Corn is the spawn of Satan

Nov 18, 2009

There are a lot of mentions in the DS Forum about what white flour or white rice do to people--but rarely about the evils of corn!!

A couple weeks ago we had a choir brunch, and there were grits. I'm Southern, and y'all know we love our grits. (I posted about that before.) So I had maybe half a cup, and OMG I finally understood what everyone meant when they said they had horrible gas and bloating from white carbs. I had been lucky, you see, and white flour and rice didn't bother me. K, so now I had one white processed carb I couldn't handle, namely grits.

Fastforward to yesterday, when I was trying to break my chocolate habit. Instead of chocolate, I virtuously decided to have about a half cup of Puffins cereal, which is gluten free (feel the virtue vibes?) and whole grain and all that jazz. So about four hours later, I'm sitting in a meeting and the same painful bloating I had a couple weeks ago starts again.

This is not just a slightly uncomfortable, fullish kind of feeling. It's like having about three helium balloons inflated inside you in rapid succession. Cramps, backache, the works.

After racking my brains for anything new I'd eaten, I finally remembered the Puffins. Sure enough, when I consult the box, the first ingredient is corn flour.  So dang it! Corn is on my list of permanently banned food. It just ain't worth the pain (literally). The pain/bloating lasted about 4 or 5 hours, bleah.

I'm going back to chocolate, I swear.

Oh man, I just realized that this means Fritos are off-limits. Oh, that is the suck! I love Fritos as much as I love potato chips, though I haven't eaten either lately. Not that I couldn't eat a potato chip or two theoretically, but I wouldn't stop there, sleeve or no sleeve restriction. I'd snarf down my whole carb daily allotment at once if I let myself eat "just one." Seductive devils.

The one small mercy is that popcorn does not induce the same reaction. Thank heavens!

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