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>My surgeon's nurse called me back this afternoon and said she spoke to the Collector.  Who told her side of the story, which the nurse did not repeat.  I piped in with the acknowledgement that the Collector probably thinks I was giving her a line of bunk, but I also made it clear that at no time did I ever say I would not pay.  So the nurse tells me she told the Collector the surgery would not be delayed, that "the patient" offered to make payment arrangements, etc.  I find out then why the Collector didn't call me.  Her supervisor (um...yeah...not the director, go figure) is out until Monday.  The nurse asked me to reconsider having the financial department review my finances to reduce the amount of the bill.  She went to bat for me, how could I say no?

We are on for the 17th. 

Thank you for your prayers and encouraging words.  I was really in the dumps this morning.  Amazing how much I perked up after spending my lunch break listening to a Bible study. 

Tid Bit For the Day:

I told Matthew today I wanted chocolate.  Then I envisioned myself  going into CVS, wandering down to the freezer aisle, opening the door,  popping the lids off some of the ice cream containers to give them all a long lick.  Then I'd haul myself out of there as fast I could.


It'd be the first annual Lick 'n Run.

This might be repeating some of yesterdays blog.

I presently have insurance.

In 2009 I was 2 weeks from having insurance when I landed in the  hospital for a week's vacation with a major infection.  I had thought  the bill had been taken care of through an organization who works with  low income people.  I have not any statements from the hospital, have  been there for tests, labs, etc. over the past two years.  They have all  my information, including work digits. So I haven't been avoiding them.  I  received a couple of small bills last year and paid them.  

Registration called me yesterday to confirm everything for the 17th and said I  had quite the balance.  Still convinced the bill had been taken care of,  I contacted billing, who sent me to financial services.  This woman is  tough, not very friendly.  I have learned and  confirmed the debt was in fact not paid, and now I owe a balance in excess  of 11k.  I was denied assistance because they said I made too much  money.  I make more now, not  much more.  I offered up a payment plan of 150.00 per month and  she all but said no and basically I got cornered into 256 a month, which  I'm still not sure I can pull off.  That's a lotta dough.

She's still hinting at not allowing my surgery to go through.  Again, it's  covered by my insurance, has been approved and they've acknowledged so.   However, I feel she's dancing me around the flag pole with "I have to  present this to my supervisor, and he's taken it to the director".   Oddly enough, she was much chipper with that statement.

Sue at the surgeon's office is in a thither about it. She said it's the most ridiculous thing she's heard of, that she's never heard of such a thing.  She said she'd speak with Dr. Krause and would be getting back with me.  I'm expecting to hear from her in the morning.  She's pretty lit up.  Unfortunately, the hospital can refuse to allow me to have my surgery.

Part of me feels like I should be laying on the floor uttering magnanimous prayers into the carpet.  Part of me feels defeated and can only muster up small prayers, thanking God for who He is and can He help me out with all this junk.  They really only come out smaller because...well...they just do.  "Help me" translates the same whether I tell God what I really think of my self, or just repeat those two little words (with loud sighs of PLEASE) over and over again. 

It's horribly stressful.  Totally exacerbates the insomnia...I'm not getting to sleep until 1a.m. most nights and for some redumbtive reason (yes, I spelled it like that on purpose) I have been waking up between 5 and 6a.m. 

I had my pre-op with Dr. Doyle and Nannette the nutritionist today.  Went fairly well.  I have to pop in the day before my surgery, that's to make sure I haven't "gained" any weight in the middle.

What I wasn't prepared for was the call from someone in billing from the hospital.  Long story short-there's a balance from my week long vacation there back in July of 2009.  I had applied for assistance with the bill, faxed my life over (seems to be a recurring theme lately) to the representative and in September (I believe it was September) I had received a note in the mail stating they were going to be covering the balance remaining.  The original balance was a rediculous amount of money, then the hospital "discounted" for not having insurance, so the balance was to be picked up through this organization.  I had call the rep back in October because I received another statement, higher than the first, and when I had spoken with the hospital they hadn't done anything with the letter and the organization.  Two years later, and 13 days from when I'm supposed to have surgery, I'm still having the same conversation with the billing department.

Except now they're indicating they could prevent my surgery from happening.

