macortiz

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My hair has always been thin, and for the better part of my adult life I  have shed hairs.  The shedding had gotten much better over the past couple of years, so I let my hair grow out.  It's curly, blonde, and I have found pony-tails rock on hot days.

Since my surgery last month I've noticed my hair now falls out in gobs.  I find myself everywhere: on the desk at work, all over my sweatshirt or sweater, in the tub, in the sink, on the floor, and yes...in the sock drawer. Oddly enough, not a strand on any of my pillows (I just checked).  Yesterday I asked Dr. Doyle about it, and explained I don't want to run out and cut it all off because...frankly...that's more change than I think I can handle at the moment.

And I mentioned pony-tails rock on hot days, right?

He said it really doesn't stop until my weight stabilizes, "So, quite some time."  He also added that "contrary to what myths are on the internet" hair loss is stress related.  Well, that made a bucket of sense...my insides were just rearranged.  I have also been sick, and I'm still adjusting to all the nutrition changes.

Still, all of this knowledge just doesn't eliminate the little spot inside that has become a bit depressed over the hair loss issue.  Maybe the little spot is vanity, but I seriously doubt it.  There are things that women identify with - women stuff.  Like boobs.  Oh quit laughing!  Think about it.  A woman is diagnosed with breast cancer and one breast is removed.  A piece of her identity goes with it.  Men don't have boobs (well...summer at the beach really shouldn't be mentioned here). I don't know how the heck they would relate to all this (sorry boys).

It sucks.  However, I think lopping all my hair off at this moment will cause me to feel like part of my identity has been altered.  So...for now...I'll clean out the drain and seek out my Michigan cap.

Update:  I've lost almost 40 pounds since my surgery.  I'm absolutely positive next week I'll be celebrating the fact my weight loss numbers and my years of life will both be IN the 40's.

Today I had to contact one of our locations because the afternoon started to creep by and an item I was expecting hadn't shown up at the main office.  The counter guy who answered the line was clearly bothered over A: my request in general; and B: my second request where I was trying to determine which driver I should have been looking for (we just made a big change, nobody knows who's coming or going).  He was so bothered, he left me on hold.  It's a busy location, sometimes you wait for the person you're calling.  However, when the on-hold feature times out the line re-rings the counter. 

Mr. Personality kept putting the line on hold.

Anyone who knows me know my patience level is pretty short.  I hung up, called back, and got a different person.  I asked my question, he got me my answer.  Turns out the first guy is in a permanent state of bitter and treats everyone the same way.

I said, "Oooh...you mean he's always a hoo-hoo?"

"Yeah, pretty much," number Two replied.

I'm going to send that first guy the biggest stuffed Oscar Mayer wiener I can find.

The doctor said yesterday, "Has anyone been around you who's been sick?" 

I just wanted to pound someone.  Ask anyone I work with, if  I know someone is sick I don't want them near me.  That's of course if I know.  Although I understand the fact that financially missing work is a bit of a hit for the lot of us, I personally feel I'm a little bit of a risk getting sick with any type of gastric virus because I just had surgery.  Helloooo!  Sheesh.

Anyways, I've been staring at my jeans in the closet.  I'm hopeful the end of this summer I can get into them, which will be quite the feat considering the last time I had them on was when I moved out here last time.  We shall see. 


P.S.  The Nate Berkus show is on, I swear he's stoned.

Yesterday I felt sick and went home shortly after getting into the office.  After I got home, I hopped into a pair of lounge lizard pants, laid down on the couch and crashed for three hours.  I tried to drink and eat at all my normal intervals, but later I really got my butt kicked.  I'll save you the disgusting details.  It made for a miserable night, and when my alarm went off at a little after six this morning I couldn't see straight let alone sit up without the overwhelming urge run to the restroom.  I called left my manager a voice mail and sent him a note I wouldn't be in.

I'm still very tired, and trying a cup of soup to how that will far.

More later.

