23 months out!!

Sep 12, 2009

September 12, 2009

OK friends and support family out there in cyber space here we go.. I'm planning to whine a bit then pull up my big girl panties and deal with it!
But first, I am very proud of myself for doing for good maintain my weight, I should say until this past month. Now I would like to blame it on life. My sweet daughter (15y) has gotten very sick and been in and out of hospital, we have moved to a new state (TN in July), My grandmother is wonderful and my husband and me care for her. So along with the move we have needed to get her moved from MO. over to TN and find a care home that I could live with for her. My mom, dad and sis are just not doing well at all health wise. Depression/ anxiety has stricken me hard this past 3 weeks, I'm walking around in a circle of my own self potty party. Can I add I am miserable not to be able to shake this on my own. Yes I am back on depression meds some time now, for situational anxiety mostly and this uncontrolled arm itching that is how my body deals with tension I guess. Lets see what else, I lost my very best friend the month before we moved. My sweet dog Molly (a beautiful Saint Bernard) I got her at 6 weeks old, she has been through many deployments with me and held all my secrets. I honestly think if it is possible I am still so heart broken about it ...
Snacking and bad eating have become almost daily living. Between all the company, moving, family and hospital stays I have made repeatedly boy choices. Choosing taco bell or kfc over thinking ahead and taking care of myself. Worst part is that I have not taken vitamins in month steady. For a few reasons, mostly because I forgot or got lazy (honestly). Well I think it has caught up with me, the fatigue is upon me something fierce, no energy and wanting to graze all day. This past month or two I have put on about 7lbs.. To some this sounds like nothing but to someone whom has struggled and finally felt concurred this weight stuff (sadly mistaken) it feels devastating. Like it is 20 or 30 lbs. my heart feels heavy and I am trying to get back on track.
So let me begin with saying I'm back on-line asking for help and support. I need to be accountable again, I need to remember that life is still 100 times better now and I do have the power to eat right and exercise. So darn it, I just need to do as I said. STOP this complaining and move forward!! Look forward to any advice or just anything...
BTW- I am on day 4 of the "5Dy pouch test", have done really well. As of this morning I am back under the 140 mark, 3lbs lost so far, and that nice full feeling is back. Headaches are still here but those will go in time also :)..
Love to all,
Jennifer

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