Rachelynka
-121 Lbs GONE!
Apr 21, 2010
I just can't believe it some days. I am having so much fun and my life is changing at such a fast pace its hard to keep up with. I am very excited for Summer being almost here, and vacation is 9 days away!!! I am headed to Surfside Beach, SC for some fun in the Sun, good family times, and Bike Week! I can't wait! There's just so much to look forward to!!!
Sometimes I wonder if I ever even really knew my body before? I thought I was so in touch with my body, health, and my emotions........ but as the weight has come off I am realizing how much in denial I actually was...... or maybe misguided and losing hope was more like it. Thankfully dwelling on the past is not really in my new repertoire!!!
Nowadays I work hard to properly nourish, hydrate and exercise my body. .... Up in the Gym just working on my Fitness!!! And each time I refocus on what's important I feel so good about myself and my life. I don't beat myself up anymore. I rest when I need to, push when I need to, be a little lazy if I need to.......... and finally I am starting to feel grounded and centered.
Im going to have to work on calming myself now!!! Im feeling like a kid in a candy store! Sugar Free of course! I have so much energy........ I am bounching off the walls rushing to whatever may come next ........... smiling like a crazy happy woman the entire time!!!
Everything is so vivid... and words can't even describe the feeling of being free of 121 lbs!!! FREEDOM!!!
Love and Hugs,
-105 lbs gone!
Feb 12, 2010
-74 lbs GONE!
Sep 30, 2009
Im writing a new movie script.. gone in 14 and 1/2 weeks! WOW... WOW....WOW!!! some days I have to pinch myself! I woke up Sunday morning and thought I had a tumor on my hip.. NOPE! that was just my hipbone!
Love & Hugs!
~Rachel
12 weeks out and 65 lbs. gone forever!
Sep 11, 2009
But I keep coming back to that one day in the surgeon's office several weeks pre-op and Dr. Sanchez was pleased with my continued, albeit slow, weight loss leading up to surgery. He must have seen the struggle in my eyes and face and the tears that threatened and he said, "Don't worry, Rachel. I will make this easier for you." No truer words were ever spoken. I thank God every moment of every day for the truth in that!
Well, enuf deep stuff for now... I am sure I will come back to it again before long... those of you who know me know im soooo emotional and emphathetic... happy... sad.. makes no diff.. bring on the tissue!
But, today I am sooooooooo HAPPY, EXCITED and AWED. We just came back from spending a long Labor Day weekend at Lake Tahoe and man was it absolutely beautiful and awe inspiring. Hiking and enjoying all that crisp mountain air and sunshine was really a recharge for my soul!!! Today is the end of my 3 day week, and we are off to our company picnic at DISNEYLAND!!! Since I haven't been there in modern times.... We decided to make another long weekend out of the trip.
Soooo.. I must close for now because I'm about to hook up with Mickey and the Gang!
Love, Sunshine and God Bless!!!
~Rachel
My Journey
Aug 28, 2009
almost 10 weeks post-op!
Aug 27, 2009
I still have some days where its hard to eat - but I am finding correlations to being tired, and not paying attention, eating too fast, what I am eating is too dry, and I've been sticking to what I know and slowing down, and that seems to be helping.
Some days the scale surprises the heck out of me and I get off it dancing around sooo happy, othertimes its holding out on me... but I try not to worry and just try to keep following my surgeon's and doctor's orders and rely on trusting that my body knows what to do. It helps.
It also helps to read and respond here on the boards and help others with questions, and to be involved. Ive never been one to sit on the sidelines and go with the crowd... and now even more so. Being involved and being a part of all of this is so beneficial to my progress and my piece of mind. Sometimes I sit here and cry for others who have had such a tough time of it, and sometimes I cry because the stories are so happy and inspirational... its hard to find the words sometimes to respond, but just doing so makes me feel better and more focused. I still have that nagging fear that Im gonna sound stupid but its an irrational fear, I know.
I started out this journey wearing a size 28/30 and yesterday was in a 18/20. WHAT AN AMAZING FEELING. Now the scale has to catch up, but I know it will.
My parents are also taking a more proactive approach to their health and losing weight, they say they are inspired by me. I don't care why they are doing it, and hardly can believe I'm an inspiration... but I sure am glad to see that they are. I also have a friend who walks with me during the lunch hour and while she hasn't had surgery we had a high-five moment today where she had to return a pair of capris that were way too big for her.
