October 23, 2007

Oct 23, 2007

I had my 6th fill on Thursday the 18th.  Stephanie, the PA, and I discussed my lack of restriction to that point.  She chided me that we may be "getting greedy here", because I have lost 44% of my excess weight and continue to lose at the desired rate of 1 pound per week.  I explained that after taking the risk of surgery, paying my out of pocket expense, missing work ever 2 weeks for a fill and spending $$ on gas to get to Detroit for fills, I just wanted to feel the band doing "what it is supposed to do" just ONCE.  Yes, I have lost significant weight and I feel good about it.  If I did not lose another pound at this point, I could be happy with my success, which I feel I have done mainly on my own willpower.  However, I am concerned that when I get to the point where I am no longer trying to lose weight and want to start living "normally" (by that I mean not being on a "diet" any longer), I will once again regain weight if my band is never adjusted to the proper restriction.  Stephanie felt that I did not have to worry about that, maybe only 5 pounds or so, because I have changed my lifestyle and eating habits.  I realize that I have not really changed my brain and my thoughts about food, however.  Maybe I need psychological therapy.  I really wanted the band to cause me to be less hungry and to make food choices because I had to eat to live.  I still wanted a fill.  We discussed being aggressive again and going up 1 cc to 9 cc.  Stephanie expressed her concern that, even though she offered the 1 cc, it may take me to the point where I cannot keep food down.  I agreed that I did not want to be at that point and risk having to have the band completely unfilled.  We made a compromise at .6 cc.  After getting that, I did not feel much different.  

By the weekend after the fill, I was kicking myself for not taking the full 1 cc.  I did not think that there was any difference at all.  At this point, however, 5 days later, I am beginning to wonder what I should expect to feel from the band.  I have had a couple of episodes where I could feel the food going down, kind of being uncomfortable as it passed my neck and slid downward; but that feeling would subisde very soon, as if the food had passed through the stoma.  I began to wonder if the food would ever stay in the pouch long enough to build up and make me feel "full".  Last night, I repeatedly had little bits of food that came back up (not really a burp but I could feel a pressure and could very easily bring the food up and out.  I guess this means that I have restriction of some kind.  WAHOOOOOOO!  

This morning's breakfast was 1/4 cup of egg beaters scrambled with some cheese at 5:30 a.m.  I was good until 9:30 and thought I was hungry again.  I started to eat 4 oz of Blue Bunny SF active culture yogurt and was "satisfied after 2 bites".  I ate that a small spoonful at a time over the next 2 hours.  I went out and walked for 40 minutes.  Lunch, which I am completing as I write this was 3 slices of Healthy Choice Mesquite Smoked Turkey Breast, 1 slice of 2% American cheese, about 3 oz of raw sugar snap peas and 1/4 cup of a raw cranberry and pineapple "salad" that is my favorite thing at this time of year.  (Chop the cramberries in a food processor and mix with drained crushed pineapple with enough Splenda to make it edible.  Sometimes I mix in crushed walnuts for extra chew and extra flavor).  Let's see how well this keeps me this afternoon.  I have to start watching and learning if I have any stop signals, until I figure out if I have any, I will just go back to measuring and planning what is a sensible diet meal and enjoy the length of time it satisfies me.  So far, so good. 

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