight of a friendly face.  Apparently all of this is normal, but I wish I would have had a better idea, going in, just how bad the gas would be.  The pain runs up my spine and all around my stomach and I'm hoping it goes away soon before I start having regrets and wondering why I did this to myself.  The staf fhas been awesome, and despite not speaking english, the night nurse was great - they check on you every hour without fail.

Dr. Almanza came in to check on me and tell me what the next steps are - I'll get water and ice tonight around 6pm, then my tests tomorrow and then I go back to the guest houses to relax and live off of liquids for the next two weeks.  I can't wait to get home, but I didn't want to call my husband because I was all emotional and I didn't want to set him off too.

Alright, I'm not feeling too hot - going to go back to bed, try not to get sick and start walk walk walking soon to get rid of some of this gas - I can't wait to be done with this stage of this journey, I really want to forget all about it.

Lighter dayz ahead :)

So because of my long day of travelling yesterday, I only stayed up until about 9pm tijuana time (11pm my time) chatting with the other people staying in the house with me - even the staff all came over around 7 and had a big family dinner here, we all sat and chatted - they wanted to know all about us, our families, pets, you name it - it's really nice to know that the people who are going to take care of you actually CARE about you.  Even one of the house staff, who doesn't speak english very well has been absolutely amazing in taking care of our every need, she's always very concerned that we've had enough to drink *lol*.  The rest of the staff speaks english so well, there's no worry that you won't be understood, I'm picking up a few phrases from them in Spanish so I'm hoping that while I'm sitting, bored in my hospital bed, I can con someone into coming in and teaching me more. 

The only thing that has bothered me a bit so far has been that it's never truly been communicated to me what time I start, I got the gist from one of the patient coordinators that I'll be the first one in.  THe driver hinted that they'd be picking me up at 7 but they asked it like a question.  Then doctor Bettencourt said something to one of the drivers before they went home last night about ocho so I decided to be dressed and ready for 7 (just in case) but to expect to be taken over at 8.  It would be nice to have a bit of an agenda in writing about the events of the day so I can tell everyone else what time to check on me but it doesn't really matter to m - I'm here regardless!  I told my husband to expect to hear from me late in the afternoon and if he doesn't to call Shirley, who has been great, and get an update, just in case I'm really not feeling so hot. 

I went to bed last night and slept like a baby until about 4am - then I slept on and off until about 6:45, I kept having these dreams about post-surgery, nothing bad, just normal interaction dreams - it was weird.  So I got up, packed up my bags, got dressed and started writing this blog.  I can't eat or drink anything (haven't since 9pm last night) to make sure my stomach is doubly empty.  I don't think there's too much else to worry about...now we just let the process take it's course.

Our houseman aka guru of the kitchen just arrived, his name is Theo and he does everything, cooking, cleaning, bag running, HAIR! *lol* he's fantastic.  The women I'm staying with all want to take him home with them.  Actually one of the ladies here had her gastric done a year ago, lost 100 lbs and is just back for her tummy tuck to take care of all of the excess skin.  Her surgery was on Friday and she already looks phenomenal, her skin is so smooth! She's mobile and doing well - it seems like they do just about everything here!

I think that's all I wanted go get down this morning before I go in - don't want to leave you any fuzzy details for after my surgery, but I'm hoping I'll be able to check-in soon after. Dr Bettencourt told me that my suitcase will be held at the hospital for me and he personally will take my purse and other belongings to store in the safe, so I'm hoping I get to see him soon after and get my netbook back from him to do some serious reading, sleeping and blogging!

I will see you all on the other side of things soon - loser's bench here I come!

Lighter Dayz start today!

So this morning my husband dropped me off at the airport at a bright and early 4am and my adventure began.  I wasn't nervous or stressed, I just plugged along through security and curled up with my newly purchased netbook to read until my gate was called.  My carry-on passed all scrutiny so that's a bonus - for a sec there I thought I'd have too many liquids in that little plastic bag to pass through but it worked out.  I had a layover in mineapolis for almost 2 hours and then hopped on the next plane to San Diego.  Filling out that customs card kind of confused me a bit because they don't give you an option for "I'm not staying in the US - I'm running across the border to have surgery" so I just filled out the name of the clinic and put it in San Diego - I didn't get interrogated so that's a bonus!

When I arrived at the San Diego airport the shuttle was only 10 minutes away and the guys were REALLY friendly.  They drove me across the border without any issue and brought me to my new home away from home.  This place is absolutely gorgeous (nicer than most resorts I've stayed at) and talk about 10 star service! They won't let you do a thing! It's gorgeous here, the beds are so comfortable - the kitchen is fully stocked and the staff cooks and cleans for you.  I'm blown away by how nice everyone is here!

Dr. Bettencourt (?) was here to greet me as well as a few other ladies who were post op and they are all a hoot - so easy to just fall into conversation with them and hear all about their last-minute advice.  I have two ladies and a gentleman here with me that have had gastric bypasses and another one (from CANADA!) who has just had her sleeve done.  Everyone seems in good spirits and their all doing very well. 

I'm the first one in tomorrow for my surgery, they're picking me up at 7am; no makeup, no fragrance, no jewelry and then I'm off to the races.  I can honestly tell you that I have no nerves, no doubts and no worries walking into this - I've been floating through this past week oddly enough - no stress and no worries, and believe it or not, NO FOOD FUNERALS!!! I actually just opted for soups and protein shakes to get me through the airport and this evening.  Weird hey?!

