mehollid

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I'm out six months out and ive lost 103 from my highest of 367.  I had about 200lbs in excess weight so im half way there.  I have gone from a size 30 (since 28 was tight) down to about a 16/18.  My shoes and everything have gotten to big.  I feel shorter (maybe because of less meat on my feet.. lol) 

I have been going to the gym at least 4 times a week.  I have been an eliptical warrior... my best time is about 5.5 miles done in 1.25 hours.  I have now added in weight training to my workout and I have notice that my inches are flying off even when the weight has stayed the same.  From my waist alone I have lost about 15 inches.  Almost in the 30s for my waist and for my bmi.  Right now im at 265. 

I must say I dont regret the surgery what so ever.   I really believe it saved my life.  I wasnt living just exisiting.  This process has been difficult.  I have been told different things by family members in the beginning of this whole thing like the surgery was the easy way out or the LAZY way out.  Now I find those same members have been working to improve themself or even looking into surgery.  I have been told many things like I inspire others, that im doing a great job.  I have been walked by due to people not recognizing me.  Just yesturday I had many people come up to me and tell me im losing my butt.  I think people recognized me by the size of my butt before due to how many comments people made about they didnt recognize the little butt girl in the office.

Though I have a long way to go and at times it feels a little discouraging, i'm confident that I will make it to my goal.  I might have to adjust it as time goes on but I think one way or another I will make it there.   I keep in mind how far i have come and that i didnt put the weight on overnight and its not going to come off overnight. 

It definitely is a personal choice to have surgery or not but if you decide to do it, its worth it.   Just to be treated like a normal person.  For people to see me and want to talk to me.   Hold doors open.  Strike up conversations.  Its weird and sad that it takes that to be seen for who you really are but I know those are the realities.  This is the world we live in.  im loving the changes and i'm going to continue to work hard to get to my goal. 

I finally made it into the 280's.  Currently 287.  Its so weird little things that would have made me so uncomfortable before are 2nd nature now.  Like right now im typing on my couch on my laptop with my leg crossed over my knee and im totally comfortable.  As the days go by I have so much more energy.   I can work overtime at work, come pick up my little man from grandma's, run to the store with baby in tow, come home, cook, get little man in the tub, wash a few loads of clothes, put him to sleep and still have a ton of energy to spare.  I really wish now I would have stuck to my pre opt diet better.  I would be further along then I am right now.  But 80lbs lost in less than 4 months is more than I could have ever done without my tool.  I'm truly loving my RNY!

One thing that is a little weird is that I have this weird pain on the balls of my feet.  I lost a lot of weight on my feet.  I mean before they were like pizza dough, not they are slim and cute.  But I feel like im walking on bone!  I'm hoping when more weight comes off then that problem will be eliminated. 

I must confess im super obsessed with the scale.  The bad part is they have one at work and im on it all the time. 

I dont know if anybody else has added any additional supplements but right now i'm swearing by L carnitine.  It gives you energy and helps move your weight loss.  It helps remove fat from your body and build muscle.   I get the liquid form from GNC and it taste like cherry and is pretty inexpensive.  I drink 2 tablespoons every morning and I really do feel better.   i stopped taking it for like a month and i felt the difference. 

Also, I got really bad an exercising.  I use to be the eliptical queen but then I had a out of town funeral to go to and I never got back in the swing of exercising since.  Plus overtime at work got thrown in the mix and I go to bed so late its hard to get up in the morning.  But you know what, while the hubby and baby are out I think im going to get some exercise in now!  (walk from home on demand brighthouse network)

ps, did i mention I  my RNY??

I cannot believe how far I have come.  So far I have lost 78lbs.  My co-workers are starting to walk by me and not recongnize me.  People I have known for years!  It has been a crazy experience.  Its weird to have men flirt with me.  The other day at work the security guard was giving me a new badge and looked at my picture and said wow this picture doesnt do you justice, you much more beautiful in person.  I looked like deer caught in the headlights!  I'm like is this guy flirting with me?  People hold doors open for me.  Actually see and speak to me.  I guess i never realized how invisible I really was before.  But now there is no hiding from the world! 

