Sarah C.

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As time goes by and the more weight I continue to lose I am finding out that being "fat" may not be the worst possible thing that could happen to one.  I am now finding out that going from "fat" to "healthy" may be worse than staying "fat."  Last year at this time I remember being so miserable and wanting g/b so bad that it's all I ever thought about and I literally let it consume my life.  In every aspect of my life at this time last year everything revolved around me getting this surgery.  I would be on youtube watching everyone elses experiences, I would be here on obesity help getting as much info as possible, I would be talking to all my family about the surgery and be trying to reassure them that I am not going to die.  Now I feel like all of my effort to be able to get this surgery was a waste.  I am so miserable because all I ever seem to be doing lately is fighting with my mom and two sisters.  My mom constantly takes their side and all they do is throw up in my face that I had to have surgery to lose weight.  Every time I get into an argument with any of my sisters over anything it always turns into the fact that I "think I'm cool cause I lost some weight" even though we are fighting over not doing dishes or something else stupid.  I just cant stand it anymore.  My sisters are such bitches!  I am so tired of the rude things they say to me and I am sick and tired of my mother taking their side because I am not fatter than them.  She actually says to me that I should just leave them alone because I have to imagine how the feel because I used to be much bigger than both of them and now I am smaller than them.  I just think that is such bullshit.  I am still the same person that I was last year and the year before and the year before.  My sisters are just maniplutors. They see that my mom feels sorry for them and they totally use it the their advantage.  Like I said before, everytime I get into some argument with them it turns into me being cool cause I lost weight.  And they do this because it gets them out of trouble and gets me and my mom into a fight and then they just slip into their rooms to never be seen for the rest of the night.  I am really just so fed up with all that crap that comes with losing weight.  Everyone hates that I am no longer the funny fat girl. 

Sorry I have not posted in a while.  The only thing I can say is that life has been a little overwhelming these days!  But getting better at the same time!  So I have lost 70 pounds since my surgery which was April 17th!  I am sooooo happy about that, this would never have been possible without this surgery.  I think that being able to where normal sized clothes is the most craziest thing right now.  I love it so much, like many others I have those moments when I feel like a large is never going to fit me then I put it on and its like a miracle, it fits perfectly with room to spare!  Because of this surgery everything in my life has gotten better.  Me and my husband are doing great, me and my son have been doing alot more together and I really just feel different.  I honestly did not realize exactly how depressed I was before.  I feel so happy lately that I am just so thankful and very happy I made this decision.  I will post shortly pictures of me lately.

I don't know what to say, I can't seem to get any energy and now I have a stupid fever again. I don't think it is related to the surgery, I think I have just picked up some kind of bug. Everything I put in my mouth makes me sick. Sometimes I can't even stand to drink water because it makes me start burping immediately. I can't stand taking my prevacid, vicodin, B1, and B12. I know I have to take them so I do but it makes me gag immediately. I'm not quite to the point where I regret having the surgery, but I really do wish that I would have known that it would be this painful. However, I must warn anyone who reads this that I have an EXTREMELY LOW tolerance to pain. I can't even bare it when I get a paper cut. And my body does not do very well with surgery, it prefers to stay closed. Well I am done crying and whining right now. ~Sarah

So today is four days post op and I'm feeling some pain. Most of the pain is on my left side where mydrain was and the wound that has to be packed is. Today so far I have actually stayed up since taking my pain medication. I feel really good though besides the pain. I go to see Dr. Cahill Wednesday and I am gonna ask him about my belly button, it seems swollen. My mouth is dry alot, but it goes away after I drink some water. I cannot stand to drink anything at room temperature or hot, it has to be ice cold. But anyway that is all I will write for now, I need to go walk a little more. ~Sarah

So this morning I go to the hospital at 6a.m. and my surgery is at 8a.m.  I am very excited but there is still a little part of me that is also nervous.  Though I am very satisfied this morning with my choice in surgeon and team.  I just cannot wait until I can do things with my son and do not tire so easily.  I love him more than anything in this world and do not want to be his "fat mommy" anymore.  I want him to think of me as his mommy that CAN DO absolutely anything in the world for him.  I thank God so much for giving me this second chance at life.  I know that it is a miracle for this to be happening to me.  So wish me luck and keep me in your prayers.  Again, thanks to everyone on here who has supported me through this crazy ride!