I was incredibly disappointed, then I got mad.  The lady who contacted me tonight as I was getting into the Jeep stated she wanted to help since I was supposed to have a procedure (but made numerous mentions of how she was supposed to be out of the office at 4:30 and here she was calling me at 6:35....after the fourth mention of that fact I wanted to throw the phone).  So I again relayed my story of assistance through this organization.  There are notes in their system that I've called, but now mysteriously there's notes stating nothing was covered by any outside agency and my responsibility is a really ridiculous amount of money.

I just wanted to cry.  Actually, I did cry.  Half way home down Crooks from Troy, then I called my mom and jumped up and down in my seat like a crazy woman (none of that conversation would have been pleasing to the Lord).  So now I have to scramble and do it all over again.  Banking statements, pay stubs, id and social security card (now, they have those on file, so I have no clue), taxes...AND I have to provide a letter about why I'm having this procedure on the 17th.

After I apologized to my mom for venting in the most unattractive manner, I went home and pulled out my little filing cabinet.  I have found everything I faxed to this place, including the stuff I spoke to the rep about in October of 2009 because the hospital sent another bill...I can not find that stupid letter.  I left her two messages tonight.  And I'm calling again in the morning.

With other events from this week, it's been really discouraging.

Until tomorrow....

>Two weeks from tomorrow.  Fourteen days.  That's only 336 hours.

I know, neurotic, huh?

So I'm a little more freaked out than I had thought.  No, not in the "I think it's time to change my mind" because I have no hesitation about having the surgery.  It's other things.  You know...such as family and friends who can't be here, who I really wish were here.  I have support, yet I kind of feel like I'm a little out there on the raft, by myself.  And yes, I know God is with me. God's awesome.  Hugs and literal hand holding is awesome, too.

I got home from work and fixed dinner (yeah, dumped a can of chicken noodle into a pan...well-a.  Soup.).  The mailman didn't bring me anything exciting (actually, it sort of added to my mini-panicohmygodmylifeisgoingtochange-attack), the news...um...no need to say anymore.  So after a couple of phone calls I cracked open my homework for small group and tossed on Raul to go with it (some would call that "cheating"...I, however, find it very insightful and a HUGE tool...okay...yeah...cheating, but it's really good!).  In Colossians 3:15, Paul talks about the peace of God.  Then Raul said, "Make sure the peace of God rules over your life...it's the opposite of anxiety.  Be anxious for nothing...you need the peace of God in your lives to rule over your hearts.  Be thankful for everything He has given us."

Well, there was the spiritual elbow to the ribs.  I'm flipping out about things I have no control over (grocery prices, gas hikes, teeny tiny paycheck) when I should just do what I've been doing - diving into the one thing that brings me great comfort and warms my heart.  Studying the Bible.

Note to all my pals:  I will still take hugs and hand holding ANY time!

Three weeks from today I enter into a new chapter of my life.  I am nervous but very excited, and so ready.

I've learned a few things during the past six months.

Not every person I know, or associate with, agrees with my decision to have weight loss surgery.  Those opinions I respect, but only to a point.  The experts in my life consist of my team of doctors (weight loss is all they do), my mom (she had the same procedure done and successfully lost a person), Matthew (he's been through the experience with our mom, personally experienced obesity, and has a pair of pom-poms he shows to NO one but me), my nutritionist, etc.

Dr. Doyle told me about the guy who perforated his esophagus two days post-op after he consumed and entire baseball park hot dog (he spent some time in ICU); he and Dr. Krause (my surgeon) told me about three patients who passed away.  Two did not disclose major medical information to their physicians, and the third did not follow their doctor's instructions.  And of course they both shared incidences where things didn't go quite as planned.  If you know me well, you know I dig a lot. I spent almost two years researching the options before I went to my first appointment a little over six months ago.

So although I can appreciate the views expressed by those not in agreement with my decision, and their willingness to give a story of someone they know who knew someone that read about someone who thought about looking into weight loss surgery but changed their mind after someone they knew said something about someone they read about who fell off a gurney....um - thanks.  I'm good.

Family, friends...your prayers, encouraging words, pep talks, list of things to find out about, answers to a few tough questions.  There's nothing more greater than than friends and family.

