nuttiwebgal

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

Just home from Florida...we went down there with a friend of mine...Dean and I had the most romantic time....
we walked on the beach at night holding hands and he wrote our names in the sand in a heart! so sweet.
my weight still hangs out around 200 although I did manage to put on 5lbs while away.  I'm very satisfied with my WLS results. my skin is another thing. it is most inconvenient while sleeping...I dint lay flat. I have to adjust the skin before falling asleep and ohh my if I move around in my sleep...BAAD back aches in the am. but it works itself out while taking care of the pups. ....

I am almost 3 yrs out...I do NOT regret my WLS...it not only saved my life I got a 2nd chance at living....if you read this and are trying to decide if surgery is for you.....
WLS is LIFE altering
you will NOT be able to eat all the things you used to and NOT as much as you did...this is a GOOD thing.
You WILL have "buyers remorse" but the benefits of living over existing....well only you can be the judge of that.
you will hear ALL the "stories" they can be scary...bad things can happen....BUT as an obese person cant bad things happen quickly ?...I for one was SOOO scared of having to be cut out of my house if I ever fell or passed out when I weighed  over 500lbs....I think that most of all motivated me to start looking for a surgeon...I knew it was only a matter of time and something bad was going to happen to me...
I was dying.
When I cant eat the food I crave for whatever reason....grease and sugar can make me feel SICK.....I am HAPPY...because after a few times of really being sick...those items of food no longer interest me...at ALL. I finally have some power over things I should NOT eat!  Lets face it if I would have had the power to say no without surgery I wouldnt have weighed over 500lbs.
 WLS is NOT an easy way out of dieting...it is the ultimate diet always working for you in your favor if you use it correctly.
Understand your proceedure and what it will mean to the rest of your life when making your choice....
Good luck to all making the hardest choice...to live or to LIVE!
Nutti/Lynette

today is the anniversery of my life saving/giving WLS
I am celebrating by going to my job...after I get home tonight I will move the party out to the pool. in 2 yrs I have lost around 260lbs. I had wanted to see myself under 200 but I find myself hanging out between 203 and 210....mostly staying around the 200 mark. I have so much extra skin that if I were to have it removed I know I would be around 170 and yes I DO have that much skin.
the arms are probably around 2 or 3 lbs each of skin...the tummy hangs down ALOT have to wear support underware for the hernia..by this winter if all the exersize im doing doesnt get my body in better shape I am investing in some spanx to wear...I hear that is real support and inche remover underwear. my thighs are bad...but I can walk without them rubbing together....and my calves are loosy goosy tooo...what does one do abut excess skin on the calves?
my goal at this point is not so much to loose more weight but to start toning and defining my muscles...it makes real sense to me...that if and when I am able to have any PS done that I should start out with some real muscle definition for the dr to work with and maybe the healing from that wont be so hard....but for now PS is not even in the thought process
  so how has life changed for me??? how has it NOT??
 I can WALK...no more riding the buggies at Wal-marts or anyother place I want to shop.
I can climb out of my pool....and have been swiming twice a day for the last 2 weeks...great for the arms and legs
I can Hula Hoop...LOL yes thats what I said... I am very into my hula hoops. I cant do anything fancy but Im real proud of myself that I can do it at all.
 no more sitting on the potty to brush my teeth or fix my hair
no more contortions to wipe my own hiney...no more planning ahead to do simple things like grocery shopping or window shopping with the daughter.
no more sleeping in a recliner...Im not sleeping in a regular bed yet but I do have one of those double air mattresses used for camping that is very comfy and if DH leaves some air out allows for me to lay flat with few adjustments to the skin.
no more Bi-pap machine for me
LOTS more SEX...lol I had to put that one in there...after being with the same guy for 26 yrs and all that my weight has put us through we are like teenagers again and its wonderful. 
I LOVE TO SHOP for MEEEE
 I love to go to a store and look around know if I find something I want I can buy it for myself and wear it also. of course the kid hates this...LOL...actually she like shoppping with me..coz she doesnt like it when I find something to "young" for me.
LOL I dont care if Im too old to wear something...the fact is its been so long since I could wear anything I WANT too that I DO!!
I dont have to make sure I have someone go with me...I no longer worry about falling(getting up) or having to walk if I were to run out of gas or have a flat tire.
no wheel chair or cane.
I havent bought some high heel shoes YET but its comming Im sure
my yard looks better than it has in years because I have been out there trimming bushes and planting flowers,.
another something I havent done in years.
I am Happy about all the things i can do that I had taken for granted beforew I got to fat to do them at all.
NOW I dont take anything for grated...life is fragile and short...time to go live it again!
Watch out world...there is noo stopping me.
nutti/Lynette

