Amy H.
Surgery, Finally
May 24, 2009
So I finally had my surgery as of May 11. All went well for me and now I am two weeks post op and doing well. The diet is tough some days, but I do alright. I've lost 26 pounds since surgery and am very happy about that. Don't really know what else to say except that I'm really glad I did it, and I look forward to seeing more results!
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9 Days To Wait
May 02, 2009
It's crazy to think that I have a mere nine days left until I'm having surgery! I can't believe it's getting so close. I'm looking so forward to it. The only thing right now is trying to get through finals and moving while being on this shake diet. It'll all be worth it but it is challenging. I miss food but I think being smaller, healthier, and happier will feel so much better than any burger and fries I could get. I can't wait!!
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Finally!
Apr 02, 2009
I have a date for my surgery! I will be having gastric bypass on May 11th!! I'm so excited and it is only five weeks and three days away. It's really going to happen and I can quit hoping because it's real. Yay!! I can't wait!!
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Waiting
Mar 25, 2009
It is almost April and I am still working with insurance and unsure if I will get to have the surgery. I've been waiting and hoping for so long that my hope seems to be fading a bit. BUT something will work out. I have six weeks left of school and am on my spring break right now. It's nice to be home for a bit, especially since I haven't been hear since January. I don't really come home during the semester while I'm at school. I'm finally about to finish my third year. It's amazing how time flys by. I am not looking at grad school and all of that wonderfulness. I really want to just get out into the classroom and teach but I think it will be better for me to get my masters degree while I am still used to being in student mode. I think once I finally get out, I won't want to go back!
I got my hair cut this week. So cute! I haven't had my hair this short in a while. It was longer than halfway down my back and now it's shoulder length. It's fun. New do for a new year. My 21st birthday is next month and I am so hoping that by my birthday, I'll have a surgery date. I can't wait for them to tell me I've been approved and when my surgery will be. It's amazing how excited a person can get about the prospect of having surgery. Seems like surgery would be one of those things you avoid at all costs but this one is exciting and ever so worth it.
Hope to be joining the losers bench soon!!
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I got my hair cut this week. So cute! I haven't had my hair this short in a while. It was longer than halfway down my back and now it's shoulder length. It's fun. New do for a new year. My 21st birthday is next month and I am so hoping that by my birthday, I'll have a surgery date. I can't wait for them to tell me I've been approved and when my surgery will be. It's amazing how excited a person can get about the prospect of having surgery. Seems like surgery would be one of those things you avoid at all costs but this one is exciting and ever so worth it.
Hope to be joining the losers bench soon!!
Patience and Hope
Feb 21, 2009
Patience is something I've never claimed to have much of. But lately I've had to develop more. I am desperately trying to remain hopefully that my insurance will approve me for surgery. My biggest fear isn't having the surgery; it's not having the surgery. If my insurance doesn't come through, I don't know that I'll ever be able to have the surgery, and therefore never be able to get this weight off. I'm so afraid on postponement because I'm afraid of gaining more weight. As much as I try to eat the right foods and exercise more, I continue to stumble. It's so incredible frustrating. No one in my family has had to deal with obesity in the way that I have. I've never known what it was like to even be somewhat "normal" in my weight. I'm only a couple months shy of being 21. I'm afraid of getting sick. So far I've been exceptionally fortunate with my health. I rarely get sick. But I know what's coming or at the very least what could come if things don't change. My good health fortune isn't likely to hold out forever. My hope is beginning to run out a little. I'm beginning to doubt that insurance will approve me. It's sad when you almost need to be sick in order to prevent getting ill. For now I suppose I'll have to just hope things come through. And hopefully it won't take too long to find out. Hopefully....
