martha49

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my time flys when your shopping!  When the statement comes in on the credit, I'm going to be ostracized for another 3 mo.  but we have so many needs (and wants) with such a large family. 
Lost another lb. going toward 280's now.  so strange.  been looking at the 3x sizes to see if i am interested in anything and finding the only difference is the price.  it drops by about half!  What a relief. I have had to pay so much for my clothes, it is ridiculous.
That's why one of my goals was to buy a dress at Walmart. lol 
Been up since about 3:30, because my legs just give out and start hurting by 8:00, so i have to go to bed early. Believe it or not, there's plenty to do at that time of morning.  It takes me at least that long to get the fire going , eat breakfast, devotional, etc. By time hubby gets up, I'm done and ready to talk.
Today i should go swimming, but it's soooo cold.  Maybe it will warm up later.  Got a painting project I have to get finished ( it's a present).  
Went to meeting the other nite, and found it inspiring.  Was getting discouraged.  There  was couple there who had lost a good 150 a piece.  Hope for me.  
Well, have a great day , mine going to busy,. house cleaning. yuk! 

well, made it thru thanksgiving...I'll make it thru Christmas.  We are putting up decorations now.  Hubby on front porch stringing lights with grandson.  I trtied to have a little cookie party and tree decorating , but fell asleep before i go started.  I was exhausted.  Just don't have the energy to do anything.  by the time i prepare for something, I'm out of steam.  oh well, i keep hoping for the re energizing in 4 months, now.  My weight is staying the same the last three days, but sometimes it does that and then I'll drop a few lbs. Hope the happens again.  
I've been in the chat room off and on.  That's about the only contact I've had with anyone outside my counselor. i feel isolated. I've got to do something about that.  Anyone got any suggestions, I'm all ears.

and lost 3 lbs.  that's ok.  the chatroom really helped me stay in contact with ppl who were trying to stay on track, too.  i really appreciate all those who listened and just talked to me, so that i didn't feel so isolated.  especially since i am one of the few in my family who cares about their weight. not that i would if it had not come to a crisis point.  really didn't miss the food unless i was siting there staring at it and most of the time i just went into the living room where someone would wonder in to talk to me. 
we're putting up the tree tonite and decorations around the house ( been doing that a little on and off all day). have angels everywhere didn't realize i had such a collection of them.  need more nativity scenes.  only have one good one.
mother and i got along very well this trip., but i think her health is really failing.  she was in the hospital a wk. before we came.  she and i both over did it on the visiting.  id just have a hard time slowing down.
Not much else to say except Merry Christmas.

this was a bad idea.  I'm not ready for this trip.  I'm at my son's house and I am already  exhausted from just getting ready Monday and visiting with them yesterday.  I have 3 days to go.  i wasn't ready for this.  my legs are swollen and I'm already off my diet and was sick last nite.  had to take pain med for my legs before i could go to sleep.  I just don't have the stamina , yet , to do things like this.  it's 3:30 and I went to bed at 8:30 last nite and I'm still tired.  I've got a 3 hr trip ahead of me and 9 grand kids and a sick mother waiting on the other end who want alot of attention today that I can't give them.  oh well, I'm into it now, so I'll count my blessings and ride out  the storm.  ride, not paddle.  Hopefully, that will be enough.

Ho ho ho!  We're on lour way to the kid's houses for Thanksgiving and a touch of Christmas before we leave.  We give them their Christmas presents before we leave and when we arrive.  it's just party all the time with us.  Right thru new yrs.  I packed alllll my food and drinks and hope i can stay out of trouble when the goodies appear.  I'm sure my God will make a "way of escape" for me.  hope you all have a good Thanksgiving and see you soon.
Martha

here comes the "test".  Not just for me, but for my family.  Am i going to have to battle them or are they going to cooperate?  I already had my brother trying to figure out ways I could eat a holiday meal while I'm home.  We  are leaving tomorrow for a trip to see all the family.  I wasn't going this yr., but decided to go for a couple of days and not stay long in any one place.  I have laid down the law about food, we'll see if they comply.  If they don't i will just have to leave. I'm not going to torment myself to make them happy.  I've been thru tooooo much to foul it up now.  Fortunately , I am staying with people that are very weight conscious, so I'm safe at their house and that will be my safe haven to run to.  The rest of the family are food fanatics. Say a little prayer for me.  Have a great thanksgiving.
Martha49

