meeshimo
Personal Power and Choice
Jun 18, 2010
When I mentioned months ago to a very close and dear friend of mine that I was going to have RNY bariatric surgery in an effort to cure my diabetes, she only had one question for me - "What will make this time different from all of the others that I will follow the rules and do what I am supposed to do?" When I first heard the question, I was angry and tried desperately to hop up on my soap box of indignation and righteousness, but in the end she had a point and I answered truthfully "I don't know". This question has been mulling over in my head and heart since it was first asked.I was finally able to answer the question last night.
I had a very real AHA moment yesterday as i was talking with a friend at work. We were discussing a friend of hers that is in the process of preparing for her surgery which is several months away. My friend wanted to connect us together as she thought I had a really great outlook and attitude about the surgery - and then came the moment.
I said to my friend that this whole journey is all about personal power and choice. I became the size I am and have the illness I do because I could not or would not stand up for myself and claim my personal power. I made choices based on emotional factors and tried to find solace, comfort, love and acceptance with poor judgement and desperation. I used food, money and drama to create the situation that i am in. I allowed others to influence my choices because I was afraid and lived in fear of abandonment.
I firmly said to my friend, "If you cannot stand up for yourself and claim your personal power you have no business doing this surgery." THIS was the AHA moment.
There are some people in my life that have stated that i should not have this surgery because I could die or something could go horribly wrong. Granted, this is a possibilty one that I have truly looked at and considered. While I can appreciate their concerns, I have to make my own choice and decision. Everything in the past few months has been about standing up for myself and claiming my personal power. Everything has been about this since my very insightful friend asked the question and the powers that be were trying to help me find the answer.
Question: "What will make this time different from all of the others that I will follow the rules and do what I am supposed to do?"
Answer: I am and will continue to stand up for myself and will revel in my personal power. I will stand in my truth, my power and make my own choices that are true to my authentic self. I will be who I am and enjoy the sweetness life has to offer. I will be ME.
