FullfiguredVirgoGal

June 2005

blog images JUNE 2005
The Dreaded PSYCH Consult and Sleep Study this month


6/1/05

Hi All,
I am sorry that I did not come back to update yesterday, but I decided to wait until today because I had my psych consult today and I can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
WELL, "I am SOOOOO MAD AT MYSELF." I went to my physician consult on 5/31 and I have GAINED 6 pounds since 5/11. I went from 346 to 352 and I am not even sure of what I ate to get me 6 pounds heavier. I want to blame it on the clothes, because I was in shorts the 1st time I weighed and I was in pants this time. And I must say that I did do a little overeating, because I had a nature visit that I had not had in 6 months. So maybe I over did it with the Hersey's cookies and cream white chocolate bars, but I only had 2 and I can usually eat 5. So now for the enjoyment of the candy, my surgeon has ordered me to lose at least 15lbs, before I have my surgery. He is still going to schedule my surgey, and we are looking at late July instead of late June like I originally planned. So I am not going to trip out about waiting a few more weeks.
Now as for my psych consult, what is everybody talking about. I have read journals that said, their psych consult took 2 or more hours, mine was one hour even and that was because my mother(my support person)asked questions herself. I was really suspicious about talking to her when she started to ask about my personal and sex life, but then I though that it was kinda good that they look at sexual behavior (ie..How many partners and so forth)so that you are not doing it to empress some one other than yourself. Hey, I want this surgery to make me feel better and no one else, just me. She asked how much did I know about the surgery, and how long have I been thinking about doing it. I have thought about doing it about 3 years ago, but at that time Marcie had done her's and I was so amazed at the weight that she had lost, and I started to think about it. But I stopped thinking about it because I was going to do it because someone else had done it. So now 3 years later, I have made up my mind, without help, to have this surgery so that I can possibly get rid of the Blood Pressure Medications. So with that she gave me the Okay, that I was a perfect candidate for the surgery and that I did not have any underlying things going on that would prevent me from having this surgery. She said that she would send her evaluation to Dr. Cahalan and that I should be good to go. Yeah, I am good to go from my Psych and Surgeon, but am I a "good to go" with my insurace company. But my insurance company told me that they will pay, but I had to meet the guidelines as to failed weightloss attempts and co-morbid illiness that I have. Today I was Diagnosed as being "MORBIDLY OBESE", I think that term is so harsh and cruel and it really hurt my feelings to see that on those papers about me, but you are what you eat and have eaten. But now I am ready to be a healthy individual. Thanks for reading and as always....
Have a Blessed and Prosperous Day and I hope that YOUR surgery has gone or will go great as Mine will.
BYE


6/11/2005

Hello All,
This is not an update on my surgery process, but an update on me period. I am just wanting to vent. I am a full-time nursing student and I am on my clinical rotations and I decided to step on the scale just to see where I am on this diet. I was told be my surgeon to lose 15 lbs in order to get a surgery date, and when I stepped on the scale, it gave me something that I never thought that I would see, a 12 lbs weight increase. I am so MAD at myself I wanted to cry. But then I thought, "This scale is to weigh people in wheelchairs, and it may be wrong". So the next time that I am in class, I am going to weigh myself on a people scale and if that says the same thing then I have 30 lbs to lose rather than 15 lbs. BUMMER!!! So wish me luck on that. I think that this weight increase comes from nervous eating. I am so anxious to have this surgery that I am unconsciously eating. I am thinking that I am cutting down on the number of times that I eat in a day, drinking more water, and exercising but it seems to not be working. I am going to try something else. Maybe I will try "Trim Spa" to get these 30 lbs off. I feel comitted to my weight loss, but my body is just not showing it. My sleep study is Friday, 6/17 and I will be back around then to update you on this progress and my results.
Thank you for reading and as always,
May the LORD GOD BLESS
YOU REAL GOOD!!!!!
TTFN, Nissah


