Kokonut

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Ok so yeah 2 more days..whew! Time sure has flown...but honestly right now I wish it were going by faster. It's all the little things that are irritating me..like wtf am I going to do with 3 shakes and day and 2 cups of freakin veggies? UGH! My dog weighs 12lbs...I might try to eat her..LOL I better lose as much as she weighs!
 
I have a few friends that know about my surgery and one wants a sushi funeral. I am really going to miss my sushi. I love sushi! My kids love sushi...I hope I can eat sushi again one day.  So Sunday we have the sushi funeral. Tomorrow some of my friends are getting together..you know food will be all over the place...man I am glad it's BEFORE my pre-op and surgery.

When I lost weight in the past it was always easy to keep my portions under control. it was the breastfeeding + PCOS that kicked my ass. I know once I am post-op and onto regular food I will be okay...it's just getting there. I think I may be a bit scrooge like this year. Plus I turn 36 boxing day..nothing special..don't need a party..LOL BUT....maybe some shopping?

My parents will be here for the holidays..my mom makes freakin' awesome food. I mean REALLY AWESOME! She has no idea about this surgery...oy vey..this may go badly..LOL She better not want to feed me to death..LOL Hopefully I will have dropped enough for them to see and then I know they will respect what ever boundaries I set up. They are cool like that..the only reason I have not told them is because the woman will STRESS HERSELF SICK! At 75yrs old momma don't need that worry. I will probably tell her once she is in front of my face. We'll see.

In any case I am less and less stressed and more and more excited. Ask me next week..might change, but this is how I feel now. Thanks to the ladies I met Wednesday. Michelle and Dean...they let me know the worry isn't worth it at all. I have confidence in the surgeons and really..if my time is up, it's up. Ain't nothin' I can do about it....I trust that God is driving this truck..ykwim?

end rant!

Ok so today I meet with my NUT. I have heard she is a tiny little thing and doesn't even look real...LOL Grrrreat! Just what I need and tiny thin midget..telling me what to eat. ROFL! No, really it's not a big deal. I am excited to hear what she is going to tell my about my liquid diet. I am allergic to soybean oil, and the Meditrim is full of it. I hope whatever I get isn't more expensive though...all this stuff is starting to add up. I know it's all for my best, but my poor husband will be having to work overtime to catch up. Boy, do I love that man!!

Ok so after that I am thinking about goals...GOALS! What do I want to have for goals? Well my first goal is to weigh less than my husband. He weighs about 220 at 6'2". Right now I am 265 at 5'10.5. Next goal would be to get to Onederland!! Then next goal is to get to 170-180. I don't know which will work best for me. I am quite muscular, I know I will lose some of that with the lack of food. My body will breakdown muscles for food too...I hope I can get it back quick once I am cleared to work out. my lowest weight I remember is 166 in 10th grade. If I ever see that again I will be on the floor passed out cold!! SERIOUSLY!!

I have yet to tell my parents about my surgery. We have told the oldest kid in the family and will wait til I start the liquid diet to tell the 7 & 9 yr old. The baby is 21 mos, so she wont even care. I hope my milk doesn't dry up too fast or she will be very sad. She sure loves to nurse. I am glad I had to wait for this long to get my surgery. I didn't want to wean her just for this. Now though. since she is approaching 2yr I am comfortable with the weaning that may or may not happen. I
will nurse her til either I have no more milk or she weans herself naturally. That's just what works for us. Only a few people know what I am doing. I need a sitter for the baby so my SIL is watching her. She has known about this since the very beginning. My parents are coming for Christmas..oy..should be interesting. I am sure I will come up with a reason I can't eat all her yummy French Canadian cooking..LOL

I am glad we have this blog available to us. I think I maybe am having a case of the verbal/typed diarrhea!! LOL Better out that in right? Wait..maybe that was gas..??...LOL

I am off to get ready for the appointment! I am excited..and nervous. In fact i have been in a constant state of nervousness since I got my date. Can't wait til it's over and I'm recovering!

Today I went to my family doc for my pre-op check. It went well..I am a healthy fat chick..LOL I continued on my day with a bit of shopping, and having fun conversations with my 21month old daughter. She is a TOTAL riot! Love her!

On the way home from the city I was thinking about my upcoming surgery and thinking how nice it will be to start the New Year off on the right foot.  On my way home since the baby fell asleep in the van I decided to stop by the post office and grab the mail. Lo and behold there was a letter from the Bariatric Doc's Office. CRAP! What did I forget or do wrong? Ugh, please don't let this hold up my surgery!!!