I have t-shirts which look practically brand new, the colors aren't even faded.  I only wore them a few times, then the insecurities set in because they were either too tight, too short, or both.  So I stuffed them in the "someday" spots:  buried deep in the dresser or on the dark side of the closet (next to my Darth Vader suit).  In the past few days I've pulled a handful of them out (I mentioned something about this on my FB wall).  Saturday was the first time in well over a year I went someplace and did not hide myself in an over-sized shirt over my t-shirt, or a hoodie.  Today I took the hoodie to the office, but spent most of the day with it hanging on the back of my chair (the AC can get a bit nippy).

My supervisor and I were talking about something in his office today and he said, "I can see...so if it's okay to ask...how much have you lost so far?"  He did apologize for asking, but he and I have a good working relationship and I wasn't offended at all.  It was just the high point to my day.

Officially I've lost 21.5 pounds in three weeks.  I'm now a member of the Twenty Club.  Cool, huh?

My day consisted of the biggest craving for a diet soda (I did not give in), and the following:

Atkins Premix Shake
Cream of Wheat (half of which was from yesterday)
Sugar Free Jello Pack (I can get full on one of these)
1/4 cup Chunky Vegetable Soup (Meijer version, left overs)
Z-Pro 25 protein shake (these are gross, they smell icky, and they're gross)
EAS AdvantEdge Premix Shake

All of which add up to a whopping 505 calories and 60 grams of protein. 

Dinner is pending, that'll probably be green....like Kermit.

I ran over to Meijer tonight to pick up a few things.  Three women had this small, gray car surrounded and were cornering this couple.  I really didn't care what they were doing at that particular second, I had gotten annoyed because there was a parking space and no one moved to let me in.  After one gal took her sweet time getting out of the way, I finally figured out what the problem was, and it took everything I had not to open my big mouth.

The women who cornered the couple were loudly chewing them out becuase they locked their dog in the car while they went into the nicely air conditioned store to get whatever it was they were there to get.  This poor little guy was panting so hard I thought he was going to pass out.  I don't know what the hell is wrong with you people who seem to think it's okay to lock your animal in a car on a 90 degree, sunny day with the windows cracked.  Cracked.  Really?  I'll be more than happy to lock you up in the car while I call the cops on your stupid butt, and I will post your license plate on FaceBook.

Jerks.

Post-ops were this week.  I've lost about 15 pounds since my surgery, 37 total since I walked through the doors of the weight loss center back in November.  Maybe not so exciting for some people, but that's 37 pounds I don't have to lug up the stairs anymore.  The doctors weren't thrilled I went back to work as soon as I did, but as I have mentioned before I didn't have anymore time off.  I just have to figure out how to make the desk as comfortable as my cave at home, which may not be possible but I'm going to try.

I finally heard back from the Collector at the hospital.  Truth be told, I was really annoyed with her because she pushed so hard for my stuff and kept me waiting for three weeks for an answer.  She left me a message today that the financial services department reduced the bill by 80%, which leaves me owing just under $2,400 dollars...not including the deductible from the surgery.  I sent an email thanking her and am trying to work out a payment arrangement that's reasonable for everyone involved.  Debi suggested I go in smelly and in frumpy clothes...but...well, if you know me and my OCD...it just can't happen.  LOL

At CVS today after I picked up a prescription and a box of plastic spoons, I wandered down the summer aisle and found four packs of Popsicle making kits.  How excited was I?  I bought three!  I had to get out of that aisle though...lots of brightly colored stuff desiring me to pick them up.  Nope.

Macbit:  Sitting at my desk today at the office, I had a baggie with my vitamins.  The small ones I can take whole but the multivitamin and one other are a little long and need to be cut.  So there I am, thwacking the crap out of this poor Ziplock with a pen in a desperate attempt to snap these stupid things in half.

I successfully made vita-powder.  It was quite disgusting.

When my customer said he had a gift for me, I knew it had to do with goodies.  The box had to weigh 2-3 pounds.  I told him I really appreciated it, gave him a hug, then told him I just had weight loss surgery and if it would be okay, I'd share the box with the office.  Turns out his mom had the lap-band procedure a few months ago, I told him my mom had the RNY a few years ago...so we had moment to share about our moms. 

Tomorrow I have post-op appointments.

Nothing too exciting today.  Maybe tomorrow someone will offer me cake?  hA!