"Behold, I will do something new, now it will spring forth; will you not be aware of it? "

There is a very large piece of me who would like nothing more than to get this picture onto a t-shirt and mail it to a friend of mine who made a remarkable comment to me this afternoon.

In case you were wondering...my use of the word "remarkable"...completely sarcastic.

This little picture grew out of a question text messaged to me this morning by someone who was considering doing something that cost quite a penny.  To be clear:  they asked me to give them a call and specifically stated they wanted to get my opinion.   I left this person a voice mail just before walking out the door for lunch.

A couple of messages were exchanged and before I offered my input, I was clear:  You won't like my answer.  After learning why they wanted to spend money on this "thing", I offered up some suggestions that wouldn't cost anything and mentioned a couple that would cost a few bucks, including eating a three pound bag of Lifesavers (I actually did that).  I realized those items most likely wouldn't have been received, I went on:  I said you probably wouldn't like my answer.  Personally, I don't think it's wise, as your friend I'd encourage you to see where else you could put that money to make a difference.  Just a thought.  They wanted to know why they had such a good feeling about it (this thing they wanted to do), and added:  Some peeps go to rehab for stuff.

Yeah.  You know where this went.

I replied:  ...like me...

Quoting them:  Yes.  I quit drugs without help.  Cigs are tougher for me.  Wasting $ on elec cigs, patches, etc.  This could be the answer.

Well yank out the freaking celebratory banners.  Yipee ya flipping hoo for you.

In case you forgot...I went to rehab, and screwed that up.  It was clear though:  I had to get help - let alone the fact I made the decision to get the flip out of town and move clear across the country in order to get my head on straight, get right with God, and get moving in the direction I needed to.

Maybe asking my opinion wasn't the best thing they could have done today - but that rehab crack - pretty crappy, hurtful thing to say.

Side Note:  I prefer a phone call, not a frigging text fest.

I have a migraine...which might be why I'm plopping this online.

Late this afternoon I consumed a fairly decent amount of water and had to "go".  So after finishing my business I came to stark realization there was no paper in the stall.  Now add to the fact I've acquired a touch of OCD over the past few years and you can probably guess...

...I was freaking out!

After mere seconds of contemplating "options", I grabbed my pants with my right hand, swung the stall door open with the left and grabbed at the "hands free" paper towel dispenser.  I swear as the good Lord Jesus is my witness, I never actually looked for the dispenser.  I kept grabbing at it with my free hand while glaring at the main door to the bathroom.  All I could think is, 'I am so going to get busted with my pants down'.

Doesn't matter where you are...if you don't pay attention to things around you, you'll always get busted with your pants down.

I do so love the changes in the seasons here in Michigan, but I have got a serious case of "Spring Fever".  The few warm days we've had over the last month had me open a few windows at home or drive with them down in my Jeep.  It's all been a total tease.  I am completely done with wet weather of any kind, and I desperately want to open my windows and get fresh air flowing through my little apartment...at least until the summer heat bakes my little upper and I cram the AC units in the windows.

Gas prices are ridiculous.  I realize some people I know are paying well over four bucks a gallon, but considering our cost of living here and the BLATANT fact over half a million people in the tri-county area have been out of work since April of last year...well, gas prices are ridiculous.  There's a running rumor right now that we'll hit a little over four bucks a gallon by Easter, and the west coast will likely be above five.  I think the Amish community might have something going with that whole horse drawn buggy thing.

Monday I meet with Dr. Doyle again to review my blood tests, which I'm sure will still say I'm vitamin deficient and anemic.  I'm completely convinced if they did the blood tests in the middle of the month instead of the end of the month the anemia wouldn't be an issue (let your brain think...).  I'm hoping the scale wiggles in my favor once again and that I wont be retaining like GALLONS of water.  It doesn't happen often, but when it does it's a major inconvenience.

I spoke to the gal at the surgeon's office on Monday and let her know my "six consecutive months" were now fulfilled.  Seriously, that is totally stupid.  Doesn't matter if you see the doctor six or sixty times, it has to be six months in a row, no interruptions.  *Sigh*.  So they're going to wait for Dr. Doyle's notes to make their way through the system then they're faxing my records back to the insurance company to get an approval.  I'm hopeful we'll be setting a date by the end of April.

