nuttiwebgal

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Last Wed I went shopping for some "Goal" jeans. I found some and they were on sale...I havent worn jeans in about 7 or 8 yrs. and I miss them the most. So I bought the largest size Catherines had...I took them home and they almost fit. that was suprising in its self.
of course we had the huge Mothers Day BBQ and it was a total oink fest on my part! misserable...good...but miserable!
2 weeks til consultation!! it is really going by slowly.  I have been selling off some of my dollhouse collection in order to make some extra dollars for surgery....ya just never know what unexpected things come up. and we have very little wiggle room. but I also have used some of the $$ for much needed e-bay shopping...of course we all know I bought miniature kits to do while Im recovering. 
but its my hobby and maybe someday it will pay off for me.
I have both kinds of protein powder from Wal-mart and the daughter loves trying different ways to make them yummy... right now we love
chocolate powder with a tbs of peanut butter!! its almost like drinking a peanut butter cup!
 I also took my Bi-pap machine in for a reading...to show that I do use it faithfully everyday.
Mothers day was wonderful. 2 of my best friends and kids and grandkids were here for food and the pool...still not quite ready for the adults but the kids loved it.
TTFN
nutti

yesterday the Dr office called me to confirm my May 31st consult and my June 27th surgery date! 
yup they had me on their calender for surgery and I didnt even know it!
this is a very weird time for me. Im so excited and ready but I try not to allow myself not get to worked up..I dont want to be dissapointed again.  I asked them while I had them on the phone about the 6 month dr supervised diet thing and medicare not paying for the surgery if I dont have the documentation for this, it is the only thing I do not have.
I have been on many diets in my life and other than the Phen-Phen I was on several years ago and the Byetta I have been on recently
but neither doctor had scales to weigh me. my old doctor had me go to the Ambulance bay at our local hospital to be weighed. and it was awful and humiliating! I will not do that again. if they cant weigh me they will just have to guess it.
I will post more later I have to go have my Bi-Pap downloaded for the Dr.
TTFN
nutti

today I had a doctors appoinment with my PCP. he is very sweet.
very young. I like him but sometimes I feel he is at a loss as what to do for me.  I had my last Dr for over 20 yrs and he basicly did nothing for me. I had to have a blood test for my thyroid again as my dosage was raised in March to 100mcg and need to see if that is working for me.
if I wasnt so messed up emotionally the insomnia wouldnt be so bad and I could sleep maybe I would be able to tell a difference.
 I am totally freaked over this surgery thing. it is within my grasp...I can almost touch it.  but I have this thing in the back of my head says dont get to pumped up. so I wont be dissapointed if I am told...oh no matter you cant walk without assistance and you weigh so much...still have to go on 6 month supervised diet.
not that I have a real issue with that...its the fact how do you go on a supervised diet if you have no place to weigh at? 
 my Dr scales only go to 350...yes I said only... I havent been close to 350 since I had my daughter 15 yrs ago.  I long for the day when the nurse ask to get my weight and i can be weighed in the office!
 if you are reading this...please offer a prayer for me to recieve surgery in June. Thanks so much!
nutti

I have been drinking a protien shake every morning....it seems to help with the cravings. I know I always feel better if I eat 3 meals a day but the "fatty" in me finds it hard to eat of a morning. so Im drinking protien shakes in the am and if I get the munchies at night I drink another.
remember the thighs? well now the right thigh is getting as "mooshie" as the left one and this makes walking easier. like I said before it never stays off but I do enjoy it while it last.
 I have been building dollhouses and making miniatures for several years now and have enjoyed it so much...a lifesaver for me. but at this point...my head swims with surgery thoughts. 30 days and counting.
30 DAYS...that is too long! I am going to be a basket case by then. and then another month till surgery. Oy VEY!
how will I stand myself?
Catriona has lost some weight since I started this whole thing this time. all this eating healthier has been doing good stuff for her also.
which she is very happy about. she has this red dress she wants to wear. good to have a goal!
I havent worn a pair of jeans in about 10 yrs...that is my first goal.
Im going to Catherines and buy a pair of non-elastic waist jeans to motivate me and keep my eye on the prize!
a new and healthier , happier me!
TTFN
nutti