-Traci

I didn't make it past 1:00 p.m.

When I got into the office this morning I was feeling pretty good.  I grabbed the high-back chair out of the computer room to try to assure some comfort sitting at my desk, but it became clear as the morning drew on that it wasn't going to work.  Leaning, moving, reaching, getting up, sitting down, walking around the office...everything just irritated the main incision.  By the time I talked to the owner about heading home, I was having a hard time standing up straight.  I wrapped up my cash transactions, gave the gals a heads up about my bank bags from store 6 which were en-route, then went home. 

Mom checks in everyday.  Monday we got into a bit of a tift on the phone, which constisted of "Listen to me...No...YOU listen to ME....No...listen....UH-UH...".  Now, if you know me and you know her, we're both standing in our homes over two thousand miles away from each other tossing hips and throwing the "No" finger in the air.  Yes mom, I do love you.

Anyhoo...I tried taking regular Tylenol today and it did nothing.  I can't find regular liquid Tylenol, and I discovered from the manufacturer that it's on backorder (now, read that sentence again and tell me if that makes any sense at all??).  So tomorrow I'm going to take the stuff the doctor prescribed to the office, and I'm very happy it doesn't make me loopy or overly friendly to strangers and weird pets.  If the pain can be kept under control I will have no problem making it through the day.  Pray, hold your breath and keep your fingers crossed!

Macbit:  Last night I had promised Becky I'd call to let her know how the day ended up (whether I stayed or not at the office) and while we were on the phone a massive crack of thunder exploded over the top of my head.  I jumped, the dishes rattled and I instantly praised Jesus.

Toodles!
-Traci

I feel like Mz. Popular all of a sudden.  Beth came over late this morning.  She was my "hang out" person so I could take a shower...which was more to make sure someone was here to call 911 if I fell out of the tub.  We had a nice visit before and after.  Although I'm fairly certain she got a little bit more than she had bargained for over the band-aid mishap.  Thank you again from the bottom of my heart for being here today during that whole moment.

Christine had me out walking this evening, we made it to CVS and back.  It's just under a half mile each way.  By the time I got home though I was totally winded.  I shot her a text message and asked if we could make tomorrow's walk a wee bit shorter.  It was my second trip out of the house today.  The first time was mid-afternoon to check the mail.  Tomorrow night her and Liam are coming over.  Soup and a movie.  Don't tell Liam, I'm itching for a hug from his stinky teen-aged self.  I just adore him. 

Nancy, one of my landlords, came by a little while ago and brought me all my mail from earlier in the week.  We visited for a bit too.  She's excited for this adventure I'm on.  Stuffed in the mail was a card from her, and it's covered in flowers.  If you knew Nancy, it's totally her.  She's the perennial lady.

I'm happy to be home, extremely happy to have my own bed and no psycho roommate.  Healing is "okay".  I'm trying to be careful with what I eat because I honestly can't tell where full starts and ow begins.  My main incision is right "there" where my little pouch is and it's all sensitive, irritated, and just not too happy at the moment.  Time will take care of that.  I've already had my first "oh crap" moment by accidentally consuming too much water.  Trust me, that won't happen again.

Anyways, I have six incisions across my abdomen.  Nancy said they look a little like stab wounds...which they kind of do.  The smallest one is about half an inch.  All the others are between that and about two inches (give or take, I'm not using a ruler).  I'm bruising there already and have bruises on my arms from IV's and tape.  Yes, I said tape.  I have an adhesive allergy, and it doesn't matter what kind of adhesive.  I even have marks from the heart monitor leads and those were that gelly-gooey junk.

Nothing fabulous to report...other than I'm alive and have had it pointed out my text messages from the hospital were interesting.  Thank you all for your prayers, well wishes, and continued prayers, phone calls, etc. (etc. encompasses the stuff I'll remember after I hit "publish post").  The first hurdle has been jumped!

Much love,
-Traci

P.S.  My wish list for this summer is as follows:

Renew my "O" Magazine Subscription since the renewal is less than a day at McDonalds.
Get bike at Trekk (I think that'll be in June...The Bike Fund is open for donies!  :P)
Acquire a Nook (end of summer).

Toodles!