Well I finally made the call....I have my first consult with a Plastic Surgeon I found out about 3 days before my incident at work that I still have medicare coverage and than a few days ago I was overheard talking about wanting some PS and how no Dr around here did the type I need or take medicare and a listener piped up and told me about a Dr in Springfield who is taking medicare and does the pannilectomy so I gave the office a call and yes all that info was true and I have an appointment for April first... at first it wasnt going to happen...the receptionest asked me how much I weigh...I told her around 210 give or take...she said oh well he may want you to loose more before he sees you Im like hun...I weighed over 500lbs for almost 3 yrs IVE GOT SKIN! I carried over 300 for all of my adult life...IVE GOT SKIN!!! LOL also..I have been basicly this same weight for about 6 months and with my hernia I am unable to do the kind of excersizes needed for more weight loss and because of the skin weighing me down in front my back protests daily so its my hope that all of the back issues I have will be enough for at least my lower half to be done...whatever that means...thigh lift,pannilectomy,butt lift. keeping my fingers crossed. the next step is to take photos....I have some taken before I had my surgery in my bathing suit and it is not pretty...as it isnt pretty now...LOL but the fact is...skin stretches and although I KNEW it was going to be a fact of my WLS you never KNOW until you actually know. yanno??? so even though I HATE...HATE... the mere hint of more surgery I am willing and wanting to do it at least this one last time to be healthier. I hide it well in my clothes but its there and Im now ready to take the next step...at least find out what needs to be done and IF medicare will pay for it. today I am wearing my size 16 jeans bought from the Mall....makes me wonder what size I will wear after PS....intriguing nutti nutti's minis http://community.webshots.com/user/nuttiwebgal all things nutti http://www.geocities.com/nutiwebgal/      Full Edit Quick Edit

well the new job didnt last long....they laid 45 of us off on Jan 5th
I did quailify for unemployment but havent decided if I want to find another job or if I want to go back to school.
seems like if Im gonna do it I should do it now.
the kids got moved! I am so happy! they now have a place of their own to mess up and yell and scream in...of course Im talking about the momma and not the precious babies! I miss them like crazy but it is sooo good to have quiet in my house!
I am still hanging out at 215-220...is it a stall? am I done? I dont know but Im not worried about it.
the way I figure it I got about 30lbs of excess skin hanging around my deflated body and if it were removed I would be way under my 199 Wl goal....I have upped my bike riding to 25 mins a day and upped the protien.
  I have to admit I am slidding back into old ways...its scary and its frustrating but again after all I have been trhrough I know it will all work out...because this time I recognise the bad behaviors and can curb them.
during the holiday season I didnt try and watch myself but now Im back on  track. very mindful of my calorie and protien intake
also started doing arm excersizes with hand weights in an effort to tone up these bat wings.
 its cold,snowy and icy..good time to stay in the house and excersize!
nutti
.

