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3/29/08-

Okay, I survived it!
I found out several things along the way: The 4th day is the hardest, I don't like Tuna fish, I still have willpower, and I had strayed sooo far from the program it's not funny!

So....did I stick toit 100%? No, I drifted on the 4th and 5th day. I am proud that I survived the 1st 3 days without cheating!
Not proud that a Birthday Party at work on Thursday tested my willpower when it came to Chocolate Cake. No, I didn't have a slice. I had some crumbs and boy, do I feel CRUMMY about that! HAHA! Okay, no big deal.

On Friday, I did have a slice! UGH! I discovered I have willpower, just not lasting willpower when it comes to Homemade Chocolate cake with a chocolate glaze! So this was my ONLY transgressions!

Now, the BIG question....Did I lose weight? No, I stayed exactly the same! 143.
Am I disappointed? Yes, of course. Am I gonna continue eating the way I was prior to the test?
No, I have learned a valuable lesson. I have a tool that CAN work as long as I follow the rules!
I am now MORE aware of slider foods and how much I was eating! ALOT!
I am happy that I completed the 5 day pouch test and it did what I wanted it to do.....discover how much liquids, soft protein, and hard protein my pouch could hold, which is 1 1/2 to 2 cups. Not bad after 2 1/2 years!

Today is a new day. It is the day that I am determined to be the beginning of getting back to basics and controling my slider food issue! Bye Bye Cheez-its and popcorn! Hello Protein shakes and yougurt!

Good luck to you on you're journey! 

3/22/2009-

Okay, tomorrow I am starting the 5 day pouch test! I think after two and a half years...it is time to go back to basics!
I have strayed from the pouch rules and now am ready to get back on track!

I can't tell you how much my life has changed and also stayed the same since having WLS.
I still have the same emotional eating problems, but also I have the strength to know when I need to regroup and start again. Now is one of those moments for me!

I got on the scale today and it said 143. My goal has always been 131.
I initially got down to 118 and that was too small. I looked sick and plenty of people in my life were worried.
I wasn't because I was in awe and could not believe what had happened to me in such a short amount of time!

I also must say that wen I got on the scale today, I am still happy to see myself as a healthy, energized person.
And I ask myself, isn't that why I did this? Yes, it is. I am proud of myself no matter what! I am no longer 271 lbs and miserable.

Now, I am just like every other woman in the world who has 12 lbs to lose. Am I successful whether or not I attain my goal? The answer is yes, if I control my food cravings and am able to live a healthy, active, fun life. That is the ULTIMATE goal of WLS!

So, to everyone out there.........Let's remember that ULTIMATE goal and not be so hard on ourselves for being HUMAN! 

3/16/2009-
At almost 3 years post-op I'm definitely seeing myself stray from the pouch rules. Why? Because my old eating/emotional issues NEVER went away. This is tough for me to say…I have regained 12 pounds in 8 months!
Yes, it's true. I am only human and I am a former morbidly obese woman with food issues. Okay, I said it. I still don't feel better.   2008 was a rough year for me and NOW 2009 is etting better, but still dicey. What has ALWAYS made me HAPPY? FOOD and lots of it! I wake up each day now with the attitude that today I'll regain control, only to find myself thinking about food all day and eating mindlessly.  I'd love to have the first year back when food was a chore, I wasn't hungry, and I lost weight on a weekly basis.  What went wrong? EVERYTHING. I got comfortable and thought I could eat whatever I wanted and stay slim. WRONG! I have allowed myself to eat more carbs, sweets, snacks, and worse….sodas! I am way OFF track and need to snap out of it. But how do I do that? Only I can control myself. Only I put food in my mouth. I can only exercise so much and now people look up to me to motivate THEM to lose weight & feel great! I am so embarrassed about my bad eating habits and weight gain!   So, I have been scanning the OH boards for the 5 day pouch test. I am preparing myself to start it NEXT Monday. I am going to wean myself off of sodas this week and turn over a new leaf a week from today. I cannot let my food demons win. I want to take control of my life once again and most importantly I DO NOT want to hide my downfall anymore.   I always have said that it takes a village to lose weight and I need my village now more than EVER!     Heather

1/31/2009-

Okay, it's the last day of January and I am already in retrospect. This month has literally flew by.
I started out the new year with hopes of a new me and I am still building up steam towards my goals.

