Moj_ Patti

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From my post last Sunday:

Yesterday I had a truly delightful experience that I'm blaming on sorbitol. You know sorbitol -- that sweetener that the food industry puts in lots of sugar free stuff. Personally, my limit is about 1 tablespoon of sorbitol-based sugar free pancake syrup or one sugar free candy. Anymore than that and I can't be far from a bathroom. I have now decided my non-WLS mother's limit is zero. She can't even be in the same room with the stuff.

Anyway, this story will probably be TMI for some.

Mom is diabetic. Yesterday morning I had to take her in for fasting labs that she has to do before she sees her doctor quarterly. After the labs, she is usually ready to eat the seats out of my car.

So, after her labs I ask her where she wants to eat. She says IHOP.  Other than maybe Baskin Robbins, it is probably the worst chain restaurant in the world for a postop to visit. I didn't like it much even when I was preop. But I know better than to argue with her when her blood sugar is low.

From my postop-protein-needin'-carb-avoidin' perspective, looking at the menu was painful. How can they sell this crap to people? Why do people eat it?

They do list the calories in everything. They put pancake batter in everything -- it's even in most of the omelettes. The fruity stuff is loaded with sugar. Unbelievably, the chocolate chip pancakes were lower cal compared to most of the others (still don't want to think about the carbs). And the healthy grains pancakes have walnuts in them. I'm allergic to walnuts.

We ordered (she ordered a seniors item for me, and I ordered her sampler platter because I've heard they can be nazis about who can order senior stuff). I figured I'd eat the egg and ham and limit myself to one bite of pancakes (my doctor does not forbid carbs, they just have you eat protein first).

[I did see the 'diet' foods on the back of the menu about 1.5 seconds after we were done ordering.]

Food comes. She starts pouring sugar free syrup all over her sausage and pancakes. She also put some butter pecan syrup on her pancakes -- she is a total sugar addict, after all. I'm not the food police.

When we're done, we went to Lowe's. She picked out a new toaster. Before we left the appliance dept, I asked her if she needed to use the restroom because we were close -- no.

I had to pick up a couple more things, so I asked her to go up to the front of the store and wait for me. She uses a walker, doesn't move fast, and gets tired out quickly.

When I found her about 10 minutes later she was sitting on her walker by the main entrance. She stands up, something shifts internally and and she sez: "where's the bathroom?" Moving a lot quicker than normal, we go to the back of the store and she goes in. I wait. And wait. And wait. Something is wrong -- it shouldn't be taking this long. I go in.

She's in the handicapped stall with her pants off. Her Depends is folded up on her walker's seat, but it's loaded. There is poop all over her legs, her support stockings, her shoes, her pants (in a ball on the floor), the walker's seat, the toilet seat, the outside of the bowl, the floor. It's one of those times where I'm totally screaming inside --- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo! My pouch that was iffy from the crap IHOP food just sort of flipped over and went bleeeehhhhh. I'm surprised I didn't throw up.

I pitch the Depends in the trash. I try to wash some of it out of her pants, but there's just too much -- and they're light blue!

I asked her to stay inside the handicapped stall. I scrub my hands. I walk out of the bathroom mortified. I see a female Lowe's employee in the floor covering section. I told her what had happened and that I was going to go get her a new pair of pants at Target. She said she'd tell the Customer Service Desk. 

I walk across the parking lot to Target and they don't have carry women's larger sizes. Mom is a 20, but I don't have any idea what that equals in the unnumbered regular women's clothing. I finally dig out a regular women's 2X pair of sweats (it is 95 degrees outside) out of a stack. Please, God, let these fit her.

I stopped at my car on the way back and grabbed a bag of baby wipes.

Back to Lowe's.

Mom is sitting on her walker right next to the sinks wearing her spare Depends. Her pants are in a ball on the floor. Two little girls went in right before me -- they didn't know what was going on. I'm just thankful that they went in about 10 seconds before me so I could take over the situation. Otherwise, who knows what they would have done. ("Maaaaaahhhm!! There's a creepy old lady sitting in the bathroom in her underwear!")

I took Mom back into the stall. Cleaned her up. Cleaned up the stall as much as I could. Cleaned her Crocs. Got her into the sweats (actually a bit big). And out the door.