Well I couldn't have been more wrong! It was a letter telling me that my surgery is to be on November 29th!! HOLY CRAP..really?...I read it twice in the van..and then once more at home, then I came here to post about it! SOOOOO THRILLED! I meet with my NUT next week on the 10th and then I guess it won't be long after that that I will start my liquid diet. Yippee...LOL

I had a tiny moment of panic because I need someone to watch my baby girl and all that. I called my best friend..who is also my sister in law(hubbies sis) and she said she would watch her for me. Our girlie's were born the SAME DAY half and hour apart. So they get along pretty well. Hopefully I will only need to stay at the hospital for 3 days..5 might very well make me cuckoo! Once I get home I will have help, so that is another worry off my mind. I am pretty diligent about getting my house work done now and since moving into his house it seems to stay clean longer. We finally have space. The good think is that my house is LONG...so I will be able to do some walking right where I am. :)

I am super excited and glad I get to do this BEFORE the holidays! Since I am in Canada, Thanksgiving is already over and done with..so that is cool. My birthday is boxing day..so shopping might very well be actual fun...we'll see! :)

EEEEEK!...yes I am shrieking like a teenage girl!..LOL My kids are wondering why mommy has cracked?!..LMAO!

Last week Tuesday, I was home minding my own business, puttering around doing laundry and dishes and when I sat down(finally) the phone rang.. UGH! Okay I get up to answer and lo and behold it's the bariatric clinic calling to let me know they have an opening for me!! You could have knocked me over with a feather. I hurriedly took down the info..appointment THURSDAY!

HOLY CRAP!!!

Thursday morning I drop my daughter off with my SIL and drive half an hour to the city where the surgeon's office is. I get there and overhear the receptionist and the surgeon's receptionist talking to each other about me. They then inform me that the doctor has been called away for an emergency and they do not know when he will return. WHAT???!!! As if this is even happening!! UGH! So I decide right there that I am going to wait for an hour. She directs me to a different waiting room. I get in there and pull out my blackberry to keep busy :P I said a little prayer.."if this is meant to be, you will be done Lord." HAHAHA! Apparently the doc showed up shortly after I did! SCORE! There were two patients ahead of me, but I got seen within an hour of my original appointment.

He gave me his spiel on VSG, RNY and Lap band. The lap band is not covered by Manitoba health and I didn't want that anyways. I am a lightweight, so RNY to me is a bit much. So of course I chose the VSG. I do my pre-op stuff with my family doc on Nov 2. Then I meet with the NUT on Nov 10th and typically we get our date for 6-8 weeks after that. So I am guessing I will get my surgery sometime in Jan-Feb next year! HOLY CRAP! To me that is a perfect way to start off a new year..it's the most boring time for me. It's freezing outside and usually when I like to work out and gear up for the upcoming summer. Well this summer should be interesting to say the least.

I am SUPER FREAKIN' excited!! Not sure how to tell my big kids(7 and 9) I'm still nursing the baby(21mos) and I have 17 yr old that my husband and I are guardians for. I will have to tell the 3 oldest, because I will be in the hospital for 3 or so days. I am guessing that the baby will wean by then, but if she doesn't no big deal..cross that bridge when we get there. My husband is very supportive. However he is a bit weirded out that I will be skinny..so am I..LMAO! Anyways..the kids are good secret keepers and I feel VERY strongly about keeping it secret. The people around me just like to meddle too much in a good way, but invariably something gets said in the wrong way and sabotage here we come. I know I will have to get a handle on that. I know I will tell people eventually, I just want to keep it quiet until either I am at goal or very close to it.

NOT going to be telling my mother..she lives 2 provinces away so that shouldn't be a problem. She will still get phone calls..so she wont stress. She will have the surprise of her life when she comes to visit in the summer. HAHAHA! my parents rock, but my mom is a medical worrywart. Not telling hubby's family either. They know I want to lose weight before I have any more babies.

SQUEEEEEEE!!!!*passes out from over excitement* lol

After my last post..you can see I went into a study coma! I ahve been reading everything I could on the VSG. Things like perks, complications..all that fun stuff. I CAN'T WAIT TO GET IT DONE! Of course I am sure I will have a few moments of panic once I get my date. I am finally on the waiting list.

I went to my family doc in February and told her "Listen, I am tired of being fat!" She says" have you tried diet and excercise?" No of course not I ENJOY being fat..JEEZ WOMAN FOR REAL?! I responded, "yes of course!" I did well at it, but I don't want to start yo-yoing all over the place..was never of fan of the "sport". When I decide something I am dead serious about succeeding. This is one of those things. I am done with this old life. I want a change and better health. I want to play with my kids..etc. You all know what I am talking about. She says" well, they want people who have given a good try at losing weight." I'm thinking woman, everytime i decide not to eat that chocolate, cheeseburger..whatever I am giving it a good try. All this being said, she is not super thin herself.. She finally agreed to get me on the list when I said.."going to MEXICO"..LMAO! That got her moving..which works for me, but I would have scrimped and saved up to get my self down there!