I gave a pep talk to a friend the other day and it did ME a world of good. I listened to myself and am now taking my own advice, I just hope she did too!

In regards to what you may ask.....Losing weight and having  less guilt for minor setbacks.
Becuase any setback is minor unless YOU let it be MAJOR! That is the key of continuing to lose weight....
Not letting you're guilt SABOTAGE you're journey!

My advice to my friend was....Breathe in, breath out and move on. Tomorrow is the day you will NOT fall off the wagon!
Since I am trying to lose some 10-15 pounds, I am taking my own advice ad it is working....I FEEL better already!

Take care and keep steppin towards you're goals!

Heather
 

1/01/09-

2009....What lays in wait? What will happen for me? Will I stick to my resolutions?

Questions that millions will ask themselves today.....including me!

The answer.....Whatever I effort I put into something.....it must be enough to achieve success!
To me, all of my successes have come because of giving 110 % effort, nothing is handed to me.
I made it happen, I made the decisions, I made the sacrifices, and I am now enjoying the fruits of my labors!

Don't get me wrong...I am NOT superhuman or anything like that. I just found the key to my success is determination, self acceptance, and the need to try something new! I hope you find you're keys to success in 2009!

My tips for a healthy lifestyle change:
Don't give up on yourself because you are you're BEST investment! If you fall off the diet and exercise wagon, get back on the next day and vow to do better! We are only human and it s okay to be imperfect at times! You are worth being happy and being successful! Why NOT you? Isn't it you're turn to feel good about yourself? 

I have resolutions like everyone else and plan on cutting late night snacking and curbing my sweet tooth!
Yes, I am only human and still have food issues. Even though I am living a healthy lifestyle overall, I still have food demons  that are always lurking! So, for 2009 I want to continue to feel good about myself and starting today I WILL make better food and snack choices! 

Good luck to you all and have a HEALTHY and HAPPY 2009!

Heather

12/12/08-
Yes. I passed the audition for a certified Jazzercise Instructor!
Not only that! I didn't make any mistakes and ROCKED it!

I drove home last night from the audition thinking...Can this be TRUE!?
Is this REALLY happening to me? I still am in shock today!
Thrilled with my achievement and SUPER PROUD of myself!

Changing my life and deciding to have Gastric bypass surgery is THE BEST decision that I EVER made in 2006. 3 Years ago, I was miserable and bored with life. No chances were taken and no life was being lived.
I just sat and ate. Now, I can't wait for each new day and am living life to the FULLEST! Not only that.......My friends and family are the wind beneath my wings! I am so very blessed to have such love and support!
That is my secret weapon, having people there encouraging and motivating me to LIVE life and to take chances!

Okay, to all the pre ops trying to decide if you should change you're life.......I am no different from you, I am not super human. I just decided that ANYTHING was better than the life I was currently living. I can't believe or would have guessed how wonderful it is to live LIFE again! This is the BEST gift of having weight loss surgery! But KNOW that changing you're UNHEALTHY lifestyle into a HEALTHY lifestyle is CRUCIAL to you're success!
 
Much Love,
Heather

12/07/08-

Okay, Racheal Ray stood me up in November. Oh well. I guess I have been stood up by worse! Ha! Of course, there will be another contest next year and I will try out again. So on to the next project! If you know me, you know I am ALWAYS up to something!

I am counting down the days until my audition to become a Jazzercise Instructor....4 days! I am nervous, excited, and freaked! On friday I will either be a certified instructor and be EXPECTED to teach class or I will be preparing to try out again in March! Oh, yes........I am not easily deterred. I guess that is the Scorpio in me.....I don't stop until I succeed, no matter what. So, today is a practice session in Dallas and I am looking forward to meeting the other trainees and most importantly, the judges!

