grandmaree

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I feel like the Griswalds when they were going to Wally World, all of the obstacles they ran into on their way.  Well, I have finally made it to Onderland, where many of you have been enjoying the ride, luckily for me, unlike the Griswald's, the park was OPEN!!  I didn't think I would ever make it!!  I am so excited!!  Today my stepson is getting married and I had set a mini-goal to be in Onederland by today, but had accepted that fact that it just wasn't going to happen.  It is going to be a GREAT day!!

Okay, I have definitely accepted the fact that I only lose about 1 pound every 3 or 4 days.  This is just going to be the normal for me.  I guess it gives my body time to adjust to the loss and maybe will minimize the loose skin that I may have gotten if I dropped it much more rapidly.  I am just rationalizing with myself.  But, I am very happy that I have lost 57 pounds since October!!
I can't tell you how much, at work, I am hearing the word "skinny".  Which is funny to me, because, on the contrary.....I am still over 200 pounds, hardly skinny!!  But, it does help my motivation and it does make me proud of what I have done so far.  One of the doctors I work with told me yesterday that I had a "twinkle" in my eye, and he commented how skinny my face and neck were now.  It is these comments that keep me going, and make me happy with my decision.  I knew it was the right thing when I saw my blood sugars back to normal and my husband says I don't snore anymore (the diabetes and sleep apnea are gone!!)
I can sit cross-legged on the floor again.....been years since that happend.  Yesterday I put on a pair of jeans that I haven't worn in years, either.  I have been only wearing stretch-waist pants for at least the past 4 or 5 years.  We will be flying to the Philippines in July and I am pretty confident the seat belts will fit with no problem.  We will also be going to Disneyland and I think riding most of the rides there will be more enjoyable than the last time I went, however, I think I just squeezed my big ole butt onto them anyway the last time!!
My stepson moved in with us a few weeks ago and we have been adjusting to this new addition to our family.  He is a very nice kid (he is 20), got a job at Wal-Mart right away.  But, he is very anxious all the time, paces and walks around alot.  He is bored, but I don't know what to do about it.  He lost his driver's license in New Jersey for a year for not having car insurance, so he is going stir crazy.  I feel bad for him.
My other stepson, who also lives here in Oklahoma, is getting married next weekend, and all of the brothers will be together again for the first time in like 12 years.  So, I am going to set up an appointment for them to get pictures done together, because who knows when this will happen again?
Have a lot of plannning, cleaning, etc.......(my dh's ex-wife will be here, too, and she usually spends time at our house), but I will update later.

Well, I went back to work today, and EVERYONE complimented me!!  Even the ones I didn't want to tell about my surgery (yeah, word got around).  I was called SKINNY (hahahahaha, yeah right!!), but it sure made me feel good when one girl said my face looked wonderful.  It was a good day and I felt really good!!  They were all supportive, and when it was lunch time and they saw how little I was able to eat, a couple of them said "I want this, too!!", hehe.  

It's been awhile since I wrote on my blog, so here we go...........
I am now 6 weeks out from my surgery.  I am going to back to work tomorrow, have really gotten spoiled sleeping in, etc...!!
I feel good, I have more energy, I am working out at the gym at least three times a week.  I have lost 21 pounds since the morning of surgery, 30 pounds since the pre-op diet, and 48 pounds since I started this incredible journey a year ago!!  I have accepted the fact that I don't lose as quickly as others, but am happy as long as the numbers keep going down and don't go back up!!
I am in the learning process of eating out, but so far I haven't had any problems (except that one time at Souper Salad, when I ate too much!!).  I had chinese food with my mother and sisters last weekend with no problems, and my mother and one of my sisters don't know I had this surgery (a long story) and I was able to pull it off without them knowing.  I had several small portions on my plate and picked at them the entire time while everyone was talking, etc.......and then I had some pudding for dessert.....so I don't think they noticed I didn't hardly eat any of my food.  Last night we took my stepson to eat Italian food and the restaurant allowed me to eat off the kids menu and I didn't even eat half of what they brought!!  I love this tool and the restraints it puts on me!!  The great part is I am just now beginning to get to where I just don't think about eating all the time.  In the beginning it seems I thought about it alot, but I guess that is some of the psychological stuff going on, but as time has progressed I am getting to a point where I say to myself "I better eat something".  I don't dump, which I wanted to, but now and kind of grateful that I don't, because I will be able to anything, in moderation.  I was kind of scared of not being able to ever eat my favorite foods again, and that isn't going to happen (unless I develop an intolerance later, which I have heard happens).  We will be moving to the Philippines and I was worried that I wouldn't be able to enjoy the new foods there, but now I am hopeful that I will be able to experience all of them!!  In moderation, of course.
That's it for now, I am taking baby steps, but I am getting there, I think!!

