Patty T.

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I had a follow up appointment scheduled today with the PA for my OWLS endocrinologist (who retired). I have not lost any weight as I've only minimally followed the healthy choice & shakes pre-op diet. I had diarrhea this morning probably from a big bowl of left over broccoli salad,pizza last night as well as sugar alcohols in sugarfree almond rocha. So I know what I have to do. I don't have willpower - I can't have this stuff around.

Anyway, the GI problem gave me an excuse to cancel the appt. It's "cooled off" to a high of 95 today. I need to swim it I feel better later. And it is sweet to be cleanly showered not smelling of chlorine.

Broccoli Salad

2 med heads of broccoli broken into small florets
3 celery stalks coarsely diced

Add the following in your desired proportions. Those listed are approximations of my last batch

1/4 C crasins
2 T slivered almonds
1/4 C shredded cheddar

3/4 C mayo
1/4 C vinegar
2 T brown sugar

Crumbled crispy bacon optional - I did not add as we had none

I've been slowly returning to this site, mostly reading boards and occasionally posting. I've been following a friend's blog and realized that I need to start back blogging myself.

I made progress with my counselor, but then the pre-auth for 10 sessions ran out and I've not heard back about another appointment. 

Physically, I'm struggling with swimming. I love swimming (once I get there), but it hurts my knees after 45 minutes and I was fixated on swimming an hour at least. My old bathing suits were shot, but I dithered about buying a new one. How long will I be at this size? Is it worth it? Well, I decided that I was worth it and got 2 on sale. One at my present size and one a size down.

I've also ordered braces for my knees to help stabilize them. 

But I'm doing too much late night eating. I'm not hungry during the day, but then feel ravenous at night. Yesterday I got some beef jerky to at least eat protein, but I ate the whole package.

I still had 15 lbs to lose. I even got down to 399 according to the Courthouse scale. I was last at the pool on Wed. with Kimberly and Opalina, but did not have time to weigh. Good Lord, but that kiddo is fast and unpredictable. 

I get weighed at OWLS on July 5th, so I need to "stick to the plan".

I'm up 3 lbs from last week, so I need to be accountable. I'm eating the boy's cereal late at night. WTF?  Maybe I'm saying goodbye to food that is bad for me.

High Weight: 450
Last week: 402
This week: 405

I got bumped up due to a cancellation, so I meet with the OWLS Endocrinologist today. I'm leaving really early with no social commitments afterward - LOL!

I completed my supervised eating and exercise program in March, but did not get to see my surgeon until yesterday, May 19th. In that time I stayed within 2 lbs of my prior total. I also need to meet with the bariatric endocrinologist, but that's not until mid-July.

I've been seeing a counselor for about 6 weeks, specific to weight and eating issues. I'm slowly making positive changes and getting to some of the sources of my incorrect beliefs about myself. She said that she sees post-surgical patients, but I was the 1st to be proactive and get a head start. I sure hope that my insurance continues to pay for her!

I'm recovering today after my nightmare 1st surgeon meeting. No, I wasn't upset so much about seeing Dr. Patterson - more about the day's logistics.

There was a SNAFU on mailing me the pre-appointment paperwork. They arrived in the mail at noon and my appointment was an hour away at 2:45. Eeek!

So I got on the road later than I wanted to. I like to be at least 1/2 hour early for appointments up in Portland due to the drive. I'd taken my Lasix at 9 am, so it should have been out of my system, but 1/2 up, I felt I should stop at the rest stop - medium urge. But the traffic was so heavy that I didn't see the 1st sign due to the number of trucks in the right lane. By the time I saw sign 2, I couldn't get over to the exit lane. OK, I should be able to make it. I get there, park, then head for the nearest potty. There was a line! Ack! I had an accident. I was mortified. At least I was standing up at the time and my pee pad got most of it, but the undies were also damp. And I'm almost late!

By the time I get to the office, I'm a blubbering mess (I am a stress crier). Nightmare.

But things changed. A sweet lady in the waiting room came over and hugged me. She was 3 weeks post-op. Then I saw a flash of a doggy in the hall behind the receptionist. Yes, my doc has a therapy dog in the office. A small sweet mini dox, long haired - goes by "Biscuit". She helped me so much.

Dr. P. agrees that the sleeve is best for me. I really liked her and am very glad about my choice.

I finished at 4 pm. I had planned to see friends for dinner up in the big city, but I just wanted to go home. I "gave myself permission" to cancel and we will try again on another trip.

Came home and fell asleep in the recliner, emotionally exhausted.

It's HARD, but I'm doing it!

Long time, no update. Long story. I'll try to catch up later.

ANYWAY, the NEW development is that I am adding counseling to my toolbox. My counselor, Gwen, is working on a program to get at the root of food issues. She uses hypnosis, music and discussion to bring out truths. Yesterday I learned about to a range of hunger and was able to locate my current hunger on the scale at 3 pm. It was 6, as I'd had McDs Fish around noon with a frappuccino. This had been a rare indiscretion, but happened following a meet with my grower --> stress --> EAT!

I feel like I'm finally reversing direction from chaos. Gwen has the magic of Susan Tait and Sedgwick combined. I feel that I am connecting to the core ME again, and also to the outer earth glow/energies of the earth, air, water and stone. Such loss, such feeling of not belonging.

