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Oh my gosh. Now time really seems to be flying by. Only two more days until surgery. I can't believe it. Years I've waited for this moment and it's only two days away. :') I'm so grateful to God for helping me along this journey. 
I'm about to do my "bowel prep" YUCK. I've got to drink 10 oz of magnisum citrate. My paper says lemon lime flavor, but I couldn't find that one and just got grape. I hope there's not a specific reason they said lemon lime...
Not too excited about that, but whatever! I've done fairly well on my liquid diet. No BIG cheats. I've had little nibbles here and there pretty much everyday though. :/ But I've lost 13 lbs so far! Hopefully this bowel prep gets me into the 240s. My goal for surgery day is to be around 247ish when they weigh me in on that day. :) 

Praying that everyday goes good! 

Time is going SO slow. Only 12 more full days until my surgery. March 7th! I'm on the liquid diet and it's kinda rough :( I know I can do it though. I just need to get my head in the game and look toward the bigger goal...not just what I want in the moment. 12 MORE DAYS!!! I'm just praying that time goes faster than it's been going lately cause it's been dragging ON AND ON. 

I'VE BEEN APPROVED! Seriously started crying when I got the call. I was at the computer lab on campus and Casey called and said I was approved!!!!!! I started crying right there. lol People probably thought I was crazy but I don't even care. I'm kinda just in shock.I've been waiting so long to get here. Actually since I was 16 years old and it's finally gonna happen. I'm not scared, I'm just kind of stunned. THANK YOU JESUS. I go in for my team meeting on Monday (18th). I'm a little worried about that because I need to lose weight before then. I'm 266 and I need to be at least in the 250s. :/ I'm trying to limit my intake this week and I'm gonna do a bowel cleanse this weekend. Last time I did it I lost 7-8 lbs! AHHH I'm just kind of freaking out. Now I feel like everything is going so fast. 

Well I finally got in touch with someone from the county (after WEEKS of calling). My worker still isnt in, but they're having someone else fill in for her. The lady I spoke to said that she would try and get my forms taken care of either today or tomorrow, so at least that's out of the way. Bad news is that I still won't have my Blue Plus insurance re-enrolled until FEBRUARY. UGH. Meaning, no submitting to insurance until then. Whatever though. I guess it's not that far away. only three and a half weeks until February 1st. You best believe I'm gonna make sure the the surgery department submits early morning of the 1st! It's gonna be a Friday, so I know I'll have the whole weekend to sit and wait before even considering that they received it. Oddly enough though, when I called Kimberly yesterday and told her the whole insurance un enrollment situation she let me know that she'd already realized that. Apparently, BCBS had sent the form back the same day, letting her know I wasn't covered right then. Hmm. I don't know if that's a good thing, maybe meaning that turnover time for approval will be equally quick too? I'm surprised they even looked at the paperwork the same day. I dk. I'm gonna try and not stress about it too much. I know I'll be alright because I've done everything that they require and I meet all the weight/bmi requirements also. So now it's just a matter of submitting, getting approved, and getting my date confirmed. Hopefully they stick with March 7th because that will be perfect! That's the Thursday before my spring break, so it works out. :) I'm a little nervous about what to do for the day before (Wednesday) since I know I'll probably have to do the bowel cleanse , which means I definitely can't be going to class. O_O  Ahh.. I dk. I guess I'll be able to figure all of that out once i get my approval and know for sure what the time line looks like. I hope it's sooner rather than later though, because I'll need to let my job and teachers know what's going on. 

I literally feel like ripping my hair out and SCREAMING. My county worker is seriously fucking me over. Had ALL my stuff turned in for my medical renewal and they're giving me the damn run around. NEVER return my calls. Then fucking says she'll be back in the office a certain day and every time I call she's never there, find out she's STILL on vacation. WHY NOW!? Why is all this happening to me now!? I've never had issues with my medical recertification, but now when I really need it and when they finally submit to insurance NOW I have all these issues?! I just don't understand. Jesus please help me, I seriously feel like I'm having a break down. It's too much at once. First stuff with my HRA inspection (which was my fault), then a bunch of BS with my school and financial aid and possibly not being able to go to school this semester and now this! It's too much! I just don't understand why it has to be one thing after another! I could definitely use a lot of prayers. 

