nuyvon79
Time really does Fly! Almost at 3 months update.
Jul 27, 2011
So life is really " back to normal" so to speak. When you are really early out you want to track every second of every day because this is such a life change, but things get back to normal and you really do adjust to your new way of life and new way of eating. Right now I currently weigh 237. Started out at 280. A total for 43lbs lost. I think I could have been a lot further along maybe 7 or 8 more lbs but...I have been doing some no no's and I'll go over that in a bit. But still, I'm happy with 43lbs, maybe I will be down at least 2 more lbs by next week. That being said, Yes I can fit in some of my old clothes, some of my clothes are hanging off of me and I feel lighter, but when I look at myself in the mirror, I still see who I was 3 months ago. I still don't feel smaller or skinnier by any means. I am wondering how much weight do I have to lose to feel like I've really lost and look like it to myself. I think when I have to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe I will finally be able to tell. I am still wearing a lot of my older clothes, they are getting looser everytime I wear them but I can still wear them and I think that is what makes me feel like I still look the same.
I can say this... I do literally feel lighter and feel like I take up less space. When you are heavy, that is exactly how you feel....heavy and you feel like you take up space. But now that I've lost I feel different in how I relate to things and people around me. Like the other day, I was standing next to my babe in the kitchen and I felt like he was towering over me. It was weird. I said...did i get shorter or did you get taller, but I realize it is because I am smaller now, so how I relate to space is different...does that make sense. It really is weird.
The majority of my weight is coming from my thighs. I can also see where my face is really skinny now along with my shoulders. I am really happy with the progress so far, even though like I said I can't see it for real. My co-workers comment and say every day I walk in I look smaller and smaller. And it is like literally when I walk in the door everyone stares me up and down. At first I didn't like feeling like a side show or circus act, but it is human nature for people to do that and I don't care anymore. But they say good things about how good I look, so it does help me feel better. Also, I need to post pics. I have been taking picutres all along, and have some before's. Pictures really do help. I took a pic the other day and I looked at it and I was like...is that Really how I look because that is not what I see. My waist is so itty bitty now and my face is so skinny. It's funny how your brain works that way. So make sure you take pics to track your progress because if you are like me, you may look in the mirror and get a little down because you don't see progress but pictures do not lie.
My no's no's
-haven't been working out...at all. I do realize that I just don't like to work out. it is not something I enjoy therefore I don't like. I wish I had a different mind set but I don't. But I am working on that. I do feel lighter and more energetic. Can climb the stairs without passing out. I need to use this energy to burn more calories. I am working on that.
-I've been eating sugar, not alot but some. such as 1 tablespoon in my coffee or regular gatorade. I don't go overboard though. I tried a piece of chocolate and it just isn't the same, it's like it's not even worth it. It doesn't have the same effect on you and enjoyment like it did before so it's not even worth trying. I do believe if I completely cut out sugar I would have lost more weight.
-I've tried things that I shouldn't have- example, potatoe chips unfortanely go down really easy. This far out, I think you are pretty much healed and can eat just about anything. But yeah, I can eat a whole bag of snack size chips and that scared me the other day. I told myself, even though it goes down easy and I can have it...I best stay away from them until maintenance at least.
-still not drinking enough water. When I say water I mean pure water, I have been drinking alot of light Cranberry and apple juice, plus gatorade and my protein drink. But I do need to get in more water I know.
Like I said, eating feels alot more like normal now. When you are first out it is hard because, well we all live in the now and that is what matters, what I can or can't do right now at this moment in time. It feels like you will never eat food again while your on liquids...but it is only a phase and you have to realize you will eat again, but you need to heal really well first. I can eat pretty much anything. I do mainly eat protein and veggies but I will have a bite of carb here and there. For instance, my honey brought pizza and wings at first I was like, now why would he do that. But I realize that the way I eat now is differenlty. There is now way I could scarf down 3 slices and wings so just savor a small bite. I ate literally one bite of pizza...and 2 wings, and was done and thoroughly satisfied. When I cook a meal such as baked chicken rice and green beans. I will eat the chicken and green beans. The rice just feels like a waste of time. So I am glad to report that I can eat just about anything but the good thing is I only want the good stuff. My body and my brain has gotten used to this and I the full signal is clear both mental and physically.
Also, didn't believe that vsgers can dump but experienced it first hand. It was on fourth of July. I hate half hot dog(no bun) dipped in mustard, a bites of watermelon and was full. All they had to drink was sugary drinks. I don't know what kind of punch it was put I drunk it and boy was it sweet. But I drunk it down, getting lost in good time and coversation. 30 minutes later...I told my honey we had to leave IMMEDIATELY. I got really dizzy and hot and light headed. As soon I got home I hit the bathroom with alot of diarreah. It was a horrible feeling. So I do try to limit sugar. Lesson learned, always be prepared. I keep packets of crystal light with me in my purse now.