A huge wow for me would be a pair of lane bryant pants I was trying to get in for the longest.  They are really nice work pants.  I tried them on and i was like ill give it a little more time and try it on again.  The next time i tried them on THEY DIDNT FIT!  They were HUGE!  I was sad and happy because I really wanted to wear the pants but now they are to big so im happy about that! LOL. 

I even inspired my sister to have the lapband sugery.  When Im working out people who see me go hard with the work outs come up to me and tell me im doing such a great job and they are actually trying to keep up with me.  These people have no idea i have even had any type of surgury.  I wouldnt do anything different except have the suregery done sooner.  It really saved my life.  I feel like im living and not just floating and exisiting. 

Even me and my husband relationship has gotten better.  I didnt know how things would work out.  I heard such bad things about wls and divorce.  But now we are starting to communicate more.  It really makes me happy. 

Hopefully the weightloss success will continue and ill have some more good updates to put here!

So I had my surgery, Everything went well.  I had some trouble coming out of the anestesia, but when I came out I was fine.  Got up, walked around.  Left the hospital the next day.  Everybody in the fam was super supportive.  Including my husband.  He has really been great.  He is even calling me a skinny bastard every time I tell him how much I lose.  it totally tickles me! 

Im wearing clothes I couldnt fit in a few years after 3 weeks.  I couldnt even shop at ross before the surgery.  ON mothers day i went to my my mothers house and tried on some of her clothes.  She gave me a 1x shirt and do you know that MF fit??  And looked GOOD!  Mothers day was the first time my mother seen me since the surgery and she saw the front of me and said wow you are definitely losing weight, then i turned around and walked away and she almost had a fit. "OH YES GIRL YOU ARE LOSING LOOK AT THAT BUTT!!" 

I have had a few wow moments.  I chose the b12 shots and I gave myself a shot which was  a wow for me that I was brave enough to do it on my own.  People say i have  my glow back again.  I just feel happy which is a wow.  I feel like im finding that pre marriage/mommy me.  I take pride in my appearence.  When I go out, I put in earrings and dress nice and make sure my ankles are all ashy. Though its only been 3 weeks i feel comfortable in my skin again.  I feel comfortable in my clothes.  Im glad I did something for myself and I do deserve it.  My family deserves a healthy mom and my husband deserves an energetic wife.  

Though I have lost the use of my scale due to a incident right before disneyworld which i was found in the bathroom naked weighin myself as everybody was ready to walk out the door, I can at least still measure my weightloss in my clothes.  Per my husband I can weigh myself in 2 weeks so i look forward to that.

I have been seeing a therapist on a regular basis and im thankful for her.  Any issues I have, i can go and just get it out.  She specializes in weight loss patients so she understands. 

Though this whole adventure has been full of ups and downs to date, i think overall im glad I did it.  Finally i can stop imagining what it would be like if i lost weight on my own and how life could be different for me by the end of the year to knowing that im busting my ass going to the gym every day and doing what im suppose to do and things WILL be different by the end of year. 

My major goal come hail or high waters is to get to 199.9 by 12/31/2010 (my bday is on 1/1/11and i turn 30!!)  I just realized how freaky that looked.  I want to see the 100's at least once in my 20s.  Yall pray I make it!

Ok,

so I was approved for surgery and i'm in the process of getting all my clearences.  My Pituitary gland issues are resolved so I thought it would be smooth sailing from here. 

Well, I got to my psych eval, and of course we all got issues and I thought hard about whether I should be truthful or say what they want to hear. 

Well, after careful thought, I want this surgery for an overall better me, not just for looks, so I went ahead and told how I really feel.  After reviewing all my paperwork and test, she thought I had a lot of food issues and suggested that I seek on going counseling regarding my issues and food before she would clear me. 

I knew I had issues but it really hits home when someone else agrees.  Well, I called my mother to tell her the news.  I was surprised when she told me that she agreed with the diagnosis.  I was expecting her to tell me that lady was crazy and that her baby was perfect!! 

