Jeanie

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3-07-05 .. Down another pound to 218. Hey, isn't this what I was doing *before* this tight-ass fill? One lb every couple of weeks? *&^%#@! Oh well. At least I'm back on the exercise horse now. Yesterday was Measurement Day, and some were up, some down. Meh. At least they weren't all up or the same .. I can blame lack of exercise, I guess. But I'm back at it, back at the water, and keeping within fat/calorie ranges. In short, I'm back to pre-tight-fill ways, with no tight-fill payoff! Well, there WAS that two weeks when I lost a ton. I am not complaining!

2-21-05 .. Down another pound to 219. Guess the dramatic droppage has come to an end, but hey. It's still dropping. I realized I had to start working out again if I want my metabolism to continue to be revved up high. I started again this morning, and after 3 weeks of not exercising, it felt great. I'ma gonna be sore tomorrow! :)

2-18-05. Meh. That is all. :/

02-15-05 .. I just have to pop on and tell the world what my sweetest did for me yesterday. We don't "do" Valentine's like a lot of couples do, with the candy and the flowers etc .. we recognize it other ways. So last night, I walk in the door to cooking smells .. he is COOKING ME SUPPER. Now, this in and of itself is a treat .. Kelsey is a marvelous, inventive cook .. but HE IS ON LIQUIDS. He cooked me baked chicken with chili mangos, green beans with ginger and garlic, and scalloped potatoes with onions and mushrooms. While ON LIQUIDS. Knowing he couldn't have any. Could I love him more? ... mmm ... don't think so. :)

2-14-05. Happy Valentine's Day! :) I usually make Kelsey a cheesecake on VDay, but this time I bought him some cheesecake pudding.

I'm down to 220 .. a big old Whoo Hoo! for me! I love this fill. I am (I think) at 2.8 cc, which is evidently perfect. It has loosened some from what it was, and I can eat a few bites and get nice and full, and stay that way for hours. I hope I don't lose any fill or any restriction. I know it is likely, but I hope it's a long way off. Kelsey's down 14 lb already!

We had such a crappy weekend (the car is dead) that it was kind of hard to enjoy the loss. Also, with all the stress, I found ye olde head demons are still there waiting to pounce. We are close to broke, what with Kelsey off work w/o pay and me having to take days w/o pay as well, and with my tight fill and his liquid stage, we aren't really eating. That's good on the pocketbook, but apparently still bad on the psyche. Dealing with my nephew and the car and assorted BS this weekend, all I wanted was a big old decadent foodrageous binge. I had no choice but to resist, and I *hope* I would have had I had the choice, but I don't know. Kelsey asked me what I wanted when I told him this, and I confessed I didn't know. Anything greasy and saucy and sinful would have done. ** sigh ** I am not as far along as I thought, I guess.

I haven't worked out for two weeks now, what with one thing and another (surgery, being out of town, general fatigue). I was sick all weekend, and didn't really want to over-exert this morning. If I feel better tomorrow, it's back on the treadmill. I am looking strangely forward to it at the same time I dread it. I will never be normal; MY idea of normal, anyway. I guess abnormality is what's normal for me. :/

One great thing did happen last week .. Kelsey and I went to my old office to see my co-workers that I haven't seen since way before surgery. It was a Dream Come True. You know how, when you are fat and without a hope of losing weight, you have those fantasies about how you will one day unveil your new slim self and everyone will OOH and AAH .. well, it was kind of like that. I realize I still have a ways to go .. 85 lb, to be exact, but it was soooo nice to receive validation from those who knew me before. I still can't really *see* it, but they did and a dozen people can't be wrong! (((Hugs))) to the Alexandria crew. They have no idea how much that visit meant to me.

2-08-05 .. What A Ride. We are back and Kelsey is Banded! Yay! Full details may be found in his profile. Let's just say, whew. Neither of us will ever, EVAH schedule a procedure in New Orleans during Mardi Gras week again. We had to have been crazy. We do have about 25 lb of assorted Mardi Gras trinkets to show for it, though!

