Michelle8885

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So, I knew this wasn't going to be  easy, but i never expected what I am going through. I have been overweight almost all of my relationship with my husband.  For the past 5 years I've been at minimum 100lbs heavier than him. And He was pretty supportive of me loosing weight until i started hitting around 250 ( i was 326 at my highest last year). Well now i'm down to 221 and It seems like he's really resenting me for some reason. I dont understand. he's not supportive, he doesn't compliment me. Hell he doesn't even say anything about my weight loss and every time i bring up that something new fits or that i'm feeling better or i can do something i couldn't do before he kinda shrugs it off or changes the subject. I know that mybody is ugly underneath my clothes, but clothes do a good job os consealing it so i can look halfway decent. Our sex life has gone down hill completly, we dont sleep in the same beda nymore. he sleeps on the couch. Part of me is wondering if hes found someone else at work (he just started a new job in january where he does work with females whereas before he never worked with females ever). I dont know what is going on. I thought that if i lost weight things would be better between us b/c i wouldn't be so self conscious about the way i look, but now i'm even more self concious because i feel like i'm still not good enough. THe only time or place i feel better is when i post pictures on here or on facebook. But thats b/c you are all like family and know what its like to go through this.
Ok, and so maybe i'm feeling a little guilty about this, but my Some people from highschool have been noticing my weightloss and last night my husbands cousin came over (haven't seen him in like two months) and he kinda leaned over and said "your looking really good, keep up the great work" Why can't MY HUSBAND tell me that. Why can't he make me feel good about myself. Sometimes i feel like he just doesn't want me to feel about myself at all and that as along as he can keep me down then I wont need anyone else.
So thats whats going on emotionally with me. But now onto the food issues. I hate food. i literally hate eating and i have to force myself to eat everyday. I never thought i would feel this way about food. sometimes i just drink my protein to get it in b/c i dont want to eat. For a while i was having issues with keeping food down and it was starting to effect my daily life. So i toned it back on what i was eating so that i could function again. I feel like i'm stuck in a rut right now.
as i've wrote before i'm bipolar and i've actually been off my meds since january b/c i kept throwing them up, but i recently started taking my meds again and they just can't work soon enough. I feel like i'm on the verge of a major freak out and i sit and stir in my head and my anxiety is through the roof thinking about everything all the time and my moods vary so much i just i could make it stop without drugging the crap out of myself.
well i gotta run. I need some coffee to get my but into gear!

I'm not sure if anyone here is interested but I have some clothes for sale since they are too big and in relatively good shape.
 If your interested Please take a look at my craigslist posting and we can figure somethign out for shipping.
thanks
http://buffalo.craigslist.org/clo/2947396965.html

I'm hoping thats a sign i'll do good with the gastric bypass now. Can't wait to start seeing the number go down. i dont really feel much different than i did before. so i guess we will see as we go. last night (day three after surgery) i was able to keep down some pudding. i shared it with my 8 month old so i didn't even eat the whole pudding cup. but it was the first thing i ate without throwing up. i threw up water the first day... gross.
then for lunch today i made some cinnamon oatmeal with vanilla protein powder... made a 1/3 of a cup which was too much... end up eating about three bites... well... about three teaspoons full, but i was full and still am hour later.

so as usual i'm posting in my blog b/c i found something i wanted for later use. it sounded good flourless crepes. so here is the receipe another OH Member posted... ( I take no credit for it at all)

• 2 Eggs or equivalent Egg subsitute
• 2 Tbsp Ricotta Cheese
• 1/2 tsp Vanilla Extract (optional)
• 1/2 tsp Splenda (optional
• I can't wait to try these once my pouch can actually hold food in it again.

298 lbs on the scale this morning :) loosing weight is fuN!

300.8 lbs is how much i wieghed in at this morning. Going to my surgeons office this afternoon for my fitness and nutrition course before surgery.
Have no idea whats in store for me there.

