Lakesidemom

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I had about 80% of my stomach removed at 8:30 in the morning 12 weeks ago.  At this time the night before WLS I couldn't sleep I was so excited.  I did my first Hibiclens shower and just a few short hours later I took yet another Hibiclens "shower" as directed by my surgeon.  I had lost 8 pounds on liquids only for the week preop and didn't cheat for even one second!   Everything I did was specifically directed by the doctor or nutritionist.  I didn't have to make decisions.  I knew the easiest day would be the day of surgery when I'd be managed by the surgical team pre and post operative and no longer wanting to eat because of the drugs and operation.  I wouldn't have to do anything but go with the flow.  The recovery period was a blur and required mental fortitude especially until I could get home and sleep in my own bed again. 

Fast forward to the present.  All the decisions are up to me now.  I am not following a precise path laid out by others - "5 protein shakes" a day, broth, etc.  I get to make many choices.  It is so relaxing to have been making the choices for a long enough period of time that I can predict how much food I can eat comfortably and generally what I will like.   This last week was a milestone in that I hit the halfway point on my tracker! 
  My biggest stalls were at 3 1/2 weeks and 5 weeks.  Ever since the weight has been coming off very steadily.  My goal is to keep my calories around 850 average per day and my protein over 60 grams/day (even better closer to 80).  I need to order some calcium supplements having used up the wrong kind I was advised to get by the nut.  I am proud of myself for always taking my supplements even when I am tired and just want to say "skip it" today - I still get up and go through the motions.   
I have found my favorite breakfast to be a protein shake with skim milk warmed up and 4 ounces of coffee added.  I need to find some more protein powder to make those and would like to find one that is cappuccino or cafe latte flavored that I enjoy.   I have tried about 10 different protein powders in the last 3 months to find what I liked best.  
I am moving back into some old clothes that are a bit smaller.  I refuse to spend any money on clothes at this time knowing if things keep going well that they won't fit after another 3-4 weeks.  (Well I did buy a cute cardigan style sweater my daughter suggested but it should look good even when I'm many pounds lighter).  I come to the OH site every day, track my nutrition every day and have just noticed in the last 24-48 hours that perhaps a bit more hair came off into my hands when I put some product on my hair in the morning after washing it.  The loss may be just starting!  Oh boy.  I only hope I can cope with this next emotional challenge.  I'll try to keep focused on those less fortunate as my reason not to complain. 
I am thrilled to be a smaller person.  I am still way bigger than I should be at 5' 2".  I can hardly believe that something has finally worked to get all the extra weight off.  This last 3 months is like a dream; a dream come true. 

3/5/2010

I am sharing others journies, and as I write today connecting with a friend who is just two weeks post op my thoughts as follows to her:
I SO remember feeling like I was learning, learning, learning...
In fact, it was mentally rather exhausting.  Always thinking either at a conscious or subconscious level about what I should/shouldn't be consuming.  Yes, this was getting pretty extreme at 2 weeks out.  I mean, immediately pre and post op there is mostly observing how one feels.  The diet is "liquids".  Then the confusion sets in. 
Then, the questioning sets in, and the questions are there all the time. 
In another couple of weeks you'll feel mentally drained, somewhat frustrated at the frequent "stop" signs you've set up for yourself and followed well.
At some point you'll find a few things that please you.  Food will start to taste better again.
By 6-7 weeks few or no limits, eat almost anything, easier to make choices.
A routine has developed.  I finally know what I want for breakfast.  I know what I don't want.
So how do you survive the learning, exhaustion, doubts, questioning, stop signs, choices, lack of known routine???

With the greatest joy in your heart that you're on a successful fantastic weight loss journey, whooo hooo, and I love, love, love getting thinner!!!!!  What a cool time of life and I don't regret now for one second changing my massive huge stomach into a slick sleeve.

Anne 2/23/2010  Total weight loss almost 40 pounds.