I am 19 days out....down 13 pounds, guess I shouldn't complain, but I still feel like I fall short of others' weight loss at this point.  Experienced my first dumping episode today.....I don't EVER want to experience THAT again!!  I didn't throw up, although I wanted to.  It came out the other way.  I felt horrible, sweaty, palpitations, nauseous, light headed, all the classic symptoms.....had quite a diarrhea bout, laid down, and felt much better in about 2 hours.  I think I just put too much into my tummy too quick and it revolted.  Like I said, I will not do that again.  Glad I experienced it, now I know what it is like.
Go see my surgeon tomorrow, I hope he doesn't get mad at my piddly weight loss and put me back on liquids or somthing.  Feeling pretty good, more energy, which is good.  Have a lot of cleaning do around this house over the next few weeks.  My 20 year old stepson is moving here from New Jersey and will live with us, so we have to make room.  Hoping my doc lets me stay off work until the first of February, because I have so much sick leave and I do pretty labor intensive work.....don't want to push it as long as I have the time.

I am 11 days post-op, 9 pounds down since surgery (not so good, I don't think), 17 pounds down since the liquid diet and 35 pounds down since beginning this journey a year ago.  So, I have really forever lost 35 pounds and I know I shouldn't complain!!
I have been so blessed!!  No complications whatsoever!!  I was so worried about the post op gas pain...none!!  I didn't need pain meds long.  I am driving.  I already have more energy.  I guess the only problem I am having is getting the internal plumbing to work correctly...I am taking stool softeners daily and have had to use glycerin suppositories to get things moving.  But, if that is the worst of it, I will take it.
Went out to eat at Souper Salad today, and I had a couple of small bowls of vegetable beef soup broth (skimmed the broth off the top of the soup) and 4 hours later am still feeling very full!!  It is amazing!!  If I can get this feeling all the time, I can definitely see where I will lose the weight!! I forgot....I had some jello, too.  They didn't have sugar free, so I was a bit nervous, but no dumping...woohoo!!  Anyway, am very happy with my tolerance of foods thus far.  I have not felt the need to throw up at all.
Only 2 more Lovenox shots to go....will be glad not to have to take those anymore.  Just because I forget and find myself up at 1 a.m. giving myself a shot!!
So far...no buyers' remorse....I am very glad I did this!!  I know as I lose weight it will be lost forever this time!!  Even if it is slow, I will try to be grateful and not to get discouraged.

 I had my surgery 2 days ago, and I am home.  Feeling pretty good, but I can definitely tell when the pain medicine wears off.  It isn't unbearable, not much worse than my c-sections.  Everyone is different, though.  Some people say it is completely different from c-section pain, but I didn't experience the gas pain that so many people suffer with.  That was my biggest fear, and the Dear Lord saw to it that I didn't have it!!  Thank you Jesus!!
For anyone reading this who is pre-op, the best advice I can offer is one that you hear from everyone, but WALK, WALK, WALK!!  That truly did make me feel better, although it hurt like crazy the first time, I still took 3 spins around the ICU unit my first time.  And, I didn't stop...I walked alot after that, and just couldn't lay in the bed all day, so either I was up in my room sitting in a chair, or piddling around, walking on the unit....and it really did help!!
I haven't had any nausea thus far, thank goodness for that, too!!  I am finding it hard to get my fluids in, but I am trying very hard.  I know it will get easier with time.  
I came home weighing the same as I did when I checked in....so at least I didn't gain alot in the hospital.  That happens, too, with fluids, etc...you receive.
I don't have a recliner....boy, I wish I did, because I definitely cannot lay down yet.  I will probably sleep on our comfy leather couch in the living room for a few days.
My sweet DH has been wonderful...I love him so much for supporting me through all of this.  I did tell him not to baby me, because I wanted this.  But, he finds it hard not to try to baby me....he is so sweet!!
Well,  Just wanted to update.  Good luck to everyone else!!