So here is how my weight loss has gone since starting the liquid diet
day 1 = 309.6
day 2 = 311.8

I do, it's actually pretty easy and you can control how tangy it turns out. I prefer it less tangy. I haven't been successful using skim milk but make it with 1%. This is what I do.

Supplies: milk, yogurt starter, stainless steel pot, crockpot with low setting, candy thermometer, strainer, glass bowl, coffee filters.

Stir together 3 tablespoons of good plain yogurt (with lots of good bacteria) and 2 tablespoons of milk,
set aside. Heat 1/2 gal milk just until it boils, stirring often, pour it into an unheated crockpot, cool to
105 degrees, stir in yogurt/milk mix from before, I also remove the skin that has formed on the top. Turn
the crockpot to warm (not low) if it's too hot it will kill the cultures and not make yogurt. Leave it on warm
for 7 hours or longer, the longer you leave it the more tangy it will become. After the desired amount
of time line a strainer with coffee filters and set over a bowl, pour the yogurt into the filter lined strainer
until you strain the amount of whey off to give you the desired thickness. Give it a good stir and you're
done.

If you don't have a crockpot that has a warm setting there are lots of alternative suggestions on the web

Here's what the American Society for Metabolic and Bariatric Surgery says you need to start with:

A multi with 100% of the RDA of most nutrients.  Take two a day.  Stay away from kids' vitamins and gummy vitamins, because those will not have what you need. Even though Flintstones says “complete” on the bottle, they really are not complete. They recommend a multi with iron. If you take a multi with no iron, you’ll need additional iron at a separate time. They say to start your multi as soon as you get home from the hospital.

1500-2000 mg calcium citrate.  Make sure it's citrate, not carbonate. That means no Caltrate and no Viactiv. They say you can wait up to one month to start your calcium – not that you should wait, just that you can.

18-27 mg iron for menstruating women, unless your labs show you need more. (If you’re using a multi with no iron, that would mean you’d need 54-63 50 mg iron.) We absorb carbonyl iron better than ferrous sulfate. Ferrous sulfate will also make you constipated. They say to start your iron as soon as you get home from the hospital.

B12.  You can use a sublingual, 350-500 mcg per day, a patch once a week, nasal spray once a week, or shots once a month.  Unless your labs show you need more. They say you can wait up to three months to start your B12 – not that you should wait, just that you can.

They say a B complex is optional.

Many people also need D3 so you should get your vitamin D level to find out if you do. Don’t take the prescription vitamin D, because it’s D2 and in oil so we will absorb very little of it. Now here's what I take:

I have been using ENS from Celebrate for my multi.  It's a powder you mix with water and it is a multi plus 500 mg calcium.  Lately I'm tired of it though.  I'm buying something like Centrum whenever I finally use all this up.

For additional calcium I use Upcal D, which is a powder you mix in a drink.  It has no taste.  I order it from Colonial Medical.  I also use the Calcet creamy bites from Celebrate and the caramel calcium chews from Bariatric Advantage which are yummy but expensive.

I use Sundown Perfect iron which I order from drugstore.com.  It is carbonyl iron and it does not cause constipation in most people.  I take it with vitamin C, whatever generic brand is cheap at the time I need to buy some.

I take B12 shots.

I take D3, vitamin A, zinc and magnesium oxide from vitalady.
 

I went ahead and made a facebook page for Wny on WLS. hoping to get a good sized group of people who want to talk online. the link is https://www.facebook.com/groups/WLSofWNY/#!/groups/142651832497514/
please add if you are from Buffalo NY and surrounding suburbs ... WNY

got the phone call from the insurance company..... the woman was very excited to tell me that i was approved. i was so excited that i told her she was my new bff. she wished me luck and sucess and hopes that this changes my life. i couldn't be happier right now. just waiting on my surgeons office to call me with the date now.
ahhhh sigh of releif that all this paperwork and waiting is over.... and now i will be able to start my new life. i cant wait.