I've been recording my food, on paper so far, but I need to use online tools. Pam recommended myfitnesspal. I'd also like to get a fitbit to track the exercise that I get in everyday activities (DART, I think).

I've been pretty much following the protein shake + 2 lean and green. I do love me some veggies! Last night I roasted onion, red pepper, bananna pepper and carrots. Estacy! I just sprayed the pieces with olive oil spray. I've found the Schwans fahita chicken a great thing to grab for quick protein at those meals where I don't want to cook. I am adding lots of excitement to food with the little drizzle of EVOO and various herbs. I forgot how good orig Mrs. Dash is.

Swam today as I'm not feeling as weak as I was the first days of eating very differently. I did 50 laps / 1.25 K in 50 minutes. This was the 1st swim since last Wed - which I did between my welcome group and the Pam appointment so I could be an A+ student. Ruh row.

Weighed myself today. My last weight at the Courthouse was 428, 430 at welcome group, 420 today! Mostly water, as I've had even more runs to the potty than usual. Today I was terrible at the pool and had to go several times while swimming. I knew even if I tried, I'd probably pee myself by the time I got out of the pool. Sigh. And I used to maintain a pool. Ah well. Once my bladder does not have so much weight pressig on it, I hope to wave goodbye to incontinence.

Yesterday was my 2nd appointment, this time with Pam - the nutritionist (RD). I'd met her at the Welcome group - she reminds me of one of the Fedon sisters - tall, athletic and lanky. I'd been especially impressed with her colorful outfit - orange leggings and top under a multi colored short dress. She is just as colorful as her outfits!

I brought in my food blog for the 2 days since the intro, which was pretty bad in my mind, but I was honest on it about stress eating after the welcome group. I set myself up for that by not eating until 2 PM after getting up at 5. But Pam mostly commented on the good choices.

Due to my BMI, I need to lose 40 lbs in 3 months, so Pam gave me an eating plan very much like Medifast - shakes with 2 lean and green meals (lunch and dinner). I made 2 veggies last night to fill me up while the guys ate mashed taters.

I got big kudos for my exercise log - swimming 1K which was 100 yds over 1/2 mile in 50 minutes. Pam did a double take at the amount - LOL. It will be key to my success but I've always known that.

Time for a shake.

The Legacy welcome group starts at 7:15 am, so to get to Portland at that ungodly hour, I had to get up at 5. Left Keizer at 6 and it was getting light as I was getting into Portland. The drive up in the dark sucked as I-5 was super busy. Who knew about 6 am traffic jams. I got a little lost when I got off 405, but I pulled over and Google mapped. Arrived on time! I didn't take my diuretic as I didn't want to have to run and pee every 30 minutes. 

There were 6 of us, 5 women and 1 guy. The women are all over 40 but the guy is maybe 30 and from Saudi Arabia. He has wavy hair to die for. The class introduced us to the support team - psychologist, nutritionist and physical therapy.

Then we seperately got weighed and measured - height and waist. I'm now 5'7". Drat, that raises my BMI - LOL! Also got a body analysis (how much is fat vs muscle) and an EKG. Done by 12:30. 

One major takeaway was that I don't have to be perfect. Those who strive for an A burn out. Be a good, steady B student.

Another was that I think I will be eating like I was with LA weightloss - something every 3-4 hours. Smaller meals with snacks. I did well with that.

I should have eaten lunch at the hospital but I was anxious to get home. But once I hit Keizer, I stopped at McD's and got a haberana burger, fries (med, not lg) and a med mocha frappe (normally would be large.) 

I stress eat - once the stressor is over. I used to treat myself to a frappe after shrink appointments as a reward. High cal ice cream coffee, while lovely, is not in my future. Hmm, I liked adding coffee to Medifast choc shakes wizzed in the little blender with crushed ice.

Swam today, as I noticed that the food tracking book has a space for exercise. (always trying to be an A student.)

That's the report.

I got "the call" on Monday to schedule my series of appointments. I'm very excited, but DH has shown me yet again why I can't remain here.

Our 10 yr old car has been having issues. Not major, but important. For quite a while the turn signals have and intermittent stupid periods were they don't work. I've nagged DH to take care of this, but he doesn't see it as a problem - it works 80% of the time...  I've advocated for a 2nd car - a dependable one - and had no luck.

I'm scheduled for my welcome meeting tomorrow morning at 7:15 am. I refuse to drive to Portland worrying about problems driving in confusing traffic, changing lanes, etc. due to a maintenance issue he has seen as unimportant. 

I'm furious.

Right now I'm more depressed than usual because I haven't been swimming. The pool at my health club is closed in Oct for renovations. There are other branches of the club around town but when I tried the closest one, I hurt myself getting out of the pool as they had steep fiberglass steps instead of solid concrete ones. The next closest one has 2 pools, but the lap pool is VERY cold and the warmer exercise (water aerobics) pool doesn't work for laps. Some days I beat myself up - like if I'm going to be successful at WLS, I need to get my ass to these alien pools. But I haven't. It's way too far out of my comfort zone. Although once I'm swimming again, the comfort zone will expand. I'm waiting it out and hoping for an early Nov re-openng. Call me "weenie."