6/18/2005

Hello All,
Well, I had my sleep study last night and YES, I have sleep apnea. They will be getting me a CPAP machine by Monday. I have a F/U visit on July 12th to check my progress. I was sure hoping that I did not have sleep apnea, but it is a given when you are obese (such a nasty word "obese"). I say it comes with the fat. So like all the others, I have to wear the goofy looking machine to bed. Hey, what happens when you are "having sex", can this be taken off or do you have to get it with this mask on. That has to be an UGLY site. Anywho, as they say, I slept very light while I was there, and that is not my usual way of sleeping. I could hear everything that was going on in and down the halls. Nothing much, just staff talking and laughing trying to stay awake. But I slept peacefully and good. I am well rested this morning. Usually, by now I am sleepy and trying to get a nap, but not today. The room I had was very nice. It had a full-sized bed, a recliner, a T.V., a bathroom with shower. They even had a crib. I guess they have to diagnose babies too. I could control the temperature in my room and I had a nice table there to write on. Overall, the sleep center was nice and comfortable and the staff "Superb". My technician at the sleep center is in classes with me for this surgery, so she was very helpful and supportive. The only thing is they had no remote control for the T.V. so I had to manually turn the channels and volume. Remotes just make you lazy, and I am going to try to live without it for a while. Anywho, I am going to go now. I will update again later. The next time I update, hopefully I will have a "YOUR APPROVED" and a surgery date. All my test are done as of today, and these are the last 2 things that I will be waiting on. I know I am approved, but I need to see it on paper from the insurance company, and I want to party and my excuse for partying will be my surgery date.
TTFN.....God Bless and Stay BLESSED

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May 2005

 

blog layout MAY 2005
CONSULT WITH SURGEON AND NUTRIONIST THIS MONTH

5/5/2005
Hello,
Well, I have a bit of bad news and a lot of good news. First the bad news: I went to my Internist on 5/2, had a physical for surgery clearance and some blood work done. Now mind you that the blood work was done fasting, and I got a call from my internist and they said that I have Diabetes that can be controlled with oral medication. Although I knew this would happen, because I had Gestational Diabetes with my last 2 pregnancy, I just hoped that it would not come this soon in life. So, I have yet another reason to have this surgery. And I also found out that I am 2 inches shorter than what I was told in High School for cap and gown measurements. No way and I taking 5'5" as my height. I have always known that I am 5'7" and I am sticking with that.
BUT,the Good news is, I have my nurse visit on 5/11, and at that time I will get another consult with the surgeon. Everything is rolling now, and I am SOOOOOO HAPPY. My family reunion is in August, and I want to have had my surgery by then so that I can show off a somewhat new look. I know that the weight will come off fast for me, because with every diet that I have been on and successfully lost any weight, it was more than 50lbs in two months. The last really successful diet that I was on, I lost 80lbs, in less than three months and I felt great. I packed on 40lbs during the pregnancy and another 60lbs in the last three years, which brings me at my grand total I am today....348 lbs. So I want to lose at the least 148lbs....and at the most 168lbs, which will put me at 180lbs. I do not want to be any smaller than 180lbs. Why? Because I have been heavy for 20 of my 31 years of life, and I really liked being 180lbs when I was 17 years old. I had the older guys running after me, LOL. So I have to go to my internist today, to pick up my prescription for diabetes medication and start taking that. I am glad that they found out now and not any sooner. I have taking medicine and hopefully I will only be taking the diabetes medication for a couple of months, instead of a couple of years like I have been taking my Blood Pressure meds. Well I am going to go now and I hope you all have a great journey in your weight lose endeavors. Until we meet again, GOD BLESS YOU...


