Missy M.

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Well it's almost been two months and after having a horrible 4 week stall my scale finally jumped down 11 lbs!!!!  All in all emotionally I know this is the best decision I've made in my life.  Not only for me but for my family.  I wonder why I'm losing weight so slowly since normally in the past when I've dieted it's come off fast.  I'm trying to get in all my protein and I'm slowly getting in all my water.  I switched from disolvable B12 to the shot.  And I'm exercising like crazy changing it up with weights and cardio.  I got a personal trainer and I get to meet with him next week for the first time for our first session.  I'm struggling with finding foods that I can eat.  It seems like everything is so repetitive and I'm getting tired of the same foods.  I've only had 2 episodes of where a food got stuck and I had to make myself throw it up.  That was unpleasant in itself but I think the pain of it being stuck was worse!!!!  I'm hoping with keeping up the exercising and taking in a little more the weight will keep coming off.  I just have to look at it as a success and not a failure.  Almost 40 lbs in less than 2 months is something I've never done before.  I think I'm also getting a little more self confidence back too!!!!!

Well as difficult as it is to write this it's becoming easier for me to talk about my weight.  I've struggled with my weight almost my whole life.  I was heavy all through my school years and even though I had plenty of friends it was very hard emotionally.  I was always getting made fun of and constantly teased about my weight and of course fueled that depression with food.  I've always been a 'closet eater.'  I would sneak food into my room and eat alone.  Or, I would binge.  I would not eat balanced meals through the day so by the time I got home I would just eat anything and everything.  My family does have a history with obesity but it's time I break this habit and take control of my life.  I'm 30 years old, happily married to a very supportive 'healthy weight' man.  We have one son Landon who is my pride and joy.  It breaks my hear that because of my weight I feel like I can't keep up with him and do the things he loves to do, like play outside and run!!!  And of course I need to be selfish and say that I want to have small, cute clothes.  What girly girl doesn't???  I'm currently at 290 which when I first started my process I weighed in at 313.  I was asked to lose 20 lbs prior to surgery.  I look forward to having the surgery and hoping that it doesn't 'fix' my problem but gives me the tool I need to continue and happy and healthy lifestyle.  I have become so much more aware of what I'm eating and why I'm eating and I can't ever believe I used food for happiness.  I now look forward to the summer where hopefully I'll be down enough to visit an amusement park with my family and fit on an airplane without having to be embarrassed.  My surgery is scheduled for March 24, 2010 at the University of Minnesota Fairview with Dr. Sayeed Ikrammuddin.  I can hardly wait to start my life over and feel blessed to have been given this chance!!!!!!!!