Its nice to see everyone around me taking better care of themselves, and that makes me sooo happy because I love my family and friends so much!
... so that's all for now.
Love & Hugs!!!
~Rachel
Happy Birthday to me!
Jul 30, 2009
So, I gave myself an early Birthday present... a chance at a new life... and WOW! This year I turn 42 and am so happy and have so much hope for the future!!! I will get to the nitty gritty in a moment, but just have to share how wonderful my other half is... I decided I am not going to miss any of my support group meetings, for nothing.. no how.. even a birthday... figuring its just an extension of the best gift I can give myself... So I asked him if he wanted to go with me, Saturday August 1st - my birthday. I love taking him since having him learn first hand what I am going through, understanding where I've been and what I have to look forward to has been incredibe in his unwavering support of this Journey of mine... or more appropriately, ours. He immediately said yes.. AND... since its your birthday, how about a romantic night on the coast and a fancy dinner out? I jumped at the chance and was online figuring out where we could go and what he could order so I could have a few bites, and I absolutely adore the Ocean and Beach... truth be told - no place else I would rather be. So just had to share... Can't wait!
So the last few weeks have been good and frustrating at times. The good times I am able to eat and everything stays down and I feel great and have so much energy that its unbelievable. On the bad days, two bites and its a race to the bathroom to throw it up. Frustrating because I could eat something fine yesterday, and look forward to eating it again today, but No Go Joe. And smells are the killers for me. Two bites and sometimes the smell of whatever I am eating does me in. So, I try to not be frustrated (hard sometimes) get the food out of my sight/smell, and wait awhile before going to Jello, or Unjury, or Sugar Free Popsicles, Yogurt or Banana... and all is well. The frustrating part is just not knowing what or when its going to happen. I don't feel bad, and am keeping up on my protein, getting enough calories and staying hydrated, and my energy for the most part is still going strong, but I write everything down and so far my doctor's say its normal.
In some ways, I am glad... not sure if "glad" is the right word, but the first couple of weeks out I could eat anything, and was wondering if they did anything while they were in there... frankly, it was scary to think that it was so easy. Well its not, and I am glad. Being sick is really keeping me in check with what I am eating, how its prepared, and having never been a picky eater before, now and for a good reason... I am okay with it. Never liked throwing up before, but now (not that I like it) its a relief and when something doesn't agree with me its the only thing that makes it better. At least I am glad to know that there is an abort button and I don't have to feel bad for a long time. But the goal is always to listen to my body and stomach and nose and not get to that point.
Lastly, on exercise... WOW WOW WOW... I am loving it. Ive been swimming, and walking, and doing exercise videos at home with my weights. I used to hurt so much afterwards, and the hurt is very minimal now... just the old feeling I remember.. the wonderful endorphins and energy that lasts for a long time, and the feeling of accomplishment. Funny story, Ive been spending lots of time at my parent's home - Dad's retired and they have a pool in their yard! They live at the top of a hill on a circle... my personal trainer, aka DAD, had me doing laps... down the hill then up the hill... down the hill then up the hill.. 4 times is a little more than a mile. Dad was always working and the quality time and exercise with him has been priceless... and spending time with Mom has been pretty wonderful too. But next week... its back to work!
Im excited to get back to my San Francisco, high powered, albeit stressful job.. and all the wonderful people I work with. For the most part everyone has been so supportive and it will be great to be back in the fold. Plus, had to chuck most of my work clothes because they were too big, and I bought a few very nice, very stylish pieces and some stylish shoes that I can't wait to wear and WOW everyone! Plus they make me feel so good... so accomplished. Dang!!! ... that Harper's Baazar for reigniting my love of high designer fashion... I better get my butt back to work.. because I have very expensive tastes!!! More musings on fashion later... Just feels so good to see things in magazines and translate it to my own personal style!
All I have to say in closing... this post at least... Is never stop dreaming and reaching for your goals... because there is no time like NOW!
With all my love,
Rachel
6th day out...