5/11/2005
Hi All,
Just wanted to post a few things that are going on at this time. Well, to some it may be nothing, but to me it is a(hopefully)minor set back. After contacting my insurance company MYSELF, I was told that my surgery WILL be approved due to my co-morbid illnesses that I have. Hypertension, asthma, diabetes, foot surgery, and knee pain are all factors of approvals. But today, Melanie, the insurance coordinator, told me that they have had revisions in the contract since I spoke with them. They are now saying that I HAVE to have had at the minimum, 2 physician supervised diet and exercise programs for a consecutive 6 months in the last two years. My problem, I have only had ONE (1) physician supervised diet, every other diet I have done on my own, and the other supervised diet and exercise plan were done in Chicago and I do not have the time to track them down, now living in Altoona, Iowa. I have told the doctors about the diets, but they have never wrote anything down in regard to it. So, I may have to wait six (6) months before I can have my surgery, and I am a little mad, but this will teach me patients. I want this surgery so bad, I can taste it. I dream about losing this weight almost everyday. I also found out today that I am going to need a CPAP machine. No, I have not had my sleep study yet, but Amy, sleep apnea consultant, said that only 14 out of 1500 sleep studies that she has conducted, did not need a CPAP machine and that is this year alone. So, to be honest with myself, I know that I am going to need a machine. I do snore and I have woke up gaging at times, and that is a sign that I will need the machine. I have to use the machine for 4 hours, 7 days a week, for 4 weeks consecutively, to be compliant with the program and get clearance. They will not give me clearance or schedule my surgery, if this is not done. AND after the 4 weeks of use, I must continue to use the CPAP after the clearance letter is given, and after my surgery date is given, up until the day of surgery, or I can risk having my surgery rescheduled. How will they know that I did or did not use the machine, because it is all computer downloaded, and they have figured out a way to keep me (us) from cheating the machine.
But my physician consult will be on May 31st along with my Nutrition consult and on June 1 I have my psyc evaluation. I am going to try to reschedule my eval for the 31st, so that I do not have to miss school on both days. Okay, I am going now. I know that this is a long journal entry, but I feel better when I can tell GOD and another person about the ordeals that I am experiencing, even if the other person is not listening, I KNOW THAT GOD IS LISTENING. Until next time....
May his peace be with YOU, til we meet again
P.s. I forgot to say that I have lost 2.3 pound since 5/2. I went for my physical on this day and I weighed 348.8 pounds and today at my nurse visit I weigh 346.5...So this is a great start for me.


5/14/2005

Hello everybody,
Well I got a call for my sleep study testing and it is scheduled for June 17th @ 8:30p. I am not to excited about this because once I get the AutoPap machine, I have to use it until well after my surgery. I can't sleep with things attached to me and this is going to be hard. I was thinking that I would only have to bare it for 1-2 months, but it looks like it is going to be a little longer. My insurance company is acting up now after they previously said that I am approved because of my co-morbid illness. But now they say that I have to be on a Dr's supervised diet for 6 months and be compliant in hopes for a YES approval. So I am headed to the dr on Monday, to see if she can start me on something of a diet. Well I thought that I would get this in my journal so that I wont forget. I save all of the backups and put them on paper, so in the future I can see how far I came to become thin. And hopefully, this may help someone with their pursuit to a healthier them.
TTFN (Ta-Ta for Now) GOD bless you real good.

5/31/2005@ 1:19am
Hi All,
Later on today I have my Nutrition and Surgeon consults and I am a bit nervous, and that is why I am up at this hour. So I decided to just give an update. My Psych consult is tomorrow 6/1. All is well and I am getting a little anxious and jittery about the surgery. Marcie, a good friend that is 3 years post op, said that it is normal to get nervous before consults and things. She also said that it gets worse, after you know that everything is done on my side and I am waiting on insurance responses and a surgery date. She said I may even get sick and stop eating and lose a little weight once I get my surgery date and am waiting on the day. I say, that I am going to be relieved once I get my date. I am going to have a party 2 weeks before my surgery, to celebrate my potential weight loss with my friends. Also to let them see me, for the last time, @ 346lbs. The next time they see me, after the party I will possibly be 100lbs lighter. Well, I will see you later and I will give you my update as to my consults. TTFN (Ta-Ta 4 now)
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April 2005

blog layout April 2005

~~Happy Birthday to my Mother 55 yrs.Young
and my Daughter Makyerah 3 yrs. older~~