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Rough and Tumble
Jan 20, 2009
Well it's been two weeks since my last post. Seems like longer. I'm back in school and my life is in crazy gear. I look around and I know that I'm blessed but there are days like today where all I feel is jealous. Jealous of others having what I've always longed for. Jealous of little blessings "normal" people don't even think about, like sitting in a chair and fitting or not having to hope that it won't break because you're too heavy for it, not avoiding the movies because you know those theatre seats were made for only the anorexic model types, trying to slide by someone or a desk and pushing it with your butt because you can't fit throught that sliver of space. Today I did get to enjoy one of those little, typically unnoticed blessings; I got an oversized hoodie. That may not seem like much, but to a college student who weighs well over 300 lbs., that's a huge feat! Granted it came from the men's big and tall section, I didn't think I'd ever get to have an oversized hoodie until I could buy it from the freakin juniors department. Sometimes I feel clothing designers are punishing those who are overweight. It's like "oh you have more that the skin and bones I clothe for fashion shows, well then I'll just sew together two ugly rectangles and leave a couple holes in it for you. And I swear if I see another belt around the so assumed waist of a plus size shirt, I'm gonna hit the manniquin! Maybe it's just the way I'm shaped but that has got to be one of the most insulting jokes designers have done. Every time I see those I just think "right... what crack were they smoking when they designed that one!" Don't get me wrong, the style is cute. I just haven't seen very many me-sized plus sizes that that would flatter. But I'm open to being proven wrong.
I'm ranting tonight because I'm frustrated and it's been a tough day, but all in all as much as life keeps throwing at me, I'm still hopeful. The prospect of my surgery is the only thing giving me hope these days that things in my life will someday change. Someday people will see me and not the weight. Someday I'll see me and not the weight. Right now I'm so consumed with fixing the weight that it stays at the constant forefront of my mind. So when I look in a mirror that's almost all I see. Progress is slow but it's being made. As long as my steps are forward and not backwards, I'll be ok. Just got to keep hanging in there for now.
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I'm ranting tonight because I'm frustrated and it's been a tough day, but all in all as much as life keeps throwing at me, I'm still hopeful. The prospect of my surgery is the only thing giving me hope these days that things in my life will someday change. Someday people will see me and not the weight. Someday I'll see me and not the weight. Right now I'm so consumed with fixing the weight that it stays at the constant forefront of my mind. So when I look in a mirror that's almost all I see. Progress is slow but it's being made. As long as my steps are forward and not backwards, I'll be ok. Just got to keep hanging in there for now.
New Year, New Lease
Jan 06, 2009
So this is the year. I'm exceedingly excited about my prospect of having gastric bypass surgery this year. I'm 20 and have been overweight all of my life, and I can sum the experience up in two words... it sucks. But I am so happy that this will be the year that my life can change. This may be the year I get to start over again and do things my way. I have two years left of college before I will be out in the "real world," as so many refer to it, on my own. I want my life back. Now weighing over 300 pounds, the only comfort I have when I go out is that I know no one will try to kidnap me because they will hit the ground before I will. In school as a kid the only threat I could use was to tell them I would sit on them. I don't want that life anymore. I want to have confidence and pride in myself for the outside as well as the inside. I'm a happy person generally but people mostly only see the weight. I want them to see me, and I want to see me for who I've always imagined I would be at this point in my life.
Excited is all I can be about this year and my surgery. Sure some of it makes me a little nervous but I know it will all be totally and completely worth it in the end. And I couldn't be happier. Right now I just have this hope that insurance will pull through and I will be able to have my surgery in the spring. I have a God-confidence about it which I have only experienced a couple of times before: when I found the Lord, and when I decided where I was going to college. (The college thing sounds like no big deal to most people but the school I attend costs over $20,000 a year and I'm there on scholastic scholarships alone. I'm so NOT rich.
) I feel deep in my heart that God will work this out. I want it more than anything else in my life. I'm a blessed woman and this surgery, this new life I'm going to embark on, will only add to that.
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Excited is all I can be about this year and my surgery. Sure some of it makes me a little nervous but I know it will all be totally and completely worth it in the end. And I couldn't be happier. Right now I just have this hope that insurance will pull through and I will be able to have my surgery in the spring. I have a God-confidence about it which I have only experienced a couple of times before: when I found the Lord, and when I decided where I was going to college. (The college thing sounds like no big deal to most people but the school I attend costs over $20,000 a year and I'm there on scholastic scholarships alone. I'm so NOT rich.
) I feel deep in my heart that God will work this out. I want it more than anything else in my life. I'm a blessed woman and this surgery, this new life I'm going to embark on, will only add to that. About Me
Batesville, AR
Location
41.8
BMI
Surgery
05/11/2009
Surgery Date
Dec 11, 2008
Member Since