Wish me luck!

11/13/2008- Well, sort of....

Yesterday was my 40th birthday and I had the best day EVER!

I realized the best part about birthdays....Friends and Loved ones celebrate you're life, not just you're number. I felt loved and cherished by so many people in my life the last few days that the number really didn't matter as much. Mind you, I am NOT thrilled to be in my 40's but I am comfortable in my skin and loved by many.

So what's not to be happy about? I am relatively young, very healthy, and very blessed. Life is not good, Life is GREAT!

H

9/24/08-

I entered a contest called "Hey, can you cook" and had to make a video of me cooking my favorite recipe, one that defines me. I wracked my brain, I thought and thought, until I came up with the perfect recipe!
Guiltless, Pastaless Turkey Lasagna....
Sounds gross you say....Well, let me say this....Healthy food isn't necessarily seaweed and tofu! It can be tasty, flavorful, and satisfying!Why do we like good old fashioned lasagna? To feel satisified, comforted, and have a taste of home!  What if there was a way to have that same feeling but without the fat and calories? How about having that same feeling with good protein, great taste, and nutrients that fuel our bodies? Sounds good right? Well, that is my goal in life after WLS! This recipe has ALL of the above and I have a whole collection of similiar recipes that I have created to keep me happy, healthy, and guilt free!

Tips for a Healthy Post Op Lifestyle:

1. We were given a second chance to correct our eating habits with this beautiful gift: Make the choice to "Eat to Live and NOT Live to Eat"!

2. Make good choices in meal planning. We only have a 3 MEALS and 2 SNACKS a day to make sure our meals contain all the nutrients, protein, and dairy that our bodies need to thrive. My main reason to do this is to FEEL normal, to FEEL invigorated, to FEEL healthy. It is so easy to fall back into old habits and neglect our health. Don't do it, YOU are the only person it hurts!

3. Autumn and Winter is on it's way and so is cold & flu season. The fitter & healthier you are, the less likely you are to sickness and ill health.

4. Autumn is a perfect time to clean out you're cupboards, fridge, and bring out the crockpot! It is time to visit the Farmers Markets, enjoy the fruits and veggies of the season and get creative with soups and stews!

5. Before Daylight savings time decreases our daylight hours, take walks in the evening...It is a perfect time to enjoy the weather. When daylight savings time comes into effect,  take a walk during you're lunch hour, expose yourself to as much sunlight as possible! This simple act will aid in you're wellness and mood during the winter months. 

6. Watch less TV. Use the time to do things that you CLAIM you do not have time for, such as healthy meal planning, cooking fresh food and organizing yourself for the next day! These things are GREAT stress relievers!

Good luck on you're journey and I am here for you if you need me!

H

8/29/2008- Well, I am still maintaining. I now weigh 131 and can't seem to move that number on the scale! Don't get me wrong I am thrilled with my success and love that I have a healthy body! I feel fantastic! It's just that I was 118 earlier in the year. My nutritionist said I would level out at a weight and pretty much stay there. For the last 3 months, it's been 131. It scares me to gain weight now. Old habits die hard! 
 
I saw my counselor last week and she advised me that I was still in recovery from my emotional eating issue. She reminded me that there is more to having the surgery than the act itself. The drastic changes to my body, my life, and my diet require me to seek ways to deal with the issues that arise on a daily basis and boy, do they! 

My food issues are still there and they torment me when I stressed or emotional. The weight might be gone but the bad food behavior is still there. Fortunately for me, I eat very healthy everyday....My body craves fresh fruit, veggies, and lean meats. But, I still fight the desire to eat "bad" foods when I feel emotional or stressed out. Therefore, my counselor advised me that I still need to attend support group meetings with other gastric bypass patients and she is right! I do! She encouraged me to play an active part in my recovery from food addiction. Unlike other addicted people, I must have food to live, therefore, this addiction is harder to correct. 

My new motto............"Eat to Live, Not Live to Eat"

H