LOVE, SARAH

Ok, so tomorrow I start my protein shake diet.  I think I will do well however I assume it is going to be a little difficult.  I don't know we will see.  I am not sad at all.  I am actually excited to start this liquid diet already.  I will post tomorrow and let everyone know if I am doing ok with it.  Wish me luck!

~Sarah

Wow!  So this week has been really nice.  Tuesday I went to the support group where I finally was able to announce that I actually have a surgery date!  So that was sweet.  Then yesterday I had all my tests done that Dr. Cahill wanted me to do before surgery.  That was not so bad.

I arrived at the hospital at 6 a.m. First I had a chest X-Ray, an ultrasound of my gallbladder, a venous dopler, a pulmonary function test, gave a urine sample and 80 thousand vials of blood and went over my medical history with the nurse.  Believe it or not I was out of there in just 4 hours.

Today, I had my pre-op class it was very very informative!  Actually, it made me even more confident that I am making the right choice.  That's what I love, I am sooooo happy that I found Dr. Cahill's office.  I would hate it if I would have gone with those other crap heads!  So this is totally a sweet deal.  I am soooo excited I can't wait til April 17th is here and this is going to be so awesome.  I am sooo ready to get started on living my life again.  And I can't wait to buy my first pair of roller blades since I was 16!

Ah, well I am in such a great mood.  I could sit here and go on and on about how excited I am!  I am sooooo grateful for Tony.  He is great!  I am sooo excited I am going to get the chance to do so much with my son.  I love him more than anything!!!!

Well, I am gonna go to bed.  Thank you so much to everyone who reads my blogs and leaves me comments.  I really love reading them!

~Sarah

Since last week my stomach has been giving me some really bad cramps at night and I have been having to wear a heating pad at night constantly.  Well I went to the doctor they took some blood, which totally does not bother me at all, and they called me today to let me know that I still have that freaking H-Pylori still!!!  So I am taking that prev-pac again for two weeks.  Then I am going back to the doctor so they can take more blood and see if goes away this time.  This kind of bums me out because I know that this has to be gone before surgery but man how the hell am I gonna get rid of this!!!  I'm totally bummed

~Sarah

So I called Dr. Cahill's office this morning and Donna set the date for my surgery.  I love her, she is such a sweetheart.  My surgery is on April 17th and my pre-surgery meeting with the nutritionist is on the 4th.  I am really very excited about all of this.  I cannot wait to get my surgery.  However, I am happy that it is a month away because I have a long list of things I want to finish before that date comes.  So I really hope that I can get all of them done before then.  Well I am gonna go for right now. 

~Sarah

 Yes, yes! The rumors are true....I have been approved for surgery!!!!!! I can't believe it guys!  For !FIVE YEARS! I have been wanting so badly to take back control of my life!  And now I will!  I can't believe it.  Seriously, I just cannot believe it.  I really am so in love with Tony right now!  Without him this probably would not have happened.  I am just sooooo ecstatic!  Thank the lord for Dr. Cahill and Tony and everyone who made this possible!  I swear I just want to sing from the rooftops right now!  I am sooo grateful I really truly am!  So now all I have to do is call Donna and set up a date for my surgery.  Well I just want to say thank you so much to Sue, I honestly think that if I did not have all of her support I may have lost my mind!  So thank you so much Sue for being there for me!  I will repost as soon as I have a date.  And thank you to everyone on here who has been there for me.  I love you all!

~Sarah