My said she could see it in me because I bottle up everything and when something little happens I just explode.  It doesn't even matter what it is.  I just keep it all bottle in.  I just figured I was doing the right thing, Just keep going and deal with things but I have to admit that this life is becoming overwhelming.

I guess I always knew to be successful with this surgery I would need some counseling, but to hear someone else agree, just was a little weird for me.

My 1st appointment is May 15th at 7pm w/ my therapist.   Wish me luck!

Well, I got a call back from my surgeons office and they said the insurance company needed a 5 year history of my weight.  So they cancelled the case and I have to ultimately start all over from scratch.  They are going to resubmit my information to the insurance company with the weight history.  They said they cancelled it because if they didnt get the information in the time frame the insurance required then it would be denied and I have to go through an appeal so to avoid that It was cancelled all together. 

ON a high note, it only took approximately one week to get an answer back so next time around it shouldnt take so long.

However, I think i might hold off all together because I have an enlarged pituitary gland and it could possibly affect my weight loss and i dont want to blow my honeymoon period. Hopefully It wont take that long to get the issue resolved if its not that serious.  I just had my MRI w/ contrast which was a weird experience and I hate getting MRI's period because they stuff you in such a small space.   Even with an open MRI i still felt like the inner of a sausage.  I should get the results back this week and im making an appointment for an endocrinologist w/in the week.  The worse I've seen happen is surgery to fix the problem but mostly hormone therapy is used to decrease the glands size..  I dont know im speculating.  Hopefully it is just minor.

Anyhow, once i find out more ill update.

Ok,  I may be getting a little ahead of myself but I'm trying to get all the clearences I think im going to need out the way so when the insurance comes back with a decision I can be like I got all cleareances all ready to go!  Just pick one! 
Well, next week Dr Kims office will be submitting request for weight loss surgery to the insurance companies and im trying to get my doctor to give me a letter of necessity.  At the same time he wants to give me my clearence for surgery also.  Well he did some blood work and turns out

I MIGHT BE A DIABETIC!! :(  My sugar levels are off in my blood.  and im already have low Iron levels but they may be getting worse  :(  Even more of a reason to get the surgery so I wont have these problems any more.  I have been trying to prepare myself for surgery by taking my viatims (one a day twice a day)  Drinking more water and I need to go back to the gym do some SPINNING!

I'm just so stressed right now.  Between work and trying to get my surgery stuff and finding out all these new problems im just losing it a little.  But well see, its all about the process and working through the process. 

I have never wrote on my page but here goes...

today I heard back from Dr Kim's office at Celebration hospital.  I have been waiting a week to hear back from them about the cost and insurance qualifcations etc.  Well, They told me UHC only qualification is to be over 40 BMI and have a letter of medical necessity dont by your Primary Care Doctor.  Since my insurance has changed I now have a super crappy deductible of 2500 for the family plan and 5k out of pocket cost.  They said that i will end paying the 5k plus another 1100 for the bariatric program and the psyc lady that is not with any insurance company.  I wish I would have made the decision to do this before my insurance changed.  I would have ended up paying about 500!! but thats neither here nor there.  That time has now passed. 

Well I want to fast track this thing so tomorrow I'm going to get my physical done with my long term PCP and see if he can get me a letter together so I can fax it over and they can submit tomorrow to UHC for the final ok. 

They said it takes about 2-3 weeks to hear back but I heard others say it takes less time.  Ultimately they said once you get approval its good for a few months before you have to go through the whole process again so hopefully things will fall into place where I can go see my primary have the info submitted, find out a decision, speak with the nurse to see what test I will need like chest xray etc for clearance.  See the head doc, then get my preop and surgery date  I have to have everything paid by preopt time and im financing this with grad school refund money and tax return so hopefully both will be in by that time.   Im looking for a surgery date of March which if i get everything in, that could be a reality.

I'm really hoping this all works out.  I dont want to spend another year at this weight.  I want to do things with my son, not be the mommy that holds everything watching on the sidelines at the parks and the funspots while daddy and the kids go do the fun stuff.  I wanna do fun stuff to DAMMIT! :)  It will all be worth the effort once i drop all this weight!