Jun 28, 2009
My surgery was Monday, June 22, 2009. I got home from the Hospital on Wednesday afternoon. I have been meaning to write, but could not get my emotions and words in the right order.. still not sure. So.. please accept this raincheck!!! Though I will say my surgeon reports that my RnY was "textbook perfect" and I am doing GREAT. I have not had any problems, a few minor irritating issues - but only because I didn't expect them, like coming home heavier than the day of surgery after I worked and fought so hard to lose weight - but, the experience so far has been a very positive one and virtually pain free - uncomfortable at times but no real pain to speak of! 
I had a goal to make it to the No. Cal. OH Support Luncheon yesterday at Chevy's in Pleasant Hill.. and am so proud of myself that I DID IT!!! It was not easy... it was the first time since I got home on Wednesday that I had gone out.. and it felt good to be around everyone, kinda bummed all I could eat was the soup I brought... but that won't be forever. 
I think the biggest immediate change has been that I cannot sit still for even a few minutes at a time, 
and I feel trapped and clausterphobic if I can't move around. I am so glad I made it there.. because everyone's kind words of encouragement buoyed me along... and boosted my strength.
More later... I promise! Must move around now... 
Finally... calm.
Jun 14, 2009
Then, my pre-op appointment was the second appointment of the day, and I had some silly notion that I would REALLY be freaked out after that appointment... but just the opposite happened. I left there feeling more calm and more ready than ever!!! My blood work was all normal. My EKG was normal . My classes went very Very VERY well! And, I met a lovely couple there who were so genuine and sweet.
I am two days into my pre-op diet, and if I thought it would be hard... for that too, I was mistaken. Im very focused now and am in the home stretch. I am just keeping my eye on the ball.. and doing everything by the book. My kitchen counter has all of a sudden started looking gourmet... blender, scale, chopper... everything I will need.
Ive been wearing my Fit Flops for two days, had to take them off cuz my butt and legs have had quite a workout and are literally sore!!! And I switched to sneekers for a for a nice long walk today at the Berkeley Marina...
And now I am just waiting for the hours to tick away... getting in some RnR... as dinner time approaches and my next liquid meal... another protein shake... BUT can I just say YUM. In some ways I feel like I am cheating because im having what tastes to me like a milkshake for breakfast and dinner!!! My body is goin YEAH! and my brain is goin WHAT? Lol.. and the scale is goin down... I couldn't be happier.
Oh and I also got the hugs I was looking for from my family.. seems once their stress was over and the chaos in their lives calmed down... and time and circumstance put Mom and Dad and I together for a couple of hours... I was able to bask in the love and how proud of me they are.. and that has made all the difference in the world in terms of feeling whole going into this...
That... and the support from my Michael... he took me out to dinner.. my last meal so to speak... and we had a lovely steak dinner.. didn't go crazy.. no soda, baked potato, salad with dressing on the side... but I did enjoy the steak... we walked to and from there... so there is some justification in that... and it was a Celebration too... not just of how far I have come... but also because our son (my step-son) became a full fledged English teacher.. and we just got word earlier that day... we are so proud of him!
A little more about Michael... He didn't even flinch when I asked him to come to Walmart on a Saturday afternoon to return the single size blender I bought that morning that some jerk took the blade out of the box of. He even ran upstairs while I was in the return line to grab another and they were all gone... then onto Walgreens for a card for the newest Teacher in Fortuna.. and what did I find there... the same single size blender 1/2 price!!! SCORE!
So... somehow I came out the otherside of a rough couple of weeks... learned more about myself and experienced more of the determination and support that this journey has blessed me with.. and even with a tip for you: Two scoops of instant decaf coffee in a protein drink is WAAAAY tooo much for a coffee flavored shake!!! Lol.. but I am not done experimenting :).....
Much Love,
Rachel
14 days and soooo excited!!!
Jun 08, 2009
This last week I decided I would go on a see ya later if ever tour of all my favorites... in moderation of course... no binging... and as of this morning's visit to the scale... I am still on track and losing weight slowly and steadily.
My pre-op appointment is this Friday and my 10-day-liquid/1lunchtime-light-meal-a-day countdown begins... I was really worried about it... but now... keeping focused and eating light anyway.. I feel like I will get through it okay.
Things are looking up and I am feeling more focused and positive... Still could use a hug from my mom, but she is too busy for me these days... so dug down and low and behold ... found that reservoir of strength I seem to forget about when I am feeling sorry for myself.. and surprise surprise it was still there! Yay!
Just reading everyones posts, blogs and profiles helps keep me focused and looking to the future.