4/03/2005
Hi,
I went for my consult on yesterday, and I have to have a doppler study, to make sure that I do not have a clot in my right leg. I have had problems with it for the past 3 years. It has a lot of swelling in the ankle and calf, but I was told that my lymphatic system in that leg does not work anymore, so this may pose a problem. They say that even if I do lose the weight that my leg may still swell, but that is a chance that I am willing to take at this point. I think that it is swelling do to my blood pressure and I am retaining a lot of water. Well, we will see how it goes after the doppler study. I also have to have a sleep study to make sure I do not have sleep apnea and a swallow test to make sure that my food goes down smoothly. Hey, you'd think that food goes down VERY well since I am so FAT, but I have to go along with procedures. Well after I get all these test done and have my Psych evaluation, I am looking at having my surgery before my birthdate, if all is well. Wish me luck....and until we meet again....
May the LORD GOD bless you real good.
P.s I spoke to my friend Marcie on Friday and she is now 3 years into her surgery and she wears a size 10 now. She has never been a size 10 not even at the age of ten. I can't wait to see how she looks this june. She is getting Married and I am so happy for her. Hey in 2002, she was weighing in at 350lbs and a size 30W and now she is a size 10 I know she feels great. I am glad that she can be my mentor at this time, cause I am really going to need it. I am going to try now and stop eating some of the fattening foods that I eat, because once I have this surgery, it no more for me anyway. So it is better to cut back now, than to go cold turkey after the surgery. well TTFN (Ta-Ta for now)


4/10/2005
I am a little frustrated at this time. My PCP is taking her sweet timein generating a support letter for my insurace company. I called the insurance company and was told that they would pay for the surgery, but I had to have a letter for my PCP that supports me and says that I am a good candidate for the surgery. If I can get her to do that QUICKLY, get it to the surgeons and they in turn get it to the insurace company, along with their findings, I can have my surgery before my birthday in August. I would really like to have it by then. If not in August, I don't want to have the surgery until January 2006. Hey It will be the holidays after August, so If I do not have the surgery, I want to enjoy the holidays and not be recoverying during the holidays. And it is bad to say that I want to eat the foods just one more time before they have to go for good. Not to much to ask, HUH. At any rate, I am scheduling my sleep study, EKG, swallow test and doppler study this week so if there is a wait I can be in line for a date, and hope it is sometime this month or early May. Well, wish me luck, because things are going faster than I thought they would and things are looking very GOOD for me. So until we meet again, GOD BLESS.
P.s. My baby is turning 3 years old on Wednesday, April 13th, and I wanted to say Happy Birthday to her, because she could have been dead on Oct. 28, 2002 at the age of 6 months. She swallowed the cap from her diaper rash ointment, and was choking. I am a Medical Assistant and I know CPR and that is the only thing that saved her life and now she is turning 3. Happy Birthday Makyerah;)
I love you and I am making this change in my life for ME and YOU.


4/13/2005

Yipeeee, I am another step closer to my surgery. I got a copy of the support letter from my PCP in the mail today and it sounds great. She included all the diet regimens that I have tried in the past and a all the reasons that I should have the surgery. Hey, If I was the insurance company, I would approve the surgery after this letter. Well, I can schedule all the necessary test that I need now. I decided to wait until I got the support letter, just in case my PCP did not feel that I was a candidate. So now that I know she is on the same page as I am, I am going to jump the gun and schedule these test and hopefully have the result, but my next consult. So, now all I have to do is wait for the nurse to call me to schedule my next consult. Even if I have not had the necessary test done, at the least I want to have them scheduled, so that the nurse and surgeon will know that I am not playing and I want this surgery like yesterday. So until we meet again,
STAY BLESSED because I know that I am blessed.


