Mendy2009

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today I feel icky...restless and nauseated. nervous and thrilled at the same time. wondering will it work for me. Can I really be successful? its encouraging to read the stories from the others who can gone down this path a head of me. Not one person has said they wouldn't do it again...they all said they were glad they had done it. I will be glad too.

 32 days and counting....Oct 5 2009 is my day for a new life. I doesn't seem real at this point but I know its going to happen. I have been getting ready, planning, and preparing. not much else to do. Day dream about my future which I haven't done in a long while. I have been just existing not living. breathing in and out without feeling anything. almost like some strange SiFi movie... But today....I can now plan for that future I only hoped for. What am I going to do with the rest of my life? Go back to school maybe. I don't want to continue in real estate...maybe go back to cutting hair. I am not much for sitting in an office. who knows what God has in store for me.

today was the long psych test 565 questions three handouts and 30 min with the Dr. Plus I meet with the Nut...I can only see a few areas that I will have a hard time with. small bites, chew chew chew my food, and dont drink with meals...Of course the sugar...when all the labs get back in two weeks I will get my surgery date...should be around the first week of Oct.

Well the weather was not the best but we still have a blast. My two daughters came out and my dearest friend its was her birthday as well. We had a real good time. We went swimming in the rain and played Wii sports resorts all weekend. Its off for Labs tomorrow am and then Thursday  for the psych exam and Nut counseling. I must say thanks to Jesus for making this possible for me. Extra life, life more abundant... Praise the Lord.

M

I saw Dr Friedman today. He gave me the complete run down. Since I am a self pay he said that I should be on the schd by the end of sept or first of oct... great... It all sounds good. I didnt have any questions since I have already tried for this 5 yrs ago and got all they way to two days before surgery... I completed all the pre-ops...So I see my Nut and
have my Phsyc exam next week and labs also. then on to three pre-op visits and one family Nut visit then I am ready today. I read the diet sheet and its  seems like 1/2 a cup of food as my regular diet for life seems slim. but I guess thats how you get slim. Dr said that I will end up at 140 -150 and that sounds fantastic. He thinks that I can probably cut my diabetic meds in half by the time I am down to that weight. maybe if I am really lucky get off them all together. since I have been on meds for 11 yrs he is not sure if I will be able to get off them completely. God knows all so I will wait on the report of the LORD...He said to me that I would be completely healed and I believe its thru this, that His Words will come to pass in my life. I am going to the beach for a few days to celebrate my birthday and my new life to come. so I will post when I get home.
M

 I can feel my stomach tightening up and my nerves are tense today. Tomorrow is the consultaion. I have to get past the idea that I will be rejected for this surgery. I can not think of any reason why they would that, but its so important to me to get this done. I know that it will give me more years of life and quality of life that I have not known for 20 yrs. I am so ready to start that each day  draging by... Tomorrow will be a better day when the Dr. visit is over and I have a plan to follow.
M

Today is monday.
back to all the little things that must get done. real life is on monday...realtiy time. I personally like soaking on sundays in the presence of God, however we must get up and work on  monday LOL. getting ready for my week, first dr appt wednesday. I have to drive 60 mins to get to the dr office. thursday it to the beach for a few days of fun in the SUN? yeah if Ana doenst come our way..  right now looks life big bend of FL. getting it. thats fine with me so long as my beach doesnt get it. LOL. Have a blessed and spirit filled day..
Mendy

Good Saturday Morning,
Tomorrow we get to go to the House of the Lord... Yippie... nothing better than the hours I spend in the presence of God. Sunday is the best day of the week for me. I take my focus off myself, my illness, my weight and focus on Him. I had a long talk with my family yesterday. I told them what I need from them and they are in agreement to help me and work with me if things get rough...I am praying and believing that God will be my support. He will deliver my from my unhealthy habits and this surgery is a tool to accomplish those goals. I too have told the Lord that for me to be more effective in ministry I need to lighter on my feet. Its hard to stand for longs periods of time to preach and pray with this weight, also I look forward to the day when I can get on my knees again...!!!!! God is a prayer answering God.

Have a Blessed day
M

I feel like I can see the sun peaking up over the horizon. its a glimer of hope. I see and read all the before and after pics with the blogs and wow it gives me such hope. I know several people who have had this proceedure and 50% of them are back at their begining weigth....can I beat the addictions, can I do it? I have accomplished a lot in my life, been strong when things seemed so dark....With God all things are possible!! I can do all things thru Christ who strenghtens me...well I have declared those scriptures over myself for years while dieting and exercising and I am still at the same weight for the past 14 yrs....God give me the faith and surety in you that I can do it.....

In a week I will find out how all this is going to happen and when, I sure hope its soon. I am so tired of living this life with all this weight. I know that once I lose some weight my attitude towards life will change. New opportunities will open up for me. I can accept invites to do things with family that I wont and cant do now. I use to love to go to the beach. I live near the most beautiful beach in the world and i dont go. its too hard on me to sit on the sand, walk in the heat and I look....well really bad in a swimsuit. however I am going to a condo on the beach next week for my birthday. 47. It will be my Last Birthday at this weight.....so take all the pics you want...I wont hide from the camera this time, knowing that these will be the last pics at this weight.