I have a tendency to not quit when I'm tired.  i went shopping and there were racks of clothes on sale.  I am always looking for bargains for 13 grandchildren, so i kept searching thru the mounds of clothes, hoping to find some things they could use.  my feet were hurting, but i just kept on searching.  I came out with some good bargains, but they were not worth the price I paid in the pain in my legs.  i just can't walk and stand anymore, the way i use to.  I keep saying this, but not accepting it.  I have to.  the arthritis is too bad and my weight is too much for my legs to carry.   So my bargain hunting days are over.  that will make my hubby happy. I can't afford near the amount of clothes , without all that searching.  Oh well, it's time for me to scale down on the spending so he can retire. 
Other than that , it's been an uneventful day.  The grandkids came over for a little while and I slept most of the morning. I was so tired from yesterday.  I shopped about 2 hrs. and swam for 1 hr.  I can feel it today.   My legs were giving me  fits last night.  Lost two lbs. this morning, though.  that was a boost. The scales haven't moved it a bout 3 days. one more lb. and i will be down to 300.  Sounds like alot, but at 300 I don't look as obese as i did at 350.  I look a little more normal.  At  250, I won't stand out in a crowd as much.  I'm looking forward to that.  My tea is ready and got to get those liquids down.
Happy thanksgiving folks

I can't eat it anymore!!!  I've tried to spruce it up , spice it up, sauce it up and I've just built up an aversion to it.  Since I can't cover it up with cheese, it's all I can do to get it down.  i always thought I was a big meat eater, but i think I was a big fan of what went with it,  or the sauces on it.  Now I know why people eat those protein drinks.  Come to think of it, i have a few samples of that in my cabinet.  Maybe e that's the answer.  Substitute that for a meal, at least.
Today is doing what I'm suppose to do and trying now to get sidetracked.  I went in Walmart to buy groceries yesterday and came out with 50 dollars, at least, of children's clothes for the grand kids. Forgot half my groceries.
Today is babysit, swim and wash day.  Whoopee!
Hope ya'll have a great day.

This has been the most fragmented morning.  I can't get it together today.  I was going swimming and realized i was too late for that, so now I'm going grocery shopping, I guess.  My life is either not the same, or I didn't realize how unorganized it was.  I know I can do 3 things a day and I am tired.  Exercise, clean and shop.  That's it.  Then I have to take it easy.
I got on the scales and I had gained a lb. this morning.  Now I have not had that experience.  I don't think it could be from eating, cause I'm not eating enough to keep a bird alive.  I was a little surprised to say the least.
I did get in the chat room this morning.  I've been trying to do that for a while.  I already have been reprimanded for going too fast.  I'm used to on line chats.  Guess i overwhelmed some of them. 
Well, my day is ahead of me and I better get going.  Hope everyone has a great day.

If ever anything will cure you of your addictions...this will.  I was just told no more  dairy products.  Maybe some skim milk and cottage cheese, if I can tolerate it.  AAAAAugh!  I can't imagine no more cheese on anything. but my cholesterol should improve greatly. 
Well, it's time to get out and develop new interest.  Going to take an art/ creative writing course in January.  Volunteer for something admirable and become a productive citizen.  lol Like that is going to happen over nite.  i can't even get through a full day without a 2 hr. nap. 
Things have been coming up to the frontal lob of my brain lately.  I " feel".  Before i ate before I could feel anything. Resolving some things that have made me very afraid.  Wake up thinking about some of them in middle of nite.  had to determine I am only human and did best I could under trying circumstances.
Not being perfect has always been one of my fears.  It was expected when i was growing up and the consequences were of failure weren't pretty.  Being just human and fallible has always been a problem, because I sure am fallible. But something did happen in the hospital.  The first nite when I was in pain and wasn't sure what was going to happen next.  I began to get real serious about what really mattered in life.  People matter.  No mater that what they have done or said to me. That is their behavior, not their spirit.  i guess that was my reminder  of unconditional love. " Love no matter what". that same  love applies to me. God has told  me before to love my self no matter what, but I quit. I started putting unrealistic expectations on myself again and on others.  i stopped loving unconditionally.  Forgiveness is all that matters, we're all fallible.