for once in my life my New Years resolution is not to loose weight....not that I think I have lost all that I have to loose
but I decided on my Birthday that I have done all that I could to ensure a healthier me and if that means a smaller me than so be it...at my present weight and clothing size I could be happy....I remember being this size in my 20's and crying about how FAT I was...isnt it funny now after all I have been through and how FAT I did become that now I am happy with my size.
I can walk....I actually outwalked my DH at the mall the other day....I can breathe and I can buy clothing anywhere I go to shop...ok not the mall but considering the prices there Im not to worried about it.
 being able to purchase clothing from Wal-marts or a t-shirt at the FleaMarket or go to rummahge sale an know that maybe Ill find something for myself is such a warm fuzzy feeling.
  since I last wrote not much have changed in our financial situation...our home of 18 yrs is still up in the air...it now feels like a never ending money pit of Hell...the more we give the bank the more they want and still no sign that if and when we finally do all they ask will we still be living in our home of 18 yrs.....we still have our son and and his family living in our home....with no signs of leaving....Dean did tell them be out by the end of Feb...all that got him was dont be expecting any more money from them...HAHAHA as if! they have been here since Sept...and I think maybe they have given us 500 all together and both of them were working....now she isnt an he is only working part time.....I want them OUT and I dont think I have the strength emotionaly to take them all to a shelter....the babies I can stand...but my son or his GF are another story.
  my disability is now gone along with it my medicare...so there will be no pannilectomy for me....even though the weight of all the excess skin is killing my back...all I can think is that if I keep working to tone the muscles that it will get better....dunno what will happen with the hernia but I will not dwell on it....I will not do any lifting and tugging...and hopefully it will not become worse until such time as I get some ins...which wont be at my new job...the pay is good but the ins comes out in each check to the tune of 280 per check and well thats a tad ok its WAY to much money out of my check ...I have to keep feeding the money pit. so I will not dwell on the fact I have a front butt and it weighs more than the one behind me...LOL. the 17 yr old daughter skipped so much school last semester that she lost all of those credits....IF she returns to school after the break and does well she should graduate....she says she will...and I hope she does but frankly I see no indication that it will happen at this point.
   My emotions are often erratic...I am very diligent about taking my meds now....but am not on hormones...I simply cannot afford to go to the OBGYN anymore. she gave me a clean bill of health the last time I went so Iam good for now.
  as for my weightloss at this time it has slowed down considerably...I dont think Im done loosing just yet but if I am I will still think that WLS was successful for me.
I dont get sick often but when I do it is bad...I actually got sick on Christmas eve on ham....I ate it to fast and did not chew it enough....OMG the pain was horrible and I even tried sticking my finger down my throat to get it up and OUT but no...I am soo anti throwup that I could not give myself relief in that way. so I suffered for 4 hours...my mom is now giving me grief about seeing my bones...I told her to chill out...it is strange seeing my collar bone now after all these years of not seeing them.but untill Im weighing in at 150 or less than Im still good. I still take my chewable vitimins 2x a day and calcium and make sure I get in 80 grams of whey protien which is the kind or protien that our bodies absorb the best. I also take biotin and Lysine for hair and skin health.
I feel pretty good about all Im doing for my health....maybe I could do more excersizing but really Id like to start lifting weights for the toning...but all of that excersizing envolves tummy muscles and mine has a baseball size hole in it...so Im very reluctant/scared is more the word to do that.
  I did go dancingfro New Years eve for the first time in 23 yrs....we usually stay in and throw the bash here...but ohhhh how I danced...for almost 3 hours straight...it was great. but ohh how I did pay for it the next day.all my muscles were sore and tired.
   I think Im all caught up for now.....
New Years resolution......to find joy each day
                                             to live each day like its my last
                                         share my story as much as I can and maybe touch someone on their path twords a new beginning.
I am excited to see what this yr will bring to me and my family.
nutti

Im taking the time to write all the stuff I feel is causing me stress down
just to see if Im making mountains out of molehills and maybe by writting it all down I can get a handle on it.
Biggest worry at the back of my mind is the non payment of medicare for any portion of my WLS. the hospital bill alone is 27,000...not sure how we are going to pay that one but to sell our house. we have lived here for 18 yrs. and although I would love to relocate I dont want to have to sell the house to pay off a bill.
they(medicare) said I did not meet all of their WL criteria and that is why I was denied. BUT I could not even get an appointment with my surgeon unless I did meet all of the requirements. and that is where that is.
Then my hubby lost his job. they have denied his unemployment...twice.
so that is not happening. he got a job...it made him very sick  so once again he is without a job.
this is my youngest childs senior year. her 17th Birthday is thursday...Im hoping for enough money to be able to take her to dinner and make her a cake. she also wreaked her van(my old one) in a 3 car accident.
my 22 yr old son moved back into our house with his GF and 2 small children. both working part time jobs
I have been without any homones for 2 months....so I freaked out at my job and quit....so I feel stupid,worthless and useless.
my job was perfect for me. but the stress of it all took its toll and I over reacted.
we are behind in all of our outside the household bills and soon with no income comming in now that will soon change.
on top of all of this I am having trouble wrapping my eyes around the new me emerging. I dont recognise myself in the mirror and mostly I dont care for what Im seeing. Im not vain and I never felt like I was good looking but I didnt think I was a hag either. but now.....now I do not feel attractive at all. when I was fatter I had big full and belly...now I have big FLABBY arms and belly and legs and butt and calves. its horrible...thank god I am married because you wouldnt catch me trying to date looking like I do under my clothing. I knew it would be bad...I knew it would take some getting use to BUT I really didint know it would make such a huge difference. I guess I thought I would look like I did when I was in my 20's but who looks as good at 44 as you did at 20?...WLS or not.
maybe if I would have grown old without the weight I would be use to the way I look. but UUUGGG I do not like it.
   we also had a big family reunionwhich brought alot of stress. no one has seen me in 7 yrs most of them haven seen me since I weighed over 500.  I am very glad that it is over.but all day yesterday I was feeling hung over and sooo drained. and Im still crying at the drop of a hat.
 I have appointments with both of my DR. PCP and OBGYN to get some hormones and anti anxiety meds. maybe than I will get the feeling of elation back. I rode soo high on a cloud of happiness for so long it was bound to end someday.
 to date I have lost 220 pounds. I weigh 242 now. I want to weigh 170-180
my dream weight is 150 but I have no idea if that is realistic for me.
  I am bummed and depressed and feel very fragile emotionally speaking.I hope that the hormones will make all the difference because I really dont feel like I can cope!
well these are my feelings at the moment.
nutti

