kellybell

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I got my fill!!!! I'm not having much restriction at all. I expected more. Hopefully the next fill will be better. It hurt much more than I expected it to, but I'm cool now.

But best news of all is that I've lost..........28 lbs!!!!!!! I can't even believe how awesome I'm doing with the band. I am soooo happy I did this. I'm not worried anymore that I should have had RNY. I know I made the right choice for myself. It's so exciting.

Wow. I've have more NSV's than actual SV's (lol)  I am down a whole size now, in pants and shirts. People keep telling me that I'm looking hot, and I actually got checked quite a few times when I went out Saturday night! It's awesome!  I zipped a pair of jean that I haven't worn since I was 6 mths preggo (about 6 mths was when i started gaining a lot) 

On the other hand, people are sometimes making nasty comments, like :You need to eat: and "That's not enough food, you're gonna starve yourself." "that's unhealthy" ETC......  It's truly upsetting. And on the flip side, if I have one bad bite that hurts a little going down, or take a tiny sip of water, everyone jumps on me "You shouldn't be doing that" "You need to be more careful" "I told you this surgery was a mistake, you can't even eat like a normal person." 

I was having breakfast with my friend Andrew, and he saw what I was eating (one scrambled egg and a half slice of wheat toast) and said "That's not enough. You need to eat more. You can't live on that." 

I actually wanted to tell him to shut the fuck up. But I didn't. I handled it well. This is something I want to talk to the psychologist about though. It really bothers me, and I get quite upset about it when people make comments.  I feel like they're trying to sabotage my weight loss (subconsiously) or that they think I"m not doing well with the band. 

Frustration.... but looking forward to some more NSVs!!

Ok, so exactally what I was afraid of happened. I went in for the fill, and Dr Tom wouldn't do it because of the stomach virus. I totally understand, and I'm not mad at all. 

I REALLLLLLY wanted the fill though! But he went ahead and told me to come in next week and get the fill. He's not gonna make me wait until my next appointment. That made me really happy.  I can tell I need it.

And the best news of all is that I've lost..........28.6 lbs!!!!!!! I can't even believe how awesome I'm doing with the band. I am soooo happy I did this. I'm not worried anymore that I should have had RNY. I know I made the right choice for myself. It's so exciting.

I bought a few new items of clothing and gave away 2 big bags of too big stuff that I will NEVER fit in again!!!! I told myself I wasn't going to buy clothes, but I can't help buying a few new items since I WORK IN A CLOTHING STORE. Being fashionable is important, and I can't wear clothes that are way too big for me.


I experienced "feedback" for the first time last night. I was eating a chicken quesadilla (which I"ve had before) and halfway through, it just did NOT agree with me. I should have been taking smaller bites and chewing better too...Thank goodness I was at Luke's house picking up nathan, and his bathroom is right near the kitchen, so I had to RUN. If I was at my house, I never would have made it. It was pretty gross. And I got the STUCK feeling which is just awful. It hurts so bad.  Just like when I was pregnant and I got sick, I never wanted to eat that food again--it's the same way with the band. If something hurts or makes me sick, I won't eat it again for a long time, even if I want it. It scares me.

I'm on solids now, and I'm worried that I'm not gonna be making good food choices. It's so hard for me to pack my lunch every day, and there are all the fast food places right in the mall that I could eat. I'm on a kick right now where I don't want to eat at all. Nothing sounds good to me. The stomach virus is almost gone, so I hope that helps. You would think I'd lose a bunch of weight from not eating ONE SINGLE THING for almost 3 days, and even then, barely eating anything. But no. I guess my body was conserving calories incase I was starving, cuz it didn't make me lose ANY weight. NONE. Couldn't there be ONE benefit from being sick for almost an entire week?? I guess not.

OMG. It's 5 am and I can't sleep. I have been so sick all night. I think I might have a stomach virus or something. I don't think it's anything I've eaten, cuz I was feeling so sick yesterday that all I had the whole day was a protein shake for breakfast. I couldn't force myself to eat anything else the whole day. 

