psych_rainbow

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It seems like every since I had my 6-month visit with Dr. Macik last month (July 24th), I have been struggling to stay on track.  I had lost 80 pounds at that point which was about 20-25 pounds less than what Macik had anticipated.  Of course I got the standard questions of "what are you doing/eating," "are you exercising," etc....  I am doing everyhing right - or at least up until that point I was.  I was exercising diligently, eating my protein, taking my vitamins, drinking my fluids, etc....  I too was disappointed that the weight loss wasn't better, but how do you convince someone that you are following all the rules when the evidence suggest otherwise?  Anywho... every since then, I have been in a funk and seem to have abandoned all the good behaviors that I was learning.  I have started eating junk again (on top of the protein).  I still get my fluids and vitamins in and I am still exercising; however, I have learned that I can tolerate absolutely anything that I put in my  mouth.  It is safe to say that I do NOT dump and my pouch is NOT sensitive.  I don't have to chew food to mush and it goes down easily.  I can gulp down fluids with the best of them.  Did I even have surgery?!?!?

I realize that I am now 7 months into it and if I am going to take advantage of the rest of my window of opportunity, I must get back on track now.  If not, all hope is gone.  I know I can do this; I just have to get off of the pity pot and look at how much I did lose rather than how much I did not lose.  I should not matter what my surgeon thinks; what matters is what I know to be true.  I should not hand that much power over to anyone.  I am now down about 85 pounds since surgery (yep, only 5 pounds last month), but I know I can really get the scale moving again.  If any of my OH friends reads this entry, please keep me in your prayers.

Well, as a result of some questions about my pulmonary test results, my surgery date had to be pushed back. Apparently my right lung is a little higher than my left lung, so the pulmonologist wanted to do further testing. He is pretty sure it is nothing more than genetics, but he wants to make sure. At any rate, the further testing caused my date to be pushed back to January 30th. I am sooo bummed about this. I was so looking forward to getting this surgery over and done with on Friday (Jan. 2nd). I must believe that there is purpose in all of this.

I am sooo excited!  As of last Friday, I have a date for my surgery - January 2, 2009!  I was hoping to have the surgery before the end of the year, but hey, this is close enough.  There is a part of me that thought I would be more anxious once I received an actual date.  Just the opposite is true; I am excited beyond words!  I look forward to the next 2 1/2 weeks flying by so that I can join everyone else on the "loser's bench." 

This is my first time posting; however, I have been on this journey for some time now. I met with my surgeon, Dr. Macik back in September. Since then, I have met with Dr. Santavica for my psych eval and with with nutritionist for dietary instructions pre and post surgery.

All of my letters were submitted to my primary insurance company this past week (11/10), so now I am waiting for a response. I already know I will be denied (it is an exclusion), but I have to have the denial letter before I can submit to my secondary insurance who does cover the surgery. I was hoping to have the surgery by the end of December, but it will take a miracle for that to happen now. Oh well, everything in its own time.