Needless to say, we won't be going back to that Lowe's ever. Maybe this experience exorcised IHOP from Mom's consciousness (hopefully).

I looked up the Smucker's sugar free pancake syrup. Number two ingredient-- sorbitol. It's basically sorbitol and artificial flavoring.

Thursday was my 40th birthday. We were going to be in Las Vegas because I had bought concert tix for my hubbie's birthday in June, so I figured I'd treat myself. I scheduled a massage, facial, eyebrows, mani/pedi and a haircut at one the 'locals' salons in Las Vegas. This is the third time I've ever had a massage in my life and the second facial.

Oh, it was so nice.

Hubby stayed with the 3-year-old at the hotel (Platinum Hotel -- very wonderful place for people of size, if you know what I mean). I am married to a saint. But the 3-year-old will not be going back to Lost Wages until she's 21.

I showed up early. The receptionist took me back to the dressing room. They didn't have any robes bigger than L in the dressing room, so I went and asked the receptionist about getting a bigger robe. I was sooo nervous about this stupid thing. She brought back a 2X. (I should have given her a $10 tip.)

It fit well on the top, but there was little gapping in the front when I sat down because of my enormous panni (you couldn't see anything w/ my undies).  But I made it work. My butt actually fit in the WICKER chairs in the very serene waiting room.

Debbie the masseuse was wonderful. She could tell I was a little nervous. She gave me a hug and got to work. I swear my hips were smaller when she was done. Debbie did say that I might feel kind of icky because of all the toxins that were being released. Usually I just smile and nod my head when people say things like that, but I was pretty emotional later that evening (and Steely Dan has never been my thing).

Anyway, went in for my eyebrows/facial. I can't remember her name, but she was about 6 feet tall with really long blond hair. Skinny as a rail. But very nice. She had me put on one of those terry wrap things under my arms and get under some covers. I nearly fell asleep.

My eyebrows now look exactly like normal people's eyebrows instead of the fuzzy, graying caterpillars that I normally have. I'm going to take a picture so I can give it to whoever does it for me in the future. She just looked at my face and could tell my skin was sensitive. She must have put 35 different things on my face. She also seriously massaged my neck and shoulders. Wow! That was even better than Debbie's job on me.

I changed back into my street clothes and went out for my mani/pedi. The mani was a manicure. I've never been a girly girl, so it wasn't a big deal. But she did a great job on my industrial strength calluses during the pedicure.

Then I got a haircut. I told the stylist that I'd had surgery, my hair was falling out and growing back in at the same time and I needed to do something because I was starting to look like a thinning Cousin It. She washed my hair, snip snip, styled it and I couldn't see my scalp in the front anymore.  It was the quickest I ever spent $60 for a haircut, but she was a real professional. It's too bad I live 3 hours away.

So, with all the treatments, tips and buying three products I blew $400. But you only have one 40th birthday. (And the dining with a 5-month-old pouch and a 3-year-old completely sucked so I had to do something to celebrate.)

Only two fat unfriendly issues: a patron who was holding forth about how sumo wrestlers were completely gross and unhealthy (he was getting his short cropped hair frosted to look distinguished -- pretty ridiculous). That's not the salon's fault.

And the person who handled me at payment time looked like she expected me to give everyone a 50 cent tip and then my card would be declined.

The nail polish was a waste of time -- my nails grow so fast that they already need a "fill." And I dinked my toe nail when I was pumping gas after the appointment. But, overall -- a great experience.

Well, I did okay with my followup appointment today. I didn't actually see my surgeon, just his P.A. which was fine with me.

She said my weight loss was good. According to their scale, I'm down 75 pounds.

She was a little concerned that I was eating too much protein. They only want me to get 60 g/day.  I think I'm averaging about 80 to 90 a day. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. What I'm doing is working right for me now.

They don't care about calories, carbs, or fat (which I still find very strange). We talked about vitamins some. No changes there.

However, they never received the results from my blood work I had done in May.

After the appointment, I went to a store that specializes in running equipment. I wanted to get some decent running shoes to use when I walk. Maybe my body mechanics have changed some already. The store guy didn't believe me when I said that I usually roll out with my feet when I walk. He had me take my crappo shoes off and walk around the store a little bit.