I'm supposed to get my first fill today at my appointment, but I'm afraid they're not going to do it if I'm sick or something. I just won't go into GREAT detail about how yucky I've been feeling, cuz I really want the fill. I would NEVER lie  about anything medical, because that could put me at risk for a serious complication, and I just don't have the time, energy, paitence, or money to deal with that. 

I'm thinking I've lost a total of 26 to 28 lbs. My scale was really messed up, so I had to get a new one, and now I'm not sure of excatally where my weight is. I like the new one, but I am REALLY excited about getting weighed at my appointment today. If I have lost less than 26 lbs, I'm gonna be pretty sad. But at least I'll know where I stand then.

I'm gonna try to go back to sleep for an hour or so before my dr appt. I don't know why I would bother, because I haven't been able to sleep all night. ugg

I am sooo bad. I am out of control. I feel like I've eaten all day.  I had (all 4-6 oz portions) low sugar oatmeal, tuna with ranch dressing (2 different times today) cottage cheese, 2 bites of baked chicken (well chewed), and the worst part-- I ate chunks of cheese with tortilla chips! OMG what the hell was I thinking?!?! That could have hurt soooo bad. I did make sure the chips were totally liquid before I swallowed them, but still! I am so stupid. I feel like a beached whale. Really. I feel gross. Not sick at all, but I feel like I used to feel BEFORE my surgery. Even though the amount of food I ate today was prolly less than I would have eaten in one meal pre-op, I still feel like this was a huge step backward (mentally) for me. 

I'm really mad at myself, especially when you also consider that I had a Carmel Frappuchio yesterday. Ok, so it was the smallest one, and I only drank 1/2 of it, but still. I also used a straw, and yes, I did get gas, as gross as that is.

I need to go back to work. When I sit at home all day, all I think about is food. Normally, we would go out, or play outside or go to the park, but my son is sick, so we haven't been doing anything. 

We're going to see his dad tommorow, so at least we'll be out of the house, and then I'm going out with the girls Friday night. I'm really excited. I don't know what I'll be wearing yet. i've lost enought that my stuff is getting loose, but not enough that I fit in smaller stuff, so it'll be fun finding something to wear. 

I gotta get  myself back on the right track. I will NOT fail. I think I need a fill. I have an appointment on the 27th. I hope I can make it until then without eating everything in the fridge.

i have been in a lot of pain the past couple days. I don't exactally know what it's from, but it HURTS. On my left side, above my belly button--feels like someone is stabbing me every few mintues. I'm kinda irritated with my dr office. I called on thursday to ask about it and they transfered me to someone and she was out, so I left a message. She didn't call back. So I called again friday morning, and still no answer. Another message. Called again Friday afternoon, and still no answer, yet ANOTHER message.

But the pain is letting up now. Thank goodness. I was getting worried that there was something really wrong in there. I couldn't even swallow water for a while without getting a bad feeling in my throat and tummy. But it's over now!

I'm taking my son to see his dad tommorrow. I try not to smile when I think about seeing him, but I can't help it. I hope I don't end up falling for him again. He is no good for me. But he's starting to be a great dad, and I think THAT is what I'm liking about him. No one can ever love a child as much as his parents will, and I think that is what is making me think twice about him again. But I know it's a useless point, because no matter what a great dad he may be, he's not right for me. OK---move on GIRL!

GIRLS NIGHT OUT NEXT WEEKEND! Beer Sellar or Jefferson Hall? Or maybe B-List! I can't wait!

O M G.

I just looked on the health insurance website to see if the totals for the surgery came up. 

boy, did they....

Patient

Details

Status

Billed Amount

Applied to Deductible

Paid by Plan

Patient Responsibility

Already Paid

Kelly

Date of Service: 08/20/2007  Thomas Sonnanstine    More Details

In Process

$5,000.00

Kelly

Date of Service: 08/16/2007                        to  08/21/2007  Thoma Sonnanstine    More Details

In Process

$20,132.98

Kelly

Date of Service: 08/16/2007  T Sonnanstine  Medical  More Details

Processed 08/25/2007

$155.00

$0.00

$75.55

$30.00

Paid at Visit    $30.00

Totals for all claims in results

$25,287.98

$0.00

$75.55

$30.00

$30.00

WOW oh WOW. Boy did I get my money's worth out of my health insurance this year. Actually, I did last year too, with the birth/pregnancy of my son, it was over $30,000. Yikes. I'm glad I have insurance.