And if we don't...I will so be complaining.

Final thought of the night:

I have discovered the makers of Benefiber could save MILLIONS of dollars in advertising costs by altering their slogan:  "Benefiber...it makes you go."

Over the past three days I've used just over a quarter of a bottle of hand sanitizer.

One of the owners of the company I work for has had a "cough" for about a week, maybe a little longer. I try to keep my distance, but there's only so much room in a cube that's really a rectangle with one viable exit...which happens to be blocked by said owner.  I've decided it's unwise to alienate the owner.  If I'm careful I can hold my breath for a full sixty seconds when she's near before I start flopping in the chair due to lack of oxygen.

Since our part-time person (and my back-up) decided to just...leave...tossing six months of receivables notes into the trash on her way out the door, I've had to train a new part-time person in crash-course-fashion.  She's got some head thing, sneezes a lot, and sounds like there's a bag of cotton stuffed up her nose.  She's like me in that she tends to talk a little with her hands (okay...I talk a LOT with my hands, and have brought grown men accidentally to their knees describing the widths of rivers across the United States).  Yesterday she yanked her hand out of one of her pockets, slinging a crumpled wad of Kleenex into the air...

...which promptly landed on my printer...

She swore it wasn't used.

The best was our other IT director who happens to sit near my area, is deaf in one ear (makes for a great phone call), and has the most remarkable temper tantrums.  When he discovered my abilities to cruise around Microsoft Office and referred to me as a "Super User", I just knew I would be in trouble.  He recently returned from a trip to the Bahamas this past Monday.  Along with a fresh sunburn (which left his face slightly swollen) he brought back presents.  A clogged head and blood red eyes.  Others in management sent him home sometime after he commented on his eyes being glued shut that morning.

He called his wife and made it very clear he was "sent home for the day...and he came BACK yesterday...moaning and complaining about how bad he felt.  And then he left again.

Like a bad boomerang he showed up just before I did this morning.  I asked how he was feeling.  "Three massive infections...eyes, ears, upper respiratory".  Apparently he picked up the conjunctathingy in the swimming pool in the Bahamas.  Yes, ladies and gents...again, my argument for why I don't do "Community Candy Bags" is once again strongly supported.  His doctor threatened to put him in the hospital...really?  Really?  Aaaaand you're at the office............WHY?

I was trapped in a meeting yesterday in between Hackey and Sneezy for four hours.  The Leaking Man decided to use my fax machine today just before I clocked out (putting himself between me and the only viable exit I could have accessed).  He thought it was amusing to blow air in my direction.

I gave enormous thought to how amusing it would be to douse him with Lysol and wrap him up with Clorox Clean-Ups.

It's a good thing I don't wear rings at the moment because I wouldn't be able to remove them.  Between a little more sodium than I had paid attention to, and "that monthly thing", I strolled into Dr. Doyle's office today swelled right up just like a puffer fish.  Stacy, the nurse, had to take my blood pressure twice.  She just kept going on and on about the amount of fluid, and I was the one reassuring her by the end of the week everything would be pretty much back to normal.

I like Dr. Doyle.  He doesn't leave me feeling like I'm taking up his time with useless questions, even if they are repetitive.  Always with a smile he answers, offers additional information I hadn't even thought of, etc.  He also is really encouraging, not at all pushy.  His approach is "this is where you've come from, this is where you'll be...and this is how we're doing."  Never a negative word, always kind, always encouraging, and always ends our time together on an encouraging note.  I also appreciate his candidness.  Dr. Doyle didn't pull any punches when we first met, nor any time since then.  He was very clear to point out my decision to have weight loss surgery would bring out the commentators, cause frictions in relationships, and could very well end friendships.  He and Dr. Stettnor told me about the numbers of the couples who have marriage issues stemming from wls, as well as individuals seeing friendships which have spanned decades come to an end over wls.  The reason being, in non-technical terms, is the other party in the relationship has no idea what to do now that their friend is no longer big.  I like being informed.  It makes the moments when somebody says something hurtful (whether they realize it or not) a little bit easier to deal with.

Dr. Doyle quote of the day (after a comment I made about my glasses):  "You'll probably have to get them adjusted slightly, but to answer your question...no...your head will not shrink."

Happy Monday!