MC83
9 weeks out
Jul 07, 2012
So here I am, 9 weeks out from my surgery, holding to having lost 41 pounds. It's frustrating, I feel like I need to lose everyday though I know that's ridiculous. I'm an obsessive weigher. I have been weighing everyday, sometimes multiple times a day, for the past few weeks and I have finally asked my husband to hide the scale from me. I will commit to weighing twice a month to track progress. It's so retarded that I must do that, but I feel like I can't stop myself. My days would be ruined from the time I got up if I hadn't lost weight. I feel like I should have lost at least 50lbs by now. I fear somehow I have ruined my surgery, that I've stretched my stoma, or that I will never see one hundred anything much less my lofty goal of 130lbs. I feel left out that I don't have a nutritionist like everyone else on here seems to have. I don't even know if my ins would cover one. I should find out. My surgeon's operation is very bare, his office staff consists of himself and his receptionist and I don't even know who will do my followup care such as labs. I have an appointment the 18th so I will ask if that just has to be done through my PCP. The days are weird. Sometimes I'm feeling great, knowing I can do this for the long haul, then others I'm pretty down and worried about everything. All I can do is make the right choices, take the supplements, exercise daily, and drink...I'm at the mercy of my body though as to if it will comply and lose the weight. I'm scared of my first big stall, it will kill me. I'm scared of losing 100lbs and just being done. This journey takes a huge toll psychologically :(