There is a program here in Winnipeg that has 3 docs doing RNY and VSG. They sent out a letter to all doctors in the area letting them know that those surgeries would be available in the spring!!..Well I got my papers in there, but then summer hit and the OR times are much shorter. I met one pretty cool lady here on OH that had the SECOND VSG done here. I called and found out that I am not too far down the list..now the patience part of being a patient comes into play. Too bad I SUCK at it..LOL anyways..the woman who had hers already is doing VERY well! I CAN'T FRIGGEN WAIT TIL I AM ON THE LOSER'S BENCH!

Right now my game plan is this:
- get back to working out
- get good with the vitamins
- research protein sources
- uhh...buy cheap smaller clothes(maybe, maybe not, might just run around nekkid for a few months!)
- explain to my big kids WHY I am doing this
-cook a lot of freezable meals for the rest of the family, cuz I'm pretty sure I wont want to cook if I can't eat it anyways..
and last but not least...BUY HUGE AMOUNTS of Costco size meat flats..since we all love our meat over here!

Hopefully once I implement some of these things I drop a bit of weight, my new house is huge and I walk WAY more in here than I did at the old house and having a whole gym in my house will ROCK! Thank GOD for this home!!

Picture this...3 kids..2 brothers..and me. I am married to one of the brothers and the kids are all ours. We are driving in a van to Alberta for Christmas. I am dreading seeing my mom. *sigh* I didn't lose those 20 lbs we talked about. You see the universe conspired against me!!
 
I have PCOS and after I got diagnosed i decided to lose a bunch of weight to get pregnant. It went well. I lost 70 lbs in about a yr. Kept it off for 2 and got preggo...fast forward to summer 09. Baby is six months..and the pounds are not dropping off anymore..they are coming back ON!

Ok so my husband gets into this mode when we have a baby..he renovates. So he moved the whole living room around and stuffed a bunch of stuff in a safe place..you know, that place you put stuff you don;'t want to lose BUT YOU ALWAYS FRIGGEN LOSE IT??!!! yeah..guess what ended p in that place?..The power cord for my bike..LOL So after weeks of searching through box after box and bin after bin, we decided it was time to just order a new one. So we did...took 2 more weeks to get it. I never did get into the swing of things with my 3-4 times a week 7 mile ride. *sigh*

...I digress..ok back the the van. I am sitting in the middle row, at 5'10 265lbs passing stuff to all the people in the van and nursing the baby too. After all the critters(kids , bro-in-law and dog) are all asleep I lean forward to talk to my hubby and say to him " I am so tired of being fat!" He says.."honey you're making a big deal out of nothing". Right like my fat ass not being able tog get in and out of the van without breaking my kneecaps apart isn't a big deal..RIGHT!  I say, "i think the only thing I can do now is get WLS." WHAT?...After I said it I had NO IDEA where it came from. huh?..do I really need it? Hubby calmly responds with "whatever you need honey, you know I support you." I LOVE THAT MAN!  We get to my parents place unload all the stuff and have a good week chillin' eating and opening presents.

After we got home I felt a burning need to start searching out WLS. I had originally thought of that band..then I started reading up what people were saying about their experiences with it. Ahh no thanks I'll pass! I was so very close to booking it in my city..whew. Can't help but feel I dodged a bullet there. So that brings me to OH and the VSG. YAY!

This is my goal..to get sleeved, lose some poundage and have more babies. That may change of course..I am after all 35 and who knows how many more eggs I have rolling around in there? It seems like my pcos symptoms get worse after I have a baby. I do not however gain a ton while pregnant thanks to being eternally nauseous for almost the whole 9 months. I drop the 20 or so pounds within 2 weeks. Hopefully ONE more baby. I like even numbers

I am sick and tired of "waiting" to live my life. I want to play with my kids and not be sore or feel stupid because my butt or gut is sticking out and getting in the way. I want to feel light on my feet like I used to. I want to dance and not look like a "fat girl past her prime" I'm a good dancer..LOL I want to ride my bike with my family and GO PLACES! I want to live a long life to work on my salvation, to be a good example for my kids. To live the life that God gave me..to be his servant and not feel overwhelmed with my huge body.

So yeah I want to get sleeved, YESTERDAY!...Now my biggest need is the money. Our province does not have to much in the way of WLS. I am considered a lightweight too..I now have to be patient while we gather up the money needed for this surgery. I did hear through the Manitoba forums here that the same docs who are doing the band are starting up a VSG trial here. I am going to go bug my family doctor next week and see if she can get me in on it. Might work..who knows.

Oh yeah..MY KNEE STILL HURTS....lol