linda_989904

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

One Week ago today I started my journey to get back on track. The support group meeting last week was great. I've been using the health tracker and have been keeping track of all I'm eating. Trying my best to not go over 1200 calories. Keeping my protein high and fats and sugars low.  I also bought a Wii Fit and the Dance Workout game on Saturday.  So much fun and I'm trying to do at least 30 minutes everyday and gradually keep building it up. Just little steps but all in the right direction. No weight loss yet but not giving up.

I can't believe how much I forgot. I'm so ashamed of myself.  No more then 5g of sugar. No more then 2.5g of fat. HIGH HIGH protein. How could I have forgotten the basics????

So here I am getting back on track.

Step one: Go back to a support group meeting. 
     So luckily my support group meets the 1st Monday of the Month and luckily the dietician was there last night. OMG the things I forgot!!! I can't believe it. But it was so good to hear the success stories and new ideas for food. So Shannan (our dietician) says 'ok lets go around the room and tell ideas of how we've modified our foods to make them more healthy" OMG what am I gonna do???? I have no healthy ideas for food, hence why I've gained weight back. So it gets to me....well...wth....I admitted I had fallen off the wagon and why I was there. I wanted to run as fast as I could out of there. I was so embarrassed to admit to be a failure.  But I did it and I stayed and no one judged me and instead was so supportive and encouraging. As I was commended by Nurse Kathy that I had the guts to return and seek help. Even as I type this I want to cry. Having so many people there supporting me who truely understand the struggles we each face as we all continue this journey together was truely an inspiration. 

Step One is complete.

Well its been quite some time since I"ve been on here and gave an update on how I"m doing. I'm getting close to being 4 yrs post op and have no regrets about having the surgery. I started at 409 and got down to 217. Yeah me. But my head never had surgery and unfortunately I learned to cheat and hence I'm up 60 lbs. I hate myself for letting this happen. So here I am trying to get back to basics before I hit 300lbs and completely lose control. So here I am begging for help.

I want to hit my goal. I will hit my goal. I can do it. I will do it.

Wow, where has the time gone? I can't believe a month is almost up already. At this time last month, I was a nervous wreck. Back and forth. Do I really want to do this? Can I really do this? What if something happens? What will happen if I don't do this? You all know these questions because I'm sure they all went through your head too. But I did it, I'm ok, and doing great. My only complication was an infection where my drain tube was. I haven't had any problems with any food so far. I even had ice cream after my daughters bible school program. 

My only problem these days is dealing with family. I'm having some major family issues and it has me down in the dumps emotionally. Its amazing how hard things can get so easily. At least I have my husband and friends that truly understand who I am and believe in what I can become. I keep trying to tell myself I don't need those who put me down but it's hard to get over. 

I'm trying to occupy my mind with other things and soon I'll be back to college. I got my degree in Office Administration in May 2006. Well after a year of looking unsuccessfully for a job, I have decided to go back to college to get my degree in Office Administration - Medical Support. It's only 5 more classes and hopefully it will open some doors that will allow me to find a job. Money is so tight right now and it makes it that much more frustrating knowing that I have a degree and knowledge to do these jobs that I'm applying for. Well if anything, I am least setting a good example for my kids about not giving up. And as crazy as it sounds, I like school. I know, ask me that in November and I'm sure it will be a different answer. LOL. 

Hopefully my next update will be a more happy one. 

Till next time...

Well surgery was Wednesday and I got home last night. WOW. I worried, but I learned I worried about the wrong things. I was worried about not waking up and if this was the right decision when I should have been worried about the pain. OMG!!! The pain from the sugery itself wasn't so bad, yes it was painful but managable. I don't remember anyone mentioning anything about the gas pain. I seriously thought I was going to die. The gas that they fill you up with during surgery is the worst. It was great discomfort until Thursday night around 11 and it became outright pain that lasted for over 4 hrs. The nurses tried to keep me calm saying that it was just gas and that it will pass as soon as I pass gas. I have never wanted to fart so bad in my life! Well the bubble must have moved because the pain went away enough that I could finally go to sleep but I still didn't pass gas until late yesterday afternoon. Overall since then I've been feeling pretty good. The worst now seems to be from hiccups. It seems like everytime I have to get up from a chair or bed I have to hiccup. Its usually just one or two but OWW. Now if I could just find somewhere comfortable to sleep. I tried my bed and now I'm trying my recliner. Neither is comfortable so I'll be happy when I can sleep in my bed on my stomach because that's when I'm most comfortable. Plus I need to get my little dog to stop jumping on me. The kids are good so far about being real careful around me and helping me out but the dog just doesn't get it. When my husband and I got home yesterday the kids were outside with the dog and I thought he was going to go nuts. He missed me and hasn't left my side since I've been home. 

Oh well, I just wanted to let everyknow that I was home and overall doing pretty good. Now back to drinking that water.

Well, there's only 5 days left til the big day. I can't believe how quickly its coming. I've been in freak out mood for a couple days now and I now its normal but I never expected this. I can only imagine how I'll be on Tuesday. But I will get through this, I will come out of it ok, and I will be successful. And this time next year I will be having the time of my life. Oh I can't wait! Now if I can only make it through these next few days. Next post, after surgery.

Well I had all my pre-op test done today. OMG! Whoever came up with that crap you have to drink for the upper GI needs to be knocked upside the head.  That was the most disgusting stuff I've ever had. Anywho all went well and I should know all the results on Tuesday at my next Dr appointment. And then onto the surgery on July 11. I can't believe its almost here.  

Well I seen the Dr today and I got my date for surgery. July 11 seems so far away and yet it seems way too soon. I can't believe I'm going through with this. I'm so excited and can't wait for the changes that this surgery will bring to my life. To be active with my kids and husband and not just be on the sidelines. My husband says he can't wait for me to lose the weight to go on his motorcycle with him. Well, I'm not sure I'm that daring. LOL. It will be interesting.

Well I went to see the Dietician and PT yesterday. Wow. I thought I had learned alot about the foods I would and wouldn't be eating. WRONG! And seeing just how small that 1/2 cup looks. It seems crazy that that's all I'll be able to eat. If even that much. But I learned alot and am trying to get used to chewing and chewing and chewing my food. My jaw will be in shape first. And I know my hardest at the moment is not drinking while I'm eating and taking small sips when I do drink. That will take a little practice. But I've started and no turning back now. 

And THANK YOU to my PT. Apparently they had been trying to get ahold of me all morning and they had the wrong number. My PT cancelled on me and THANKFULLY another PT gave up his lunch to see me. I live an hour away from Toledo and I'm trying to combine appointments because of the gas, so when they said my PT wasn't there I was not too happy. But it soon turned to joy. He was so sweet and went over everything and answered all questions. Now, why can't all people be like that??

Next stop. Appointment with the Dr on Tuesday!!

My Dr's nurse called today to set up my first appointment with the Dr. I can't believe how fast this is going. Although my first appointment isn't for another month, it just amazing me how fast things have gone through.  Now just a long month of waiting for that 1st appointment.