Dear Friend "Looking_up",
As I write you should be heavily sleeping during your surgery.  This is surely the most peaceful time you will have today and in the next several.  All my positive thoughts going to your surgical suite. Wish I could be closer.
I am two months post op per "dates" (surgery was 12/11/09) tomorrow, a bit closer to 9 weeks by the number of days...anyway, doesn't seem that long.  I'm used to my sleeve now I'd say at about an 8/10 on a scale of 10/10..  I still feel pretty overweight and am.    I have to remind myself every day that I've lost a considerable amount of weight.  I wish the scale wouldn't take "forever" to budge a pound or two but I know rapid loss isn't really good or expected.  I read everyday about how to do this right on this site.  I checked my nutrition tracking and have averaged 870 cals/day in the last 9 days, 60-80 grams or protein.  Slacking on the water part since I can't really drink plain water.  I should grab some more diet V8 Splash on the way to work - that blends well in ice for me and I can drink it easily.  Making it to the gym 3 times/week, need to get there 4 or 5 I imagine.  Walking on the treadmill and using the weight machines.  Happy about feeling some muscles in my arms and legs just a little bit.
  My favorite weight loss physical changes in the last two months are no back pain with just walking, no more knee pain, and I can cross my legs when I sit down  (oh and reaching certain places is much easier too) - how quickly these things I can take for granted.  I love that I had this surgery.  I worry that I don't "work" it enough.  I come to OH everyday to learn from all of you and keep my mind in the right place.
Looking forward to the day I am down another 10 pounds - then another 10, and another....by then, should be pretty nice outside!  (I'm in Northern Minnesota).
Wishing I could get smaller faster  - and know I should be grateful for my journey so far. Somewhat surprised how much self discipline is involved but finding that I can grasp it with my "sleeve" helping me.
Anne

12/10/10

I love the OH site, so much support just by reading what others are doing.  CONSTANT reminders that you have to work with this "sleeve" tool.  You actually still have to diet, geesh!   I'm kidding of course, I knew that, but there is kind of some sense that it will just be a breeze and that's not actually the case; I have to think a lot.  Reminding myself all day to make the right choices.  You still have to push the cookies and chips away when folks pass them to you at luncheons.  You still have to choose the healthy food so that small space you now call your sleeve gets good stuff and isn't filled with junk since you don't have a lot of room.
Yeah, I knew that.

(excerpt from a note to a friend)

The sleeve is still working but nothing like the first week post op where just an ounce of fluid the first couple of days is really filling.  I can eat anything but haven't tried plain bread without food.  I have had a sand which on a croissant twice, took off the top part of the roll, just ate the sand which on the bottom half of the bread to keep the bread content down.  This was not a problem and was always in a situation where I was being served the food and not choosing like yesterdays lunch  (cookie, chips, club sand which on a croissant).  I set the cookie and chips back on the serving table,  took off the top of the sand which, put on the mustard and mayo, ate about 2/3's of the lower half of the sand which and still wanted more bites.  I reminded myself that the quantity I had eaten was all my stomach needed volume wise.  I stopped, pushed the sand which aside.  5 minutes later I felt FULL and was really glad I stopped when I did.   Later that day I wished I had skipped the Mayo - just a way to cut back on calories and didn't really need it.

I am finding I have to use my mind to stop eating or plan quantities to put on the plate..  I could eat fast and take in too much.  So, I have to visualize a certain amount and stop - then, be patient, and I'm full in a slightly delayed fashion.  I worry sometimes that I won't "think" but so far that hasn't been an issue.  I DO NOT want to stretch my sleeve, I want it to work for years and years.
Out of town all last week at an educational event, sitting 12 hour days, need to get up and exercise this week.  Starting - NOW.

Anne

1/31/2010
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I got together today with an old friend I haven't spoken with in years.  We met again on the OH site!  She saw me, wrote, now we have something so wondrous in common we just can't stop sharing. 
She is going to get "sleeved" Feb. 10th, just 2 months after I did on Dec. 11th.  GREAT talking to someone in person who will be going through the same thing.  Just telling her my story so far made me realize what I've been through, what I've learned, how far I've come with regard to confidence.  Still have a long way to go. I'm still learning every day.  Weight is coming off slowly enough that folks haven't noticed (or said anything) except the ones who KNOW about my surgery have commented.  I think because I gained the 28 pounds in the last year that I just took off most people wouldn't have seen it on me that long - and somehow, commenting also makes it seem like "Yea, you really had a lot of extra weight lately". 
The benefits of just getting that extra weight off are noticeable with regard to knee pain and flexibility.  I found myself getting enthused again talking with my friend today who will have the same surgery - remembering how excited I was preop to begin this journey and dreaming of a future me not being overweight.
The dream lives on  - many pounds to go, but after a 10 day stall 3-4 pounds have just "fallen" off.
Still playing around with supplements.  Every time I read on this site about what folks took to help with less hair loss or good hair growth I think I should try that.  So, already have been taking a very good multivitamin liquid with selenium and zinc amongst other things (saw that recommended strongly weeks ago) and today bought some flax seed capsules and biotin tablets (saw that recommended yesterday).  Hm, maybe a wig if my hair falls out would be easier.
Well, from what I've read, the big "fall out" will be in another 6-12 weeks.  In the mean time, I'm supplementing my limited intake as much as I can and thinking about at least 60 grams of protein every day.  I have this inclination to up the protein but haven't so far.

