Sparkly Crystal Poo? WTF.

Jul 01, 2014

So just now, water going down the wrong tube turned into having to cough which felt like someone trying to rip me apart at the seams.  I have my first post-op meeting with my surgeon today and I get to tell him about a whole slew of fun problems that have been cropping up in the last day and a half. Let me illuminate you all.

One- yesterday when I pooped, there were CRYSTALS in it. Like, no joke, kosher table salt looking crystals. Clear, in a range of sizes, no bigger than a typical granule of sea salt. I managed to save some (, I know) to show them, which is good because since about 9pm I haven't had another BM, just lots of gas. (I wonder if it was because of that damned Cream of Wheat that I tried in the morning?  Infernal hell food, that Cream of Wheat.) I called the Nurse hotline at my hospital and she was completely at a loss, and I scoured the web and I can't find much about crystals in poo, so hopefully they can help figure out that crazy crap (literally). 

Two- I *think* I have some sciatica happening in my left leg, because there's a dull ache behind my knee and sometimes straight up behind my thigh, but only when I'm sitting down. It's fine when I'm on my side in bed, or standing up, there's no swelling or discoloration or warmth that usually goes with a blood clot, and I have a range of back and hip problems. Oh and it started about a week or more prior to surgery. But of course my brain is worried it's a damn blood clot and that if I don't do something about it I'll die. Blargh. 

Three- above my belly button, when I bend over even just slightly, I feel this poking, sort of movement or something in there.  I tell myself my insides have all been rearranged so there's bound to be some settling or wriggling of the new tiny pouch as it gets pressed against other things when I move, but it's SO. WEIRD. FEELING.  It's like there's a little alien in there and he's going to burst forth when he gets a little bigger. 

This is the stuff they didn't warn me about. This is the stuff I'm worried about. Sparkly Crystal Poo? Am I a fairy now? If so, where's my wish granting wand? I just hope they can soothe away my fears and this is all more or less normal and I don't suddenly have Celiac disease or a hernia or blood clot or all three. I just want to get healed and get better and remember why I did this to myself. 

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