My goal is in sight!

May 09, 2009

Ten pounds left to make it to 135 lbs!    I got off track earlier this year and was not writing down what I was eating.  May 1st I started using fitday.com and the DietMinder journal by Memory Minder Journals.  Both have done the trick.  I really see how what I eat affects me.  I also kicked up the exercise and am leaving the boyfriend in the dust when we do our walks/run/rides.  He's not upset as he has lost weight and gained muscle also and is really happy that he is also getting healthy.

I still have a difficult time knowing what size I am and I'm suffering from some body dismorphia.  I look at myself in the mirror and don't see a small person.  I know I'm a lot smaller than when I started out but I cannot believe it when I go to buy pants and a size 8 fits.  Or I put on a medium top and its huge.  I don't see myself as a small person.  I still have the dunlop (what I call my gut).  Don't get me wrong, I got really excited when I was able to start wearing size 8s and small tops.  I was practically beaming in the store and grabbed the boyfriend to show him the tag.  Its just that I don't know what I look like.  I keep looking for people to compare myself to and I know that's a bad thing to do.

We are heading to Florida next week.  A few days in Daytona on the beach and then a couple at Disney.  I was able to buy a junior size tankini and am looking forward to being comfortable walking on the beach and not thinking people are staring at me cause I'm huge.  I also know Disney will be fun (my first trip) cause I'll be able to walk without my feet hurting and I will fit into every ride they have.
 

0 Comments