I don' t know how chatty I'll be feeling tomorrow but I will try to post as soon as I'm able to and keep you in the loop on how I'm doing.  For those lurkers...the newbies who are just curious to know all the details, I will do what I can to fill in the blanks as I go. 

Lighter Dayz ahead (and only hours away!!!)

So I leave first thing Monday morning and I couldn't be more excited.  Our house has been a flury of activity with my husband's family visiting us and a new puppy joining our ranks so I'm actually looking forward to being cut open just to get some peace and quiet (and SLEEP)! *lol* actually I know this is no laughing matter but I have been chomping at my bit to have my surgery over the past month and being in the presence of his very skinny family has definitely driven the point home - I can't wait to be comfortable in my own skin again.

I haven't even been doing the food funeral thing that everyone seems to mention - I've been on a clean eating diet for the past year now and just really don't have as many cravings as I thought I would. I just keep thinking about our impending trip to the dominican and the terror that summer weather, bathing suits and navigating massive buffet tables trying to fortify my willpower.  That is more than enough to make me skip to the airport at 4am on a Monday and feel excitement at the prospect of never ever having to feel like this again.  I would give up every food in the world to have that feeling.

And so, no nerves, no stress, just absolutely beyond-ready to get started and get on with the rest of my life. 

Ligher dayz ahead - you can bet on that!

Okay so I've done my homework and my shopping - I have gas x, immodium, tums, chewable vitamins, calcium.  I've had my bag packed since peanutfreemom's  info session, I've stocked my cupboards with ensure, protein powder and marked out the 2 oz marks in all of my favourite cups (sip sip sip right?!) and now I'm honestly just counting down the days...nevermind that it's halloween this weekend and I'm having a big party at my place....nor that our new puppy (and my inlaws) are coming to visit us from 2 provinces away in 11 days and we have to have the house ready and decorated for the early christmas that we have planned.  Forget all of that - my life changes in 15 days and I can't wait!!!!

I'm looking over the diet for the next few weeks, just trying to get my head wrapped around all of the changes that I'm going to be making and I'm so excited! I have been trapped in this body for too long - pushing myself at gyms, starving and then binging, avoiding going out because nothing I own fits properly anymore - no more...okay well that last one might happen but only because my clothes will be TOO BIG! I can't wait for that day...I will do anything for that day!

We have a family trip planned for January to the Dominican and I'm hoping to never see my size 16 bathingsuit again - especially not for that trip:  I'm hoping that in the three months before the trip, I can get myself into a 9 or even (sigh) a 7!!!!

So here I am - ready as ever.  No nerves, no stress, just chomping at the bit to get going.  If there's anyone out there who is considering this surgery and is stressing or worrying about it, feel free to drop me a line or at the very least remember:  All the skinny chicks in the world can rag on you about your food choices, about your lack of exercise or dedication - you could be trying like there's no tomorrow but your hunger defeats you everytime...wouldn't it be so easy to eat properly if you could just kill the hunger? I don't know how YOU might choose to kill that hunger, but I know how I will.  I'm excited for my sleeve surgery and for my new start.  It's your body, it's your choice; nothing changes if nothing changes....so make a change today!

Lighter dayz :)
E

Okay so I finally decided to take the plunge and join the forum.  I, like so many out there, have been a bit of a lurker ever since I attended an info session about weight loss surgery.  I've been intrigued ever since.  I walked into that session with every doubt in the world, I mean, take out part of my stomach?! In MEXICO?! It just sounds absolutely ludacris to anyone who hasn't gotten to the point in their life yet - some of you know which point I'm talking about - the point where you would do anything...absolutely anything to just feel comfortable in your own skin again. 

If I had a firstborn, I would almost consider a sale...so handing over part of my stomach was a no-brainer. *lol* Okay so I'm kidding...at least a little bit.  Actually I'm typically a very "just the facts ma'am" type of person and even though I was skeptical, I was very open-minded.  After hearing Mel's story and listening to all of the things she went through in researching the right surgeon and clinic, in finding the right balance for food and finally after being forced to HAVE to replace her size 14s with size 4s (rough times...I know), I decided that I was satisfied - it wasn't a matter of "if" I would go and get this surgery...but "when".  I'm 25 years old and I have so much life ahead of me - I'm tired of living it inside, in shame and under cover!

I actually went home that night and told my husband all about it and asked for his input - besides Mel and the people in that info session, he's the only person I've kept in the loop about my desire to just get back to normal again and my frustration at my inability to lose weight no matter what I try.  He told me to go for it, if it's really what I wanted and then all I had to do was figure out a way to pay for it.  

I went out the next day and bought myself a carry-on suitcase and everything I would need for the trip: pjs, travel sized goodies, etc. I packed it and set it in the hall and decided that, even if it took me a year or more, I would save up enough to have this surgery.  

Luckily enough, I didn't have to wait!  Medicare is now available for Canadians and the borrowing process is easier than getting a credit card! The rates aren't killer - but I'll definitely be making it a priority to pay it back.

So from the info session in August, to my APPROVAL in October and now the countdown to my surgery on November 10th has begun.  I am ready to start this journey and I'm willing to help anyone else who's curious about Dr. Almanza, VSG sleeve surgery, and the clinic in Mexico.  I will definitely keep you posted on the details as I get through it all - I'm even hoping to hunt down a netbook so I have a portable laptop to take down with me so when I'm bored, I can occupy my time by chatting with all of you!

Congratulations to the Vets on the successes of their journey, I'm jealous but I'm excited to be joining you all soon.  To all the newbies, welcome and I can't wait to hear all of your exciting news!

I'll keep you posted if you'll do the same :)
Lighter dayz ahead...

left that info session