4/21/2005
Hi,
Just wanted to catch up on some things that have happened since I last checked in. I have not spoken with my nurse and I am dying to know what the next step will be. I am trying to be really patient and it is making me go mad. I am so ready for this surgery, that I can taste it, but I have to relax, because if I don't I will be going in for my psych consult sooner than I think. Well, I am going to go now and try to stay calm and wait.
Until next time....May the lord GOD bless you real good



4/24/2005
WLS Scare
This is not a update, but more of a finding. I was here at the obesityhelp web site, searching for some information on the vitamin and mineral supplements that we will need after surgery and I clicked onto a website that disclosed names of people belonging to this site that have passed away. Not all passed away from complications of surgery, some of car accidents and some from other surgeries that they underwent. BUT the point is that they are not here to enjoy and live the life as a smaller person or the way they had planned. Granted that death is a risk factor of this surgery, BUT having it on the obesityhelp website, DOES NOT HELP. I really wanted this surgery, to help me to live a better life with my kids and to stop the aches and pains of obesity, but am I willing to die and leave my children and family, just to relieve the aches, pains and to look good in that once a size 30W but now a size 10 black dress. I am 348lbs, and I feel DAMN good about myself, and I thought that this would be the right thing for me, and would make me feel even better about myself, But obesityhelp is not helping when people like me, come across things like that list. That list has really given me second, third, fourth, and fifth thoughts. I am so scared now that I am shaking. After talking to the doctor, I was not as nervous as I am now after reading the stories of how many of these people tragically died from complications of surgery, and I am not talking about the car accidents and other surgeries. These people died as soon as a day after surgery, and some as late as 3 years. But at this time, I am giving up on this surgery and am going to try it again with diet and exercise. Hey, I am already approved, have had my physician consult, nurse visits and diet consult, but I have to halt this right now. I have to think more and really know that I am will to die and leave my 3 children and my mother behind to wish that I had never had the surgery. At this time, I am not willing to do that. I want to see my grandchildren. So with that, I am saying GOODBYE, to all at obesityhelp.com and I am going to either stay 348lbs, or come back in the future and tell you that I have lost 160lbs by dieting and exercise. I am going to give it more thought and I will be back if I continue on and have the surgery. It is going to take a lot of convincing.
Until then....May you have the best of recovery after your surgery and
MAY THE LORD GOD BLESS YOU REAL GOOD. BYE


4/26/2005
WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!
Hello,
Yes I am back sooner than I thought. In my previous entry, I said that I was giving up my quest to have the gastric bypass and since that entry I have been doing a lot of thinking. After writing that, I was immediately convicted by GOD. I realized that I was not using my faith in GOD to help me through the pre-surgery. I let the devil get to me and tell me that I was going to be just like those people and die from the surgery. But I had to realize that GOD was on my side and that I should hold on and keep the faith and continue my quest to a healthier life. And another thing that made me think was the chest pain that I was having in the wee hours of the morning. I found myself at the local emergency room with chest pain at 2 am yesterday. They did blood work, EKG, and chest x-rays, which were all normal. With my praying and the grace of GOD it was nothing but atypical chest pain that can come from a variety of things, and the number one thing that the doctor told me, was I need to lose weight. I also found out in the ER that I have diabetes. Funny how it goes, but my mother was diagnosed with diabetes and High blood pressure on april 13th, and now me. In that hospital bed, I decided to keep with my quest for the gastric bypass, because if I don't I am going to have more medicine to take and most likely get FATTER, and die. I don't want to die. So with that, I have another nurse visit on 5/11. On 5/2 I visit Dr. Olsen, internist, for a complete physical, and on 6/1, I have my Psyc consult. After these, I meet with the surgeon again and will get a date for surgery. I have never been so excited in my life. I think that is why I am having the chest pain, due to anxiety. It really looks like I am going to have surgery before my Birthday 8/24, and that will be great. I will be back on May 2, to let you know how everything went at the internist. So until then...TTFN....Ta-Ta for now
God Bless

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March 2005

March 2005
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A MINOR SETBACK
3/19/2005

Hi,
I had a minor set back with my surgery progress. I did not make it to my meeting on 3/12/05, to get the packet they give with the information and forms for history and physical. BUT, the next meeting is scheduled for April 2nd and I am going to make that meeting if it kills me. I have not lost any weight at all, but I have not gained any either. I went shopping today, to get a dress for easter and I picked up my usual size and had to get a larger size to fit comfortably, and this made me MAD! But this is the first time that I have went shopping for a dress. My weight is the same but NONE of my clothes fit at this point. I am so disgusted with myself I can cry everytime I look in the mirror, but I suck it up and know that it will not be long before I can be 200lbs or less and be HAPPY. So until next time I tell you my progress,
STAY BLESSED AND
PRAY FOR ME AS I PRAY FOR MYSELF
and congrats to those whom have lost weight
and those that the weight loss is to come
Love Ya!