well this will be a much different post than I had hoped to make...I did not get to go to my Dr appointment and I am very dissapointed to say the least!
My hernia has gotten worse...not acute unless a protrusion is accute...it comes and goes now...EEWWWEEE!! gross!
I had hoped to have it repaired and some skin removal as well in the apron area....but it seems that Medicare has YET to pay for my surgery! WTH! soooooo I missed out! because the Dr. wont see me again till he gets some moola!
  since I was so bummed out... I wanted to go out with friends instead...but anyone who knows Dean knows this wasnt what he wanted to do....Im like well....since we dont have to use 150$ to drive to Little Rock how about a Tattoo...I have been wanting one for some time. a butterfly to symbolize my emergance from a coccoon of fat! with my surgery date below it! he was agreeable and now I have this gorgeous tat on my neck! 
I also did not get to weigh so I have no idea what my current weight is...somewhere around 257.....
when I shop at Wal-Marts or other places Im looking for 3x tops and pants. of course Catriona doesnt like shopping with me now....lol I buy myself things and she gets nothing....lol she hates it...good thing she is working!
Dean and I are like honeymooners....we are so much more intimate with each other than we used to be. and I wont go on and on about the bedroom! ROFLMAO!
BUT....we have missed out on ALOT of time together and its nice to be a couple like we used to be. of course since Catie is still living at home she acts all grossed out!
   WLS is the greatest gift I could have ever recieved! tytytytyty Dr John W Baker! I am so happy and life makes turns in weird ways....I look forward to what it brings!
nutti

I will have my 1 yr check-up on the actual anniversery of my sugery!
June 27th
I now weigh 263....in April when I started this journey I was 465
so by me I have lost 200lbs or almost...the Dr first weight of 440 will be what he will go by soI havent made it just quite to the 200 mark but Im am VERY ok with that...because I know I am still on my way down.
today went shopping...again at Wal-marts I am no longer looking at 4x clothing...3x and now some 2x are what I am looking at! and I actually bought
some size 22 capris to wear.
I still am not use to my face...it seems to thin and I wonder what the next 80-100lbs loss will bring to it.
I am still enjoying my job. and the scedual it puts my eating and drinking on is perfect for a WLS person who is recovering from inactivity for so long.
tonight I am coloring my hair...the brown is fading and the grey has krept back....time to banish it for awhile.
I also have to start the Biotin again...I am getting my protien in but its been 2 weeks without the biotin and my hair is shedding again.
I will be back after June 27th to post my official weight and measurements.
Nutti

Well I went to see Dr. Baker friday the 14th
and my weight was 287 down from 440 May2007
my waist went from 57 to 40 and the hips went from 72 to 56
we talked some of hernia repair and tummy removale but he said we would talk more at the one yr appointment!
he is so great and was very happy for me.
after leaving Little Rock we drove to Florence Alabama
to visit with friends and than down to Florida to stay with another friend.
I was able to do this because I was laid off at work for last week so I was able to go. we had so much fun and a nice relaxing time.
but Ill be back to work on Monday!~

on Feb 19th my son and his GF had a baby son
Jaxon Dean! and OHHH my he is a cutie!
it certainly was a different experience this time around!
no wheel chair for me and I was able to enjoy his arrival!
but for DEHYDRATION!
watch out for this all you WLS peeps. its very easy to happen...Im still not sure how it did. but it took several days to feel back to normal.
and I reached a semi goal!! under 300!
sooo very happy! 296! 199 here I come!
nutti