Halfway there and I don't even recognize myself...

Jan 31, 2010

Alright so I stepped on the scale today and found that my 2nd stall is over - I'm down to 165lbs...45lbs off of my pre-op weight and I was so excited!  So excited in fact, that I went shopping with my big sister for some new clothes at Value Village for this size and the next size down.  I still felt big..and conspicuous in the stores, but much better...closer to normal yknow?  I could go to the rack that said 9/10 and sometimes find something that fit...although I kept starting at the 1x racks and working my way down....just out of habit I guess.  I even bought some 7/8 clothes because I know I'm going to be there soon...which blows my mind.  

So then I started preparing for our next support group meeting (we have one on the first wednesday of every month) and someone asked me to bring in my before pics to show my progress so far...so I started sorting through them and I didn't recognize myself (you can look at my pre-op pics in my photo albums and...wow).  Even now, I'm flipping back and forth between this page and that page and shaking my head - I can't believe that was me.  No wonder I hated having my picture taken - and could never find a pair of pants that didn't show off my love handles....I didn't think I was doing that well because I was still able to wear so many of my old clothes - but that's because I was squeezing...er pouring myself into them long after I should have moved into the 2xs.  I'm now wearing a size 10 and can fit some small shirts and small jackets - that's incredible to me!

I'm now getting it - I will NEVER look like that again.  I don't think it's sinking in that I'll be hovering around 130 for the rest of my life...that's amazing to me....but regarldess, I will never be over 200lbs again.  One step at a time.  I hope everyone else is starting to notice the difference.  Even now, I still feel embarrassed to show off my before photos but I know that they reflect something to be proud of - a place that I will never be again! Can't wait to do some of my "after" photos in a bathingsuit to show off THAT difference! :)

Thanks everyone for all of your support - and for the answers to all of my questions - it's because of all of you and especially my big sister that I've been able to lose the weight and transition so well.

Lighter dayz ahead...not too far off now!

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