3/20/2005

Hi Again,
YES, I am back to update things this soon. I am happy to say that I called my Health Insurance Company, and they WILL pay for the surgery, ONLY, if there is an underlying health problem that can be resolved with the surgery. I have Hypertention (High Blood Pressure), and have had it for the past 2 years and have changed medication twice and am going to the third medication. The medications work, but after so long they began to lose their strength in working for me. This is what my current medication is starting to do. My BP is becoming uncontrolable again, and I was told that after the surgery I may be able to stop taking the meds. So I am SOOOOOO happy that I did not have many problems with my insurance, and I am quite sure that the MD's wont have a problem writing a letter to my insurance company stating this. So wish me luck, and I might have my surgery sooner than I thought.
Until I update again,
may his peace be with you til we meet again.
Love Ya!


3/24/2005

Hello again,
NOT another update, but wanted to say HI. I took some pictures today and will have them developed soon so that I can post them on this website. I have posted another picture (in the Green Suit)that I took some years ago and it is not a reflection of my real weight today, but does show that I have always had problems with my weight. Although, in this older picture that I have posted, I am proud and more confident about myself and my weight. At that time my weight did not bother me like it does today. Could be that I am 100lbs heavier than I was 10 years ago when I took that picture. I am in the process of putting some recent pictures, so hold on for a minute and I will get those to you. OH and I wanted to say that I am registering in a exercise program with CURVES for woman...a fitness center for women only that is the craze in Des Moines, Iowa.
Until next time,
STAY BLESSED


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Ohh Too Begin Again!

blog Layouts 2005
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February 2005
IT ALL RE-STARTED HERE

2/18/2005

I have signed up here at Obesityhelp.com and this, to me, is my first step to losing weight. I learned about this web site, through an employee of Fashion Bug clothing store for women, who used this site for support, and had her surgery done 4 months ago. I have TALKED about having this surgery for the past 2 years, but was to scared, due to the death rate, before, during, and/or after the surgery, that they make sure you hear on the news. Then I started letting the devil work on me. I kept thinking that, after the surgery and the weight loss, I am going to be the same person, just smaller. So if people do not like me now they are not going to like me afterward. But then I thought to myself, that if I had the surgery, I would be doing it to make ME feel better and no one else. So here I am starting over again, and this time I am going to finish this journey to a smaller me. To date I think I weigh 355lbs and this is my heaviest. My goal is to lose 165lbs and with obesityhelp. com, I am going to be 190lbs by my 33rd Birthday in 2006. I will be attending my first meeting to prepare for surgery on Saturday March 12,2005. I will get my information packet and go from there.
Pray for me as I pray for myself.
Until we meet again, GOD BLESS.

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You're Jessica Rabbit!
Jessica Rabbit



Where It All Began For Me!

2004

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February 2004
IT ALL STARTED HERE



I can't remember the exact date, but I went to a seminar @Mercy Capitol's Center for Weight Reduction and I learned MORE about WLS. I had already heard from a good friend about the WLS when she had her's done. I never knew that it was available to common folk like me and I thought that WLS was only for the Rich and Famous or those that could afford it. I was serious about losing weight but I was not serious enough to risk my life, after hearing about the death rate. So I did not pursue that matter of WLS and gave it up for Work and School. But you will see in my next entry, what made me decide to have WLS. Let's fast forward one (1) year.
May the LORD GOD BLESS YOU REAL GOODblog Layouts


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About Me
Altoona, IA
Location
51.4
BMI
Feb 17, 2005
Member Since

Friends 42

Latest Blog 36
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