I got another fill on 2-03, and it is a mutha. I am tight as the proverbial drum, and can just now get water and solids down w/o pain or pooling. It's great! I have lost 7 lb in a week. I have a tendency to lose fill, so I think I will hang onto it until Friday at least, and have a talk w/Dr. Martin about it.

Sometime last week, at the hospital, I hit the Century mark. I am now down 104.5 lb! That's my third mini-goal met, and MAN does it feel great. Quite a way to mark that particular milestone, during Kelsey's Banding. Now I get to have my teeth whitened!! Yay!!

1-31-05 .. Back from New Orleans and signing consents .. I am at 229.5! Wowsa! Lowest yet on this journey. We found Touro OK .. got the consents signed no problem .. the trouble is going to be when we go back for surgery tomorrow night. Yes, this is Mardi Gras season. Yes (we found out) there are parades nightly. Yes, Touro is very near the parade route. Whee! It oughta be interesting. We were only able to get rooms in Metairie, which sucks, but we will deal with each issue as it arises. As long as Kelsey comes through this all right, everything else is just details.

I did not do a workout this morning, 'cause I packed my workout gear and weights to take with. I am going to *try* to do a modified liquids fast while Kelsey is on his liquid stage .. we will see how that goes. I don't want to eat in front of him .. I remember that kind of sucked. Plus I'm getting a tiny fill, so I need to take it easy for a couple of days anyway. We shall see!!

1-25-05 .. We didn't do Longleaf Vista; we did the zoo instead .. 2 hours of walking on concrete with nary the rest break!

But the coolest thing that happened this week? KELSEY GOT HIS DATE!!! Yesss! We go sign consents Fri the 28th and his surgery is next Wednesday, 2-02-05.

I am very excited and nervous .. he is very excited and NOT nervous. He doesn't really *do* nerves. Must be nice. I am a bit worried because of the short notice .. he hasn't been on liquids or anything.

I am scared though .. he doesn't have Net access and so has been dependent on me for some of his research and Q & A. I have done my best with this. He chose whether and when to have surgery, and which one. He fought for his choice. He fought to get a date when he needed/wanted it. (With a lot of help from God.) Now the fight is out of his hands. And for a role model, he only has me. I am scared that I have been such a suck-ASS role model for him. I mean, I am out 18 months and have lost a whopping 61 lb. WhoopEE. 3.38 lb per month. Yee haw. I control my eating, I work out, and I get in all my water. OK. I do that right. I also cheated on my pre- and post-op diets, get too full at meals, drink carbonation sometimes, eat sweets and the occassional Cheeto. What kind of Bandster am I? I want better for him! I want his journey to be flawless! I don't want it to be EASY, necessarily; nothing worth having comes easily. But I want it to be worthwhile and I want it to WORK!

Dang, I love him. I am SO proud of him. I so want this to be good for him.

1-21 .. I could move on Tuesday. Then, Wednesday, I bumped up the weight on my Lower Body set, then hard charged Cardio on Thursday. This morning I hit the Upper Body hard again so if there's going to be a day of immobility, it will be tomorrow. And we are planning to go hiking at Longleaf Vista tomorrow, if the weather holds. Hee! Last time we went to LLV was about 3 or 4 years ago, and it was fun. I did the whole hike that time (had to take lots of sitdown breaks) and Kelsey made much of me. I was very proud. This time, I will see how much different it is -96 lb.
Yes, -96, for I am down to 231 and a fraction this week. One more pound of rebound to go. Then I'm heading for that next big goal .. 227 or -100 lb. Can't wait.

1-17-05 .. I bought me some new weights this weekend .. I was tired of doubling up my dumbbells to make new weights! I love the 10 lb ones .. they feel great! I haven't been to "muscle failure" in quite awhile .. my tris didn't know what hit them this morning. It was GREAT. I was toast. Burnt toast. Whew, but it felt great. I hope I can MOVE tomorrow. :)