Overweight & Feeling Sorry for Myself

Oct 19, 2012

I have been a long time gone from OH.  I have been a long time gone from losing weight.  I have been a long time done from onederland. 

I have been living in Sorry for Myselfville.  I am overweight, over stressed, and depressed.  Seriously.  Depression has been kicking my butt and taking names.  I am a sad, fat sack of you know what.

239.1 as of this morning.  MAN!  Admitting that is hard.  Nearly 40 pounds over where I felt most comfortable.  It is so much easier to eat whatever I want, whenever I want to eat it.  It is super hard to get my butt into healthy eating gear and stay there.  I have stretched my pouch.  I would benefit from the 5 day pouch test, but that takes commitment and dedication, neither of which am I capable of right now.

My depression is dehabilitating.  I have been off of work for nearly two months, I just started back this week and I feel like I need to be off again.  But I can't do that to my family.  We literally can't afford for me to be off of work. Not to mention the burden my absense creates at the office.  I have to be here, I just can't mentally do this and my home life.  I have to find a balance.  My balance was being off, and not here, but that isn't an option.

That is what is happening in my world.  Self pity.  Self doubt.  Welcome to it.

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