newlife68
July 16th, 2009
Jul 15, 2009
soo things are falling into place....
Just to recap/update. I had been having some huge issue's with pain, unexplained, undiagnosed but very obvious stomach pain. I had been thru a battery of test for months with no diagnosis or even and explanation. That pushed me into looking into WLS, I was preparing to have exploratory surgery to see if the pain could be located, while in there I would have the VBG done. I had VBG in May of 2004, my check in weight at the hospital the day of was 299, the highest I had ever been, the worst I have ever felt. Because of the exploratory surgery, I was opened up, everything taken out and inspected and then the band was put into place. Still no explanation for the pain. I spent several day's in the hospital and then returned home to 6 weeks of recovery. It was long and difficult, I still had to be a single mom to 3 small children. But I managed. With alot of hard work and determination I had lost 100lbs! I felt awsome, and I looked great considering I still wanted to loose more.
Slowly drama started to creep into my life.. drama that spun me out of control. I started having problems keeping food down, I was purging several time's a week, I was building a new house, I was moving, I was not sleeping, and eventually drama with the x and then a change in job situations I thought put me over the top. I was vomiting almost daily, nothing was staying down, diagnosed with some back issue's that will someday lead me to surgery I was upside down and feeling lost. I resorted back to old habits, the several pepsi's a day, along with chip's and chocolate became my safety and security and really it seemed to be the things that stayed down the best.
I slowly got some things straightened out and thought now that I was getting better sleep, back pain on hold, job situation worked out and no more drama with the x, that I would be able to get back on track, That was in January of 2009.
It's now July of 2009 and what I have found out is that my vomiting was NOT a result of all the drama and craziness, it has been determined that I have scar tissue that is blocking the opening into my stomach and therefor I am not able to get food down or into my stomach it sit's in my esophagus and well all the vomitting has caused a tear, so reflux is a daily issue! I saw my surgeon and it was determined that they would do and endoscopy with dilation and try to move the scar tissue out of the way so that I could get back on track. After 3 procedure's, 3 weeks in a row it was determined that the scar tissue was not going to move and it was onto plan b.
Yesterday July 15th I saw my surgeon and I will be having my revision surgery in september. Insurance has already approved (quickly I might add) I am going from a VBG to a gastric bypass.
I am scared, I am nervous, I am excited..soo many emotions that im not really sure how I feel from one minute to the next. I am scared and nervous because I have to be opened up again and I am not looking forward to that long and painfull recovery. I am excited to have a "2nd chance" so to speak. I am mentally preparing myself to get healthy, get back on track, to work out and excersize and do all the things that I have fallen back on. I know that it will be a little harder for me, my body has grown accustomed to vomitting and that wont' stop immediately (as the dr so kindly reminded me) and I have gotten use to forcing myself to eat, KNOWING it would be painfull and the outcome would be that I would vomit anyway! I am looking to co-workers that have already had this surgery for support and to hear what has and hasn't worked for them. I want to loose more weight and to feel even better about myself. I know that mentally is going to be the biggest and hardest area to work on, but I am going to do it! I have to do it!
I dont have my actual surgery date, I should have that today or tomorrow, but I have an end in site and that's hope no matter how you look at it.
Today is today, tomorrow is another bright and beautiful day full of hope and dreams that are possible and attainable.