 Well, this is the last day of the "Old Me".  Tomorrow I start my life as a new person with new ideas and hopes for myself and my future as far my health is concerned.  I don't remember really ever being a normal weight, so achieving that is a concept I can't seem to grasp.  I pray that I can make it to some sort of "normalcy" as far as my weight goes.  Still feeling pessimistic, I guess, that I will ACTUALLY lose weight!!  So many years of failure at weight loss, I suppose, is what makes me feel this way.  I have the, "I'll believe it when I see it" attitude.  Although I know this tool is going to enable me to do just that!!  I cannot wait to have this surgery and have that hope and the ability to control this part of my life.
I am finally on the last day of the pre op liquied diet, although it will continue after surgery for some time.  At least I am already used to it.  Smart thing my doc does is have us mentally prepare ourselves for 10 days prior to surgery, as to what we will be doing afterwards as far as the post op diet goes.  I have been so good on this diet, and have lost 10 pounds (I know some that lose much more), and I hope it is good enough that my liver has shrunk.  I still have a fear of him looking inside and my liver is still too huge and I wake up in recovery room to, "I'm sorry honey, they couldn't do your surgery".  This is another self-defeating attitude, isn't it?  I hope to get rid of these negative things I say quietly to myself each day. As I lose weight I will practice affirmations......like in the Saturday Night Live episodes, where the guy is looking in the mirror and saying, "I like myself, and by golly, people like me!"  It went something like that....it has been so long since I saw those.
Anyway, I will update my blog when I feel up to it after surgery.

www.my-calorie-counter.com     The webs free Calorie Counter

 Ho Ho Ho!!  Merry Christmas!!  Maybe next year at this time I won't be able to fill out the Santa suit!!!
I have been on the pre-op liquid diet now for 5 days, I am halfway there!!  I have to admit that last night I cooked a honey glazed ham,  fixed little smokies in BBQ sauce, cookies, brownies, cheese, crackers, etc..........and I didn't touch a thing!!  Ohhhhhhhhh, I WANTED to, BADLY....but I didn't!!  I don't want to do anything to jeopardize my surgery on New Year's Eve.  I have come so far.  The liquid diet isn't so bad......it would be easier if it were not Christmas, though.  I feel I am seeing my strength, and determination, and I know I can do this!!  It is hard for me to believe in one week I will have the tool that is actually going to help me through these difficult times.....so, I know if I can do all of this without the tool, then I can definitely succeed once I have it!!  I can't wait!!  So thankful we can have cottage cheese....it is the one thing that gets me through. That and the sugar free puddings.  I have lost 8 pounds on the liquid diet.....I hope I lose at least 10 by surgery!!

 Hello to everyone!!   I am getting ready to start my 10 day pre-op diet in 2 days!!  That means I am very close to surgery!!  I cannot believe it!!  I am full of so many different emotions, and I am sure that is quite normal.  I know this surgery is literally going to save my life, and I am looking forward to finally being able to manage my weight with the tool I am going to receive on New Years' Eve.
I had my nutrition class Wednesday and had my pre-op with Dr. Gornichec.  All went well.  He, once again, went over all my testing results, etc....and I will be having blood work one more time before surgery.  He really talked about how helpful the filter is and now I am leaning towards getting one.  I just don't know when I would do it, it would mean missing another day of work, which I cannot do at this time of year.  I have the day off before my surgery, but I don't know if that is too near my surgery to get the filter.  I have my 10 days of Lovenox already, and that may just have to be good enough.
Will update once I start my liquid diet!!