Ok, so I made it to the 2 week mark. In a few months I'm gonna look back at this entry and laugh about how much of a sissy I was being.

So, I've lost a total of 15 lbs since surgery (18 lbs total from pre-op) and I am super super excited.

Dr. Tom said I am doing great for a band paitent and I am ahead of schedule on my weightloss, which is awesome, since I have so much weight to lose.

Ok, gonna go play with my son, and eat something. I haven't eaten since 11:30 this morning. Bad Kelly!

Ok, so things have been getting much much better. I still have this pretty sharp nagging pain on my left side, above and to the left (my left) of my belly button. It's really the only place I'm having pain besides when I bend over (then the incision by my belly button hurts)

It doesn't help that I am sick with a cold, and every time I cough, the left side starts hurting worse. The only thing that helps is to keep pressure on it (from my hand) and I can't do that all day.

Last night when my brothers girlfriend was helping me give Nathan a bath (the only thing thats still REALLY hard for me) she handed him to me to wrap in a towel, and I almost dropped him from the pain I felt when I lifted him. I basically threw him at her and ran out of the room because I was about to cry. I don't know why that one area would be hurting so bad. I did too much yesterday also, and today too, and I'm really paying the price for it right now. As soon as my son goes to sleep, I'm going to take some pain med.

Other than that, I'm doing really well with the diet. Today I had a carnation instant breakfast with soy milk for breakfast (14 g prt)  and aprox 3 oz of mixed berry lowfat yogurt (3 g protein) for lunch, and I'm about to get something for dinner, but I don't know what yet. Those CIB are pretty good, and I'm tempted to have another one of those, but that would put me nowhere NEAR the protein requirement for the day.

Yesterday, I went out to dinner with my family. I brought a slimfast incase there was nothing else I could get, but they had tomato basil soup. Let me tell you, it was WONDERFUL. But I made a bad mistake. i drank too soon after eating, and booooy, it was hurting soooo bad. It was the first time I felt that really bad-over full- stuffed feeling since I got the band. It was very uncomfortable, and I almost thought I was gonna get sick, but I did my deep breathing, and got over that feeling. But my tummy hurt soo bad. 

I decided to walk around meijer for a while (i needed milk for the baby) and move around until I felt better. It took about 2 hrs, but it finally went away, and I spent $175.00!!!!!!! YIKES! I thought I would SAVE money on food when I had this done, but I spent about triple what I would normally spend. Yikes. I HAVE to take some stuff back. I bought shoes for the baby and a few other non-essential items, but most of it was shampoo, toilet paper, laundry detergent, replacments for the glade plug-in thingys, and food for the baby. Not exactally returnable stuff. Well, anyway, it over and done with, so there's no sense to worry about it now.

ttyl!

Ok, yesterday was a horrible day. It was the first day that I had no help from anyone all day with my son. So, I didn't take any pain meds because I knew they would knock me out, and I would be no good to take care of him. 

I got pretty sick, and didn't hardly eat anything all day because I felt so sick. I did drink a high protein slimfast shake late at night, hoping that would help with my energy level. It's a vicious cycle for me. I feel sick, so I don't eat, and then I get so tired from having no nurtrition that I am to tired to even get up and eat. So finally i FORCED myself to eat some tomato soup with a little protein powder, and then later, the hp shake. I feel way better today,

I had some yogurt today, and a homemade protein/crystal lite popsicle. I feel much much better.

I'm not believing my scale when it tells me I have lost 23 lbs. I think it must be broken. I don't feel like I've lost more than a few lbs, and I didn't measure myself, so i don't know if i have lost any inches. I'm excited for my dr appt on friday so I can get an accurate weight.

Ok, I'm gonna take my son up to my grandma's house and hang out there today. Still in pain, although it's alot less.