I am a little scared. I know there is a possiblity of gall bladder disease after bariatric surgery. I have feeling this dull pain or uncomfortable feeling in my abdomen to the right under my rib cage. I googled it and it appears that is where the gall bladder is. It feel like something is pulling and slight pain, I've never felt it before. I hope to God it isn't my gall bladder. I have been taking the gall bladder medicine so I'm hoping is something that will just go away. My 3 month follow up is in a few days so we will see.
So I am nearly half way to goal at 3 months out. I hope to be at goal by the end of the year. I have noticed a pattern. It seems I will lose then hold at a certain weight then lose. For instance, I was 248 for like a week. Then get on the scale and I'm 244. Then hold there for like a week. Then it will drop another 3 pounds. All last week I was at 241, Then Yesterday was at 238 and today 237 but I probably will go back up to 238 and stay there for a week before going down again. So what I have learned is to be patient and not get stuck on what the scale says. I think the scale just needs time to catch up with what your body is doing. Or you body may be losing and burning fat in increments instead of steadily. I think it just depends on the person.
I will up date with pic soon. See you guys later.
4 Weeks Today
Jun 08, 2011
One month ago today, at this time I was in the recovery room in and out of it. I remember waking up and not being able to breathe and shaking uncontrollably. I was cold and groggy and sore but glad that the actual surgery was over and now on to recovery. The first few days were very uncomfortable and I could hardly get any fluids in. I remember laying at home on the couch thinking....OMG my stomach is at the hospital and I can never get it back...what have I done. Not really remorseful, just a bit of second guessing and hoping it will be worth it.
I lost 20lbs within the first 2 weeks and another 6 lbs the 3rd week. And now for the last 12 days or so...complete STALL. From what I understand stalling around 3 weeks is usually common. I am 254 and started at 280. I was weighing myself every day and the scale wasn't budging. I have since stopped weighing. I will see what I weigh on my 1 month appointment on June 20th. I know it is normal to stall and I didn't think I would be the type to be frustrated, after all I did lose 26lbs in one month. But it is frustrating as hell going through the trauma of surgery, the difficult time of adjusting after wards, and everything that comes with it and not seeing the results. I must admit, I know I can do more. I haven't been exercising at all. I guess I am a little scared to, because I can still feel a tiny smidgen of pain in my stomach on my left side if I move a certain way. I also am still so tired and drained I can't imagine working out. But this early out I want to make sure that I am accountable for my progress. I know I can get in more liquids. I'm probably at about 40oz a day. I am diligent about my protein shake every morning. I need to check and see how much sugar that protein shake has. I use Trader Joe's whey protein...it tastes great and has 18grams of protein per serving plus a lot of other vitamins... I used 4 scoops in skim milk equaling 72 grams of protein. I haven't found one I like as much as this one but I need to make sure it is not much sugar.
As far as eating goes, let me tell you...it really is kind of a mourning process. The first week was anger and frustration because I didn't know what to do about not being able to have what I wanted when I wanted. I also noticed that my time to eat was when I was bored or feeling lonely and restless. Food was my go to to numb whatever I was feeling and without it...I had to deal with those emotions front and center. Then I felt a little sad and depressed, not because I couldn't have food, but because of the emotions I used to bury with eating. After facing that, now comes acceptance. I accept that I do have to deal with those emotions and I accept that this is a total lifestyle change. I am ok with not being able to have certain things and I don't feel deprived because of it. That is the good part, not feeling deprived. I think that is the main reason why diets fail. But with the wls, you don't feel deprived because your mindset changes.
It really is frustrating learning how to eat again with your new sleeve. I don't want to damage anything and I want to make sure it heals successfully. Making sure you chew chew chew and trying to figure out what the signal is for fullness. I have yet for anything to come back up or to get stuck that is because I am scared to death of that. Usually I start to burp and I can feel the food in my esophagus. A visual description of eating feels like I an stacking one brick on top of another and I can literally feel when that stack reaches the top. So I picture that is happening while I am eating and I know when to stop....So I think I got it down now. I am able to eat more than I thought at this point. I baked chicken last night and was able to eat about 5 bites chewed really really good before I started to feel my stack reaching the top. I'm am still sticking too...refried beans, soups, yogurt, and seafood. Seafood goes down really well which I am happy about because I love seafood. I can eat about 4 shrimp, maybe 7 small scallops, and maybe half of a small tilapia filet. That is usually what I have for dinner.
I hope to break this stall soon. I can see a slight difference in my body. My closthes are definitely looser so I have lost inches for sure, but other than that...I still see the same body I had a month a go. Hubby says he doesn't see the change either. Sometimes, when I am looking at the before and after pics on this site...I just can't imagine that will ever be me. This early out, not seeing much of a change...I just can't imagine actually being 100 lbs lighter. I can't wrap my head around it. Anyway, my goals before the end of this month will be to drink more water...and once get the go ahead from doc start exercise...and break this STALL.
