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I have a date! I am scheduled for surgery on November 1, 2012. I received a phone call on Monday September 17, 2012 from Colleen who is the scheduler at my surgeon's office and was told that my insurance, United Healthcare/Healthcare Partners Group, approved the referral for the "Lap Gastric Bypass/Roux-en-Y Less than 150 CM" Procedure! She then gave me the date of Nov 1st and I was just shocked that it is all happening so fast! I cannot begin to explain how ecstatic and scared I am at the same time. I have waited and struggled for this day for a long and rocky 2 years plus! I can't believe this is happening to me. I just want to shout on the mountain tops and praise Jesus that he blessed me with this priceless opportunity! There are so many emotions going through my head right now, but the main one is joy! I can't wait to be part of the loser's bench..FINALLY! I was also told that my final weight check would be done on this Friday September 21, 2012. Even though I had 11 pounds to go for the minimum pre-op weight requirement, I guess since my insurance already approved my surgery that I no longer have to meet the requirement. Of course, I can't gain anymore but I don't see that happening in 42 days, and I definitely won't let it happen being that I will be an anxious and nervous wreck in utter anticipation LOL. Therefore, just for the record I am going to record my stats in this post to begin documenting my journey. I'll be back to upload pre-op body shots...especially need to get some in from night before and day of surgery. :) :) :) :)

Weight:

Highest Recorded Weight: 315
Current Weight: 296 (as of 9/20/2012)
Goal Weight: 145-165

Measurements (as of 9/20/2012):

Height: 5' 7 1/4" (Approx. 67 Inches)
Shoe Size: 10/10W-11
Ring Size: 8.5
Dress/Pant Size: 22/24-24W
Top Size: 2X-3X
Bra Size: 44C/42D
Panties Size: 9-10 or 3X-4X

Well, after a long 2 1/2 year struggle to attain WLS, I am finally in the beginning stages to an actual surgery date. All thats left is about 2 months of waiting and tieing up some loose ends, so to speak. As of Sept. 7, 2012, my surgeon, Dr. Takahashi of Assoc. of South Bay Surgeons notified me that she wrote orders to submit for insurance authorization/acceptance to perform the Gastric Bypass surgery. I received my Pre-Op packet and my Lovenox information box with sharps container and prep pads. I also was given the business card of the Bariatric Surgery Coordinator at Torrance Memorial Medical Center where I will be undergoing my GB RNY in the next couple of months. The only thing left for me to do is continue losing towards the pre-op goal of 285 which my surgeon outlined for me, attend a mandatory Pre-Op Education class with my coach, do a few lab workups, a few more final tests (i.e. another Chest X-Ray, EKG/EGC, Ultrasound of Abdomen/Legs), and my final Pre-Op appointment with Dr. Takahashi. Basically I was informed that all of this takes about 2 months but could be faster depending on how soon I finish everything. In my case, it's looking more towards mid to the end of November to have my actual surgery. And I am totally fine with that because I have a lot of planning to do as far as my budget and bills and first and foremost, the care of my son while I am recovering. So amongst all of that I am truly and utterly excited. I have not looked at food the same for awhile, but I am really starting to ignore it since finding out that I am on the path to surgery day! I have made an effort today to begin phasing out carbonated beverages and drinking from straws. I am also trying to sip constantly throughout the day and practicing discontinuance of liquids at least 30 minutes before and after a meal. I am also working on chewing my food to a "toothpaste" consistency so that I get used to doing it by time surgery day is here. I would like to begin a journal of sorts, either through a blog or YouTube, not sure yet and I definitely want to get some Pre-Op body shots (good ones to be able to compare better to post-op). Even though I am super excited, I am nervous and very afraid of all the what ifs. My worst fear is waking up on the table paralyzed but able to hear, see, and feel everything and not being able to alert the doctors. I also fear developing some crazy post-op complication like pneumonia or blood clots and dying because of it...that really scares me mostly because I have a 3 year old little boy that needs me. I think once I am away from the hospital setting, I will be way more relaxed. I was in a similar experience when I had my son via C-Section. I was a wreck in the hospital, just did not feel comfortable and always on edge. Once I was home, I was enjoying every minute of my new baby and my recovery. I am confident that I will be able to bounce back quickly and resiliently through this surgery as well. After all, I am a mom...that's what we do! :) I'll be updating soon and keeping all my OH friends posted on my journey to surgery day! I know that once it's all said and done, every fear, pain, hardship, moment of joy, tear, sweat...everything will be so worth it! xoxo

