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Does it show? - I'm much better than you; you're inferior. From my head to my perfect posterior, And from there to my toes, My magnificence shows. Egoistically yours, Your superior.

Good old Edgar --- - There once was a raven (called Quoth)Whose croak was no more than an oath.He rasped, "Nevermore",As he tapped at the door.Was he crude? Was he rude? He was both.

Yeah, Mary Poppins was right! - Mahatma Gandhi always walked barefoot and ultimately the soles of his feet became thick and very hard. He also was, of course, known to be a man of deep spiritual conviction. He u...

Thank Gawd Xmas is over, and now --- - For the loved ones now gone—yours and mine— And the friends that we've lost, we repine. Let us lift our champagne, And sing out a refrain, Of that bittersweet song, "Au...

To my Athiest friends ----- - Happy Festivus!

He who laughs last --- - Has not yet heard the bad news!

Don't forget ----- - This is national sex week!   Please give till it hurts.   And remember, if you give  at the office you don' t have to give at home!

G'day, mate! - A randy marsupial named Reeves, Went down on the whores tween their knees, But when they'd ask for money, He'd say "Listen Honey, A koala eats bushes and leaves."

Beethoven - While walking through a cemetery in Vienna a tourist heard music coming from a gravesite. The headstone read, "Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827." The man listened for a few moments ...

Diddled by the dangling digit of destiny! - The abdomen often protrudesFrom eating high-calorie foods.Obesity's here;It's everyone's fear.More exercise, dieting, dudes!

Time for something catchy? - What is catchy? I'd say things like these:Clever slogans constructed to please,Sappy tunes that you findDay and night on your mind,And then, last but not least, STDs.

Plastic surgery time? - A Hollywood surgeon who fearsHis technique isn't up to his peers'Has just issued this call:"Cut-rate butt lifts for all!Friends and countrymen, lend me your rears!"

Mary Poppins time? - Mahatma Gandhi always walked barefoot and ultimately the soles of his feet became thick and very hard. He also was, of course, known to be a man of deep spiritual conviction. He un...

Hypocracy Now!!! - http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-briggs/the-flesh-is-weak-churchgoers-give-far-less-than-they-think_b_1846516.html?icid=maing-grid10%7Chtmlws-main-bb%7Cdl36%7Csec3_lnk3%26pLid%3...

Ignorance is Bliss! - The Decalogue, given to MosesBy Jehovah, was no bed of roses.It made moral demands,And today it still stands,Though it's often ignored, one supposes.

Is that you, Mitt??? - It's his arrogance holding the floorAs he talks like his word should be law.I'd like to rebelWith a firm, "Go to hell—You obnoxious unspeakable bore!"

So, which is it? - You're severely obese and you're rich?I suggest a duodenal switch:Chunks of stomach they'll cut;They'll reroute lengths of gut.You'll feel great or you won't (don't know which)!

Is that you, Luke???? - Young Skywalker's caught in a pother,Of feelings that fluster and bother.He's stunned for a while,(Anagnorisis-style),When Darth Vader says, "Luke, I'm your father."

Dieting??? - When you're slimming, your doctor decreesThere are too many lipids in cheese.If you're bored eating peas,Here's a hint that will please:Try the food at Lo Fat Cantonese.

Humor??? - I'm delighted to say that I've mastered,The appropriate usage of bastard:It's a person who's bred,By a pair who weren't wed,But were too much in love—or too plastered.

Star War fans? - Young Skywalker's caught in a pother,Of feelings that fluster and bother.He's stunned for a while,(Anagnorisis-style),When Darth Vader says, "Luke, I'm your father."

Do you ignore??? - The Decalogue, given to MosesBy Jehovah, was no bed of roses.It made moral demands,And today it still stands,Though it's often ignored, one supposes.

Do you ignore it??? - The Decalogue, given to Moses,By Jehovah, was no bed of roses.It made moral demands,And today it still stands,Though it's often ignored, one supposes.

If at first you don't succeed, - then skydiving is definitely not for you!

Just say'n---- - Old acquaintance should not be forgot,Especially if you are a Scot.Auld lang syne, you may know,Stands for "times long ago"Whether sung by a Scotsman or not.