9 Days out....
May 20, 2011
Day 9 post op. The first few days were rough but each day gets better and better. Today there is very little pain and I can get around with ease. But I am very light headed and if I exert myself just a little too much I get really weak and get the shakes so I have to lay back down. I was hoping to go back to work yesterday but I just don't think I will make it. A trip to the grocery store yesterday had me feeling like I was about to pass out. I'll go back Monday and I should be better. My first post op appointment is Monday and if all looks good I should be able to move to purees or mushies, at least full liquids. Everything is going down much better now. The first few days I could barely get a swallow of water. I am attributing the weakness to being on just clear liquids. I have never been more excited about eating applesauce and cream of wheat...lol.
I can't believe it but I've actually lost 20lbs since my surgery day
. I started at 280 on the day of surgery. Today I weighed 260. I know the losing will drastically slow down. I did some research and yes most of the weight I have lost is water weight.http://www.atkinsexposed.org/atkins/14/Losing_%28Water%29_Weight.htm
I wanted to understand what was going on in my body so I looked into what is actually happening. Although this is about the atkins diet, it explains what is happening the first few weeks on a diet without carbs. I am still excited and even though most of it is water weight. I told a friend of mine that I lost 20lbs already. Her response, "Well, that is only water weight you know". Said it like it doesn't count. 20lbs is still 20lbs, and I don't believe the whole of the loss is "only water weight". I am surviving off 400 calories a day, I'm sure there is some fat loss in there. Bottom line is the first stage of losing a large amount of weight is losing water weight but the psychological impact of seeing the scale move so drastically has me pumped up and ready to work this sleeve. I can't wait to get on mushies and full liquids and make good choices so the scale keep on moving down. I can't wait to get cleared for exercise so I can work out and tone my body up. I am so glad I made this decision. I'm just ready to get back to healthy and 100% so I can work this sleeve they way it is meant to be.
Serious update to my previous blog....
May 17, 2011
I told her yes I wanted the slot but I needed to clear it with my job first. I called my boss, got the go ahead to be off work for a couple of weeks and confimed with the office that I was having surgery on May 11th. I was told clear liquids all day before surgery and to take milk of magesia. Fast forward and today I am 6 days post up. I am so happy it happened that way and I am thankful to God that everything went smoothly. It sure has been an experience. I was discharged Friday and have been at home resting. I have to admit, the first few days was rough, but has been progressively better. I feel so weak and tired and can hardly get liquids down. I'm on clear liquids for two weeks and my follow up appoinments is next tuesday on the 24th. I've been eating, well sipping on broth, sf jello, sf popsiceles, crystal light, and vitamin water zero. Like I said I feel so weak and tired and it's probably because I'm not consuming enough but I still feel really bloated and a little sore. Plus I think I have some type of reflux going on. I am going to start taking the protonix today.
I got on the scale and weighed 264, I started at 280...ummmm that is freaking 16lbs in 6 days. Is that normal? I'm a little scared that I'm losing too fast...lol. But I'm sure it's because I am hardly getting any calories in. I really need to be more diligent with my liquids and try to get a few more calories down. I tried my protein drink that I had pre surgery but it did not go down well. I think I'm feeling up to a trip to the gnc to find another protein drink to try.
Anyway, so I'm just resting. I really can't wait until this time passes so I can get back to work and get back to life. I'm not used to just sitting around at home but I know I need to do what I got to do to get better. My babe has been great this whole time, taking care of the house and running to the store for me. Yelling at me if he thinks I'm doing to much. He even brought me tampons...haha. I was hoping that I could try to go back to work this thursday, today is tuesday but I don't think so, I just feel so weak and I need to try to get some protein in. It's funny, I've lost 16lbs, I remember myself at 264 but I don't look like I did then, it doesn't look like I lost anything, but I know the time will come when it will be more than obvious.
Surgery date is.....
Apr 26, 2011
December 2009: Kaiser Information session
April 25 2010: Submited Paperwork for Options Class
August 10 2010: Began Options Class (24 weeks)
Feb 3 2011: Kaiser Options Class Completed
April 11 2011: Consultation with Pacific Bariatric
April 26 2011:Given surgery date of July 13th
July 13th: VSG
So, it has been quite a journey and my journey is really just beginning. Advice that I would give to anyone else awaiting insurance authorization and going through all the red tape is to just live....time will take care of itself, it always does. My only regret is that I've missed out on some activities because I felt like I want to wait until after weight loss surgery. Now that I have a date I feel I can relax and I have something I can work toward. Getting healthier before surgery. I also have time to prepare at work. I currenly work...get this...scheduling surgeries...haha. That probably helped in my patience for a surgery date because I understand the logistics and challenges of scheduling procedures. I work with one other individual with a large facility, so taking a prolonged time off work is not desired. I hope to just take off two weeks. We will see. Anyway, I am on my way.