love to you all my fellow WLS friends

Anne
Jan. 22nd, 2010

Eating more freely of a variety of things AND still always wondering from day to day "what am I going to eat today".  Maybe imagining it, but food just doesn't seem to taste the same.  Sometimes, I eat and then feel a bit depressed because it wasn't satisfying in a tasteful way. Because I can only eat a little bit my chance to eat something I enjoy is pretty limited hence, if I don't enjoy it, I feel down.    However, I certainly am feeling satiated from a full enough standpoint.  I'm remembering my daily vitamins (I bought this bottle of liquid vitamins/minerals etc at GNC - thick green liquid I drink SUPER fast because it's so yucky.  I'll never buy that again.  BUT, I will use it up and get my monies worth!  Per the nutrients listed, it should be very useful at least).   Still feel a bit of pain (just a little bit) when I press on the op sites.  Noticing my largest jeans are just too big and I have to keep hiking them up.  My next size down jeans were too tight about 4 days ago - will keep trying.  I'm worried about my OH friend (and fellow Duluthian) who is not recovering as smoothly as she should and hope she is home safe.  She had to have a CT of the abdomen yesterday.  It was normal but she mentioned she wasn't really feeling well.
I'll be watching for your next post girl!   I'm hoping all is well. 

January 8th,  2010

Someday I'll find just the right vitamins, just the right protein supplements, and I'll not have to say "yuck" that tasted terrible   - that's my goal anyway.  I don't expect everything to taste fantastic, just not disgusting.  I would like protein shakes to not make me feel nauseous also.  I really loved one I got from Cold Fusion last week....if only I could replicate that!  Hm....
Enjoying soft foods now, yes!  Did well last night, no alcohol, just water.  This tummy sure seems small sometimes - but of course, it is.
Here's to 2010 being an uplifting year for my whole family.
If it's good for them, it's good for me.

Jan. 1st, 2010
Anne

It's been 2 weeks since surgery.  Still adjusting to not being able to eat but very small amounts.  I advanced myself from liquids to purees and I have also just taken some "food" and chewed it so much it was pureed.  Went out to a Mexican restaurant last night with 15 folks - picked beans, and some guacamole and sour cream on the side. Only can eat very small amounts so trying not to eat anything useless (I did sip a little alcohol, very little, over the course of 3 hours - probably about 2 ounces total).  No stomach problems but GERD which is under control if I take my Prilosec twice daily.  Have never thrown up (yea!).
Worried I am not getting adequate nutrition in the last 5 days.  I was doing well with the protein shakes until they stated to make me nauseous.  I was also traveling and with lots of relative s just recently for the holidays.  I chose to pick what I could from the foods around (oatmeal, squash, potato, beans)  and that worked well except I know I need to supplement protein.  Drank one premade protein shake in the car on the way home and had to take a Zofran for nausea, yuck.  I will be optimistic for tomorrow, a new day, to try some more ways to make protein supplements my stomach doesn't mind me drinking - maybe I could even enjoy. 
Haven't weighed myself since I left on the holiday trip a week ago.  Don't feel that much lighter but I can suck that large gut in a bit more than before. 
Hope to have some time to communicate with friends on OH tomorrow, checking on how YOU are doing.
I don't regret the surgery.  I just need to get a good nights sleep  and keep learning, learning, learning.

Dec. 27th, 2009

So, did I go to the gym yet?  No, but I did walk out on the snow packed sidewalk for a little while.  And, spent time hanging pictures; climbing up and down was a bit uncomfortable - still an incision site that "sharply pulls" on occasion.  Only 7 more days of liquids, yes, I just need to keep telling myself I can do it!! 
I can actually sit and forget I had surgery now, for a little while at a time - while I have some computing, typing, reading to do.  That is nice.  It becomes all consuming (oh, don't use that word consuming).  Not really hungry, my taste buds are just bored.  And I'm actually getting very tired of the protein shakes to the point I felt a bit nauseous with the last one.  I think I just need to limit them to about 3-4 per day (which is still about 60-80 grams protein) rather than shoot for the 5 my nut recommends.  I just can't take that many without getting queasy.  I can take up to 90 ounces of fluid/day now and that is great.  Hm, warmed up cider and tea are my favorite.  Cream soups are some added nutrition.

Dec. 18th, 2009