Reality bites!

Apr 13, 2009

And my reality is that I haven't been trying to lose any more weight (just wishing for it to happen).

This hit me hard yesterday (on Easter).  We were traveling from my in-laws to my parents, and I was complaining.  Basically, I'd like it if no one every said anything about my weight again.  My in-laws are very kind and always tell me how good I'm looking, etc.  That's all wonderful, except it makes me feel like a failure.  I feel like I should be continuing to lose (as I'm only 16 months post-op), so... I graciously accept their comments and then quickly add that I haven't lost anything for months and months (just so they know I still look the same as last time they saw me). 

As I said, I was complaining... I told my DH that I wished they would stop commenting and told him my feelings.  The peanut gallery (my oldest DD) chimed in with "But you haven't been trying!".  How absolutely right she is!  I've been fooling myself thinking that what I've been doing could even be considered 'trying'.  Once the Florida trip was over and I lost a few more pounds, I think I just gave up.  Sure, I exercise (but not faithfully), take my vitamins (most every day), and get in my protein (usually only during the week).  But... I've also been eating lots of carbs and junk food, and I know my portions have grown. 

Today, I'm trying to get my portions back in check and kick the carb habit.  I told DH to hide all of the junk food before I got home (because I obviously don't have enough control to fight it off as I ate a rice krispie treat for breakfast). 

I have been repeating to myself that I can do it (get below 200) if I just put my mind to it and get back to basics! 

Maybe I should try a liquid protein (pre-op) diet...  (yeah right!)

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