I tried on four pairs and found something I liked. They recycled my crappo New Balance shoes, which was good because I was tempted to burn them. The crappo shoes were size 10. The ones I bought today are 8 1/2. No wonder the crappo ones hurt my feet.

Then I went to Whole Foods and bought some chow. I love their cold deli section. They had my favorite curry chicken salad. I hope my pouch can handle it. I had a tofu spring roll with a rice paper wrapper for dinner. It was pretty yummy. I was disappointed in that they didn't have smoked halibut. I'm craving that big time.

I got home at 9:15 p.m. (joys of living 90 miles from my doctor's office and the Whole Foods I went to). Anyway, I'm starting to babble, so I'm going to bed.

I grew up in a tiny town that was starting to die. When I was real young, you could still buy clothes, fabric and shoes there. By the time I was about 10, the shoe store and the one clothing store that had kid size clothes were closed (not that I could probably wear anything he sold by that time anyway -- I weighed 100 pounds in 4th grade.)

Anyway, we ended up having to drive about 45 miles one way to big metropolis of Lancaster to do our shopping for school clothes. They had a Kmart, a Gemco, and eventually got a Target and a Mervyn's before I got into high school.

Mom would make a day out of it. She'd TAKE A DAY OFF OF WORK! She'd only take one or two kids at a time (of the four of us). We'd leave early, eat breakfast at the Pancake House in Mojave, and be in Lancaster to open the stores. We'd shop for a few hours. Then we'd get lunch at Bob's Big Boy (something fattening + fries + chocolate hot fudge cake). Then shop until maybe 3. Start heading home the back way, stop in Hi Vista for a 6-pack of the world's coldest Pepsi.

So, maybe 10 hours. 7 billion calories... anyway it was an event!! It was probably the only time I had my mom to myself during the whole year. We did this once a year. (My school friends thought I was nuts when I'd tell them I only went to Lancaster once a year -- their parents took them several times a month.)

In my mind, a trip to Lancaster became a food holiday. The problem was, in 1998 I moved about 10 miles away from Lancaster. The food holiday mentality did get shortened to just a single meal or a snack, but it was every damn time I went there (at least once a week, maybe three times), regardless of when my last meal happened.

Naturally, since the surgery, I've had to adjust. Right now, there just isn't much in the drive thru that appeals any more. I know that might change. It is so strange to me to be in the burg of Lancaster and not in the drive thru at Del Taco. I'm not even getting iced tea in the drive thrus much anymore (okay, I will get it at Starbucks or Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf).

I'm making a conscious effort to have water in the car at all times. I think that helps. But I know when the hunger comes back, I will have to work on it. Very strange these things that get stuck in our heads!

Okay, lately I've been weighing everyday because I feel smaller.   I know, I know. I need to listen to my own advice.

I'm actually wearing a pair of size 28 jeans right now -- couldn't breathe in them two weeks ago. These are the stretchy kind, so let's not call it a real 28. But I am losing inches.

However, it is incredibly frustrating to me that the only days I see a drop on the scale immediately follows a day that I didn't exercise.

I'm thinking I need to up my calories on the days I do exercise. Right now, I'm getting in around 1000 calories a day. Maybe I'll drink an extra protein drink on those days.

AND.... yesterday I was obsessing about carbs.  I sooooo wanted a homemade peanut butter cookie. If the peanut butter cookies at Subway had looked like a homemade peanut butter cookie, with the crossed fork marks, I would have probably succumbed yesterday (see my post to the RNY forum).

Maybe I can find a recipe for low carb protein peanut butter cookies? I'll have to look.

B complex vitamins -- OMG!

At my last support group meeting I mentioned that I was bruising easily and had started taking Vitamin K2 to help. One of the ladies suggested B vitamins.

I finally was able to get to a store where I could buy some yesterday. I took my first one yesterday afternoon and it's like night and day difference. It might be a placebo effect right now, but I have a lot more energy already. I'm thinking a little clearer as well. 

This is almost disturbing considering the tiny amount of sleep I got Saturday night -- maybe three hours. Then tack on a hour nap Sunday afternoon.