I did the BMI thingie and it shocked me...dont know if thats the word for it..as I know I am but to see it in black and white.
5ft 7"---460lbs===72 BMI which makes me Super Morbidly Obese.
I wish I would have had a sleep study done many years ago.
and gone to a different doctor. maybe if I would have had my thyroid meds and the apnea machine I wouldnt have gotten this bad.
 but than after my daughter was born I weighed in at 340...still Obese
but active and working and living. 
when I wentr shopping yesterday with my daughter...we always end up in the clothes section..she is a 15 yr old and needs something new everytime we go. hahaha actually I do not mind because she is such a help to me around here. but I was looking at the bigger size clothes and I thought to myself...yanno maybe this time next yr I will be buy clothes for me here.  I know when that happens I will cry.
Im always so excited when anything from Wal-marts womens dept fits me.  all my clothing comes from King Size direct....Big Mans clothing.
I have not yet found a place that sells 10x womens clothing that is the least bit affordable.  I did place an order a couple of days ago for some 6x shorts and a7x tanktop.  
I have a pair of 6x shorts a little tight but these were on sale and hey after surgery I need something to wear as I go down....GO DOWN
did you see that?  I still cant believe its happening and I still am waiting for the call to cancel me. but Im praying like mad it doesnt happen.
  drank another protien shake today. made it with water...not bad but not good. the skim milk was better. but I did use the butterscotch. yummy.  I also noticed that I have lost a few lbs. everyone has a place on their body that you can tell youve lost...mine is in the thighs
and the left thigh is definatly smaller today. this is good.
I started Omega 3 fish oil today...I want to get my heart as healthy
as I can. 
when I feel better about things I am going to put my measurements up here. not that brave just yet.
TTFN 
nutti

Today I did a bit of shopping...wanted to get some of the Protien stuff to try it out...its not horrible...I got the vanilla but next week I will get the chocolate. I mixed the drink I had tonight with some SF chocolate pudding...not bad at all. DH says its too sweet...maybe too much pudding? well Ill have to get used to the portion ratio so that doesnt happen...I also got some butterscotch pudding to try also.
 I also bought some good multi vitimins. 1 month before consult  so I want to start right now trying stuff out and cutting back on my food...portion wise. maybe I can loose enough that I only have to wait 2 weeks on a liquid diet before surgery....not holding my breath.
not much to say...tonight I am excited
today I was worried.
who knows what tomorrow will bring.
TTFN
nutti
 

after all my whining today when I called I did get a consult date
and tenitive surgical date...tenitive on the consult.
sooooo I am elated!
what a roller coster of emotions this has been.
 I can only imagine that it will continue to be up and down untill surgery.
I am going to make some changes now...I already started vitamins and will get some of the protein drinks to try and start stocking up on this or that. just wish I knew what this or that is.
I already have the soda pop addiction kicked so that is good.
Im switched to sugar free country time Lemonade.
taste major yummy.
keep me in your thoughts.
TTFN
nutti

I know I have been driving the Dr. Office nutz so I have been limiting myself to once a day. Friday when I called she answered the phone
"Hello Lynette" I take that as a sign Ive called to much that she knows my number.
than she tells me she is getting ready to schedual my consult and she will get back to me...this was at about 1pm Friday
I still have heard nothing. yesterday I called and again no answer so I made sure to leave the cell phone number also. I have not called today nor do I plan on it.
Im thinking I should take this as a sign to explore my options...something I didnt know I had untill I came to this board.
bummer...I was sooo psyched up...I knew better.  the depressed side of me keeps trying to fill my head with visons of a short life lived in my house FAT.  
a good side note. in preperation for this surgery that may never come I have been doing the healthy eating thing and have lost a few more pounds. they dont ever stay off but its something positive to dwell on.
 and Im almost positive I gave myself a Hernia with all the hacking Ive been doing. my belly hurts! better today...a little
TTFN
nutti

nothing new as of yet.
I am trying not to bug the Dr office.
still not sure if they have all my info yet.
I know that my PCP has sent all that was asked of them and the shrink sent in the Eval. so now it is a waiting game for my consult.
 I did learn that I will leave the consult with my liquid diet and a surgery date for either 2 weeks or 4 weeks from consult depending on how long Dr wants me on liquid diet.
 I hate the waiting...I feel like Ive been waiting forever!
I am using this time to organise things around me I have neglected like my work area. wow it is a mess. Tooo many Dollhouses and not enough room.  I am thinking of selling a couple but I just havent decided!
TTFN
nutti

well today was a uplifter!
 Dr Bakers office called today to let me know they had recieved most of what they needed from my PCP and once they get it all they will get me in for the consult and at that time I will get a surgery date.
 could be soon. like 3-5 weeks from now. she told me to get my stuff in and the psyc eval still wasnt there. so I get off the phone with them and I call the PCP and ask why wasnt the sleep study faxed? nurse said she faxed it all....but she would be happy to fax the 2 missing items again. cool~!
as soon as I get off the phone with them the shrink calls to let me know he has finished my eval and will be faxing it today!
 Tomorrow Im calling to make sure they have it all and maybe....just maybe I will get a consult appointment!
hard to believe it is happening soo quickly!  I am soooo ready.
 now the thought of a liquid diet for 4 weeks kind of freaks me out...not the after surgery diet...the one before surgery...UUUGGGGGG Im gonna starve! maybe I can handle 2 weeks but 4 weeks and noo chewing?  well if that is what it takes than so be it!  I assure you that sounds much braver than I feel for sure!
and today I finally told my mom. she is excited for me and of course started trying to take charge...but I think I held my ground pretty well!
ttfn
nutti