So on Thursday I got some good and bad news. For the last 1 1/2 years, I have been attending a Community College to finish my undergrad coursework in the hopes of transferring to a University and finishing my degree and then going on to law school. Fortunately, I have completed enough units at a community college for the last year and half to transfer to a University soon. So, I applied last year to the University of my #1 choice and waited for Fall Semester grades from my Community College and sent my transcripts over to the prospective school that I had applied to. Everything was going smoothly and I really wanted to start U in Spring 2012 (February). One thing though is that before I entered the CC to finish my general ed units, I went to a College fresh out of High School and bombed out miserably. It was a culture shock and the first time I had been away from home so at the end of the year, I dropped out and took a break from school. Luckily, a few years later I went back to college full-time at a Community College while working full-time in order to finish my degree. Fast forward to this year and I have finished all of my credits at this community college, so I applied for acceptance to a University I have loved and been eyeing for 2 years now. I called them on Friday because it seemed to be taking them longer than usual to go over my application which they told me once they received my transcripts, I would be accepted in about 2-3 days. I had already gone to the U for an informal advising where they look at all your past schools and units etc. and judge whether you'll be a good fit for the school. That session went off without a hitch and they were excited to have me become a student soon. Well that dream turned awfully wrong but in perspective in a good way. So I call the U on Friday and they kept transferring my call. Finally the Director of Admissions gets on the phone and I hear the word "UNFORTUNATELY" thats when I froze. Basically, they can't accept me! I was dumfounded. My current GPA is very good but when they factored the old College I went to straight out of HS, it lowered my GPA below the accpeted standard for the University requirements. So bottom line, they couldn't accept me at this point but said they are glad to accept me when I get my GPA up .20 points. Can you believe it? I was only .20 away from the GPA requirement and only because my old ass College grades came back to haunt me. It was so unfair considering I was on the Dean's List at my current school and I have worked my ass of. Now I need to do another semester of about 2 bullshit classes to get my GPA up slightly. I was crying to my mom and aunt about it and they reminded me about something important. They told me that maybe this was meant to happen because I am meant to get my surgery soon, in March or April. They said this was a sign from above that I was meant to change into a better person and that God knows I need to be focused on just my weight right now and not cloud my attention with starting a U and beginning upper-level courses. At least the 2 classes I have to do at my CC are lower-division electives that I am doing online, so it won't be at all stressful during the time I should be focusing most of my energy on my weight loss. What do you all think? After taking everything in, I think it's a sign that my dream is coming true soon! This way I can start college as a normal-sized person and not have to worry about the fears that go along with being fat in College... 

I can't eat anything anymore without this terrible sense of guilt over me. I know in my heart that this is my moment, that 2012 is my year to finally reach my dream of getting RNY GB. I am definitely a food addict and should have been dieting regularly for the past 6 months but I am human and I have had slip ups. I am hungry right now, physically and although I really want to eat a breakfast burrito I have this horrible feeling over me called GUILT. I prayed last night for Jesus to give me strength to lose this weight and I think this horrendous guilt I am feeling is helping me at every meal. I want a burrito but I need fruit and some oatmeal. I refuse to do this to myself any longer. Today is the day I change for good. Not only that but being called a "fat bitch" by your soon-to-be EX-husband helps with the way you look at food too. LOL! On to bigger and better things for me...in more ways than one! XOXOXO

So tomorrow I officially have 20 days to lose 20 pounds. Well if I can get at least 15 pounds down, I will be a happy lady. I need to do this by February 10, 2012 in order to have my surgeon finally submit authorization for approval of my RNY. I am taking it easy today as far as eating goes and yesterday I ate very light as well. But tomorrow, I am starting a "soft" diet. I am planning to drink protein shakes and eat only full liquids and soft foods like creamy soups, mashed vegetables/potatoes, yogurt, broths, jello, popsicles, etc. I want to do this to jumpstart my weight loss and definitely to get that weight loss going. This is my last stab at it. If I don't lose this required pre-op weight and my surgeon decides to reschedule my pre-op appointment again in order to give me more time to lose it, then regretfully I feel like I am going to give up on trying to get the RNY. So please, keep me in your prayers everyone and please pray that I lose at least 1/2 if not more of this weight. Thank you! 

So for the past two days I have been feeling terrified. I have this little countdown ticker on my Home Screen when I unlock my Android and everyday it ticks down to the proposed week of surgery. I don't know the date for sure yet but to think surgery could be as soon as 68 days away really scares me. I have waited almost 2 years for this and finally its becoming too real for me. I keep freaking out about going under and what if I wake up during surgery but I stay paralyzed? I am so frightened so I started praying because these bad thoughs came to my mind that maybe I would never be ready to do this surgery. So I started praying and went on YouTube cuz I was bored. I started searching Gastric Bypass Anesthesia and I ended up finding this random girl's YouTube channel and her WLS transformation. She was also afraid of the same things I am right now but it really gave me hope that she still went through with it and turned out more than fine! This girl looks so good now because of all the weight loss and reminded me a lot of myself. I really took finding her videos as a sign that this RNY is meant to be for me. I really teared up and started to have this sense of calm and carefree feelings over me. I really don't know why but now I feel much better about the whole anxiety I was feeling and just know that 2012 is my year, the year for my life to take a total turnaround in the best way. XOXO.

It's been a YEAR and a HALF since I started the Bariatric Surgery Program at Association of South Bay Surgeons. It took me this long to realize that I was the one holding the power to change my own life. Of course I cannot open myself up and do my own surgery, or trust me I would've done it already, but ultimately I realized it is up to me to lose this pre-op weight or else I won't even get this gift that I so desperately want and need! I really had to come to rock bottom and that was on Monday of this week to see what I was doing to myself. I immediately started a diet and exercise plan and religiously document everything that goes into my mouth and any exercise I do so that I can keep track and hopefully meet my goal weight of 267 by November 14, 2011. Since Tuesday I have lost 4 POUNDS...I really can't believe it and I know that starting ZUMBA has helped me a lot. Also, I have been really trying to get in 12-14 glasses of water a day. Usually I will drink 10 throughout the day and then the other 4 after my crazy good workouts doing ZUMBA! If everything goes as planned I should know my surgery date on November 14, 2011. Once me and Dr. T schedule everything it will take about 4-6 weeks for the surgery to actually happen due to insurance final testing etc. I am so ecstatic right now...this is really happening and my dream is coming true! Muah! XoXo

I started this journey on March 15, 2010. I was supposed to have my surgery in mid September. It is now November and I have been yoyo-ing between the same 15 pounds as when I started. I cannot get past 287 and every week I do a weigh in I get more scared that I am going to lose this incredible chance. Can someone please help, my will power is down to nothing and I keep wanting to eat, I started at 292, and I weighed myself today and I was 295 and I have a weigh-in this FRIDAY! My doctor says that she'd like to see at least half the weight gone by December, thats 12 pounds and I have 25 total to lose! THIS SUCKS! What to do?