Brew 1/2 cup of Moroccan Mint tea double strong (enough tea for a full cup). Let it cool. Mix ice cubes, a scoop of unflavored protein powder, skim milk, and one serving worth of sugar free fat free vanilla milk powder in a cup blender.

I got the Moroccan Mint tea and the sugar free fat free vanilla milk powder at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, a coffee house chain here in Southern California. However, I have seen the Moroccan mint tea for sale in supermarkets. And you could pretty easily substitute a scoop of normal vanilla protein powder for the unflavored plus the vanilla powder.

I think next time I'll make it with the sugar free fat free chocolate powder I got at Coffee Bean. One of the baristas at Coffee Bean made it special for me like that once.

I haven't found a vanilla or chocolate protein powder I can handle. But I love the unflavored ISOPURE (natch, the most expensive one I've found). It mixes real well with the flavored powders.

I got a brilliant idea to make myself a Moroccan mint (green tea) based protein drink right after dinner. I made the tea and left it on the counter to cool.

At 9 p.m., I saw it and remembered. So I throw everything in the blender cup. Then I drink it up.

I know this: I don't drink iced tea after 6 p.m. for a reason. I am going to be such a zombie tomorrow. I need to go to bed now. But I'm WIDE AWAKE!! AUUUGHHH!

But I did have a NSV today. I scrubbed the floor in my hot utility room without keeling over. I wasn't tired at all afterwards.

I'm putting this here so I can find it later. This was in response to a post from someone who was starting her journey toward getting WLS and thought she would really miss food.

An alcoholic can avoid bars. A smoker can find something else to do right after a meal (or whenever it was that they would smoke). A drug addict can change the people they hang around with to discourage himself from imbibing again. I'm not saying giving up these things are easy for anyone. However, unfortunately, we food addicts still need to eat after we have the surgery.

It took me forever to get to have the surgery. And I admit most of that time I was on my farewell to food tour. I tried to eat everything I figured I'd never be able to eat again. I really don't know how much I gained before I got on the scale at my surgeons, but thankfully I was able to more or less maintain for the last 11 months.

I'm now 3+ months out from an RNY. It's a huge adjustment. There are a lot of things I can't eat now. For example, due to lack of planning (and secretly my food addiction rearing its head), I tried to eat a sausage and egg McMuffin. I took one bite of the egg and one bite of the sausage before my stomach said "No way." But I've found other things I love -- a 1/4 of a multigrain pancake slathered with greek yogurt and sf cherry syrup. I don't eat a whole lot, but I savor what I can eat. 

And I hope that quality vs quantity idea will help me when I get to the point where I can eat crap like a McMuffin again.

You have to decide that you are more important than the food. 

You also need to realize that weight loss surgery is just a tool. If you don't work on the reasons why you eat, you will not succeed. Not to be harsh, but your failed VGB might be evidence you need to work on the head stuff more. (HUG)

I know personally that food was a crutch that got me through the loss of my father when I was eight. It comforted me whenever something unpleasant happened in the thirty years since. Eventually, it became part of a cycle: I ate to feel better about myself because I was fat and I was fat because I ate too much crap.

Best of luck on your journey!

I know that for me [RNY] was the third best thing that ever happened in my life (meeting my husband and having my baby are tied for first place).

Whine: I'm sooooo frustrated with exercise. Right now I'm alternating between my exercise bike and walking.

The recumbent bike is convenient, but I can't get consistently get my heart rate up to 107+ when I use it. I used to think it had something to do with my blood pressure meds. BUT I'M NOT TAKING THOSE ANYMORE.  And the last time I upped the intensity I did something to my ankle.

I can sometimes get my heart rate up where it needs to be walking. However, it seems like every other time I walk, I do something to either an ankle or my knees. Right now I have Salonpas strips on both knees from walking on Thursday morning.  GRRRRR. I went grocery shopping yesterday morning and after I came home, I was hobbling around the house the rest of the day. I don't like taking lots of Tylenol, so I try to suffer through.

I am capable of getting the "runners high" thing that people talk about. I enjoy my early morning walks. This is soooo annoying.

And, to segue into another rant: I know you're not supposed to compare yourself to others, but I see lots of people near my preop size who had the surgery relatively close to me and they're down 90 pounds or more. I'm down 66 pounds from my start, but only 43 since the morning of my surgery April 3rd.