Kiley & I walked the loop!!!

May 07, 2009

Kiley and I walked for 20 minutes this afternoon...then I sat at the ballfied for almost 3 hours, but I did it.  We made the loop, I was tired, but it was a good start.  I want to go to the Y in the morning.  I really want to lose the weight forever....I don't want to have health problems, and body pains, and not be able to keep up with Kiley, and I don't want to be fat!  I want to feel confident about what I look like and I want to wear cute clothes.  I am hungry.  I have been trying to drink more water every time I feel hungry.  I am afraid that the weight loss place will expect me to have lost more when I go in next week to get my first fill.  I try to remember it has only been 22 days since my surgery date and I have lost around 24 pounds.  Sometimes I weigh 224, then the next day it may be 227 or close to 230.  I am starting to eat, but I am logging it.  I want to take Kiley to walk more often, I would love to get to 4 times a week.  I have not thought about it in years but I want to get to were I can run, maybe someday even in a marathon or to be able to hike in the mountains and camp out.

The ugliest part of my body is my stomach, when I was 9 months pregnant with Kiley, I was a passenger in a car accident.  Were the seat belt went across my stomach I bruised really, really bad.  It looked like a leather bet about 3 inches wide across my full term pregnant belly.  My stretch marks busted,  It caused me to have horizontal stretch marks in the verticle scretch marks I had from pregnancy. then when Kiley was born I had to have an emergency c section, full cut.  I also have to be responsible, I have not been good to my body...I like to cook, eat, entertain, make special treats, go out to eat....right now it is also a few days before my period and I am craving sweets...brownies.   I have been good there is stuff in my home for my family that would be bad for me to eat!!! chips & debbie cakes.  Tonight at the ball field the grease smell made me nauses...I can't stand that smell, my daughter Jennifer said it smell like funnel cake,  it smelled gross to me.  To the point it left a bad taste in my mouth. anyway back to the belly, I found out the best exercise to target that area is reverse crutches...I am going to do some!

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