So I got a call from CC Bariatric department today and Kimberly (the new insurance coordinator) said that they submitted today! It was really a surprise because when I had talked to her on Monday she said that I'd need to probably see Dr. Bakke again and get a few other things taken care of, but I guess I'm good to go. Now the only cluster fuck is that  my insurance is cut off for now because the county is being slow as HELL with the recertification process. :/ I've been blowing my worker's phone up though trying to make sure that she pushes it through,  and I left her a number of messages so hopefully by the end of this week she'll get it dealt with. I also called Blue Plus and asked if they had even looked at it yet, and she said they haven't gotten it yet. It's kinda good and bad since I wouldn't want it being denied since my insurance isn't active right now, but it's also bad cause I don't want it to take a long ass time for my approval to come through . I dk. I'm just not gonna worry about it and leave it all in God's hands! I'm a little nervous, but I know everything will work out. :) 

Blaahh. Well a lot has happened since my last update. My appt with the surgeon didn't go AT ALL how I thought it would. Before I saw him, I met with Kristen and we were basically talking about scheduling for October and setting up a date that same day. I was so excited. Then after seeing her, I met with him and he basically steamrolled my entire excitement by saying he was worried about my psych report since I had been reporting drinking a lot the beginning of the year. (Which I haven't even been hardly drinking at ALL anymore lately. ugh). He said he wanted me to be alcohol free for ONE YEAR before going through with surgery. I bawled so hard. You have no idea. I think I surprised him a little because he kinda relented and said, "Ok. Let's do this. Let me see you go alcohol free for six months. We'll meet again in three months, around December, and see how you're doing." He also wanted me to lose 15 lbs and quit smoking. OK. LIttle better. I was still SO heart broken. That just threw me for a loop. I hadn't been expecting that at all, and I don't think Kristen was either, because she called me later that day (I was STILL crying BTW -_-) and she talked to me about the DRs decision. :/ 

Fast forward to last week, and I've done pretty much everything the surgeon has asked for. Weighed in at 255 (-10 lbs!), had stopped smoking in November, and although I messed up with the drinking end of September, I'm definitely in control of it! I was so nervous going in to see Dr. Ikramuddin again. He didn't even stay that long, just popped in quick, asked me how the quitting smoking and drinking was going and then said, "Good good! I think we can set up a date 3 months from now then!" :O I was so surprised how quick it went. SO SURPRISED. I'm so nervous to get excited again though. :( I'm terrified something up is gonna come up. I'm scared about insurance approval too. That's the next hurdle I'm gonna be praying about. After seeing the surgeon . Kristen came in and asked me if March 3rd would work. HECK YES IT WILL! :D She still has to confirm it and make sure that the date is for sure available, but so far that's my tentative date. It feels so good to have at least a date to look forward too. I asked her about when they would be submitting to insurance, and she said they should be able to pretty soon, so I'm just waiting to hear about what else they'd need! I'm just PRAYING to Jesus that everything goes smoothly and works out. In Jesus name. :( 
I'll feel like I can relax once I get my insurance approval and my date is CONFIRMED. Actually, I wont relax until I'm post-op. -_- 


Anyone have Blue Plus/BCBS MN? Do you know how they are with insurance approval time? Any issues or were you approved with the first request?

So Casey from Centracare called me this afternoon and said that Dr. Ikramuddin has an earlier opening. SO instead of seeing him October 5th, I'll see him....*drumroll*...THIS THURSDAY! 
I pretty much freaked out! 
She also moved my appt with Kristen to the same day. Last time I seen Kristen she said that they'll hopefully be figuring out a tentative surgery date next time we meet. They'll also try and submit to insurance the same day I see the surgeon as well! So HOPEFULLY sometime next week I'll be recieving my approval phone call! (If insurance is as speedy as Kristen said they've been.) PRAISING GOD SO HARD RIGHT NOW!  I am tweeking out, ya'll. :D

I'm a little nervous that I have gained a little bit since I saw the nutritionist in August. My home scale says 270, but I know that's nowhere near accurate. I do think I've gained maybe 2-3 lbs. Hopefully it's not too much though, since technically I'm not supposed to gain anything... :/ But I'm gonna do my very best to lose that excess and get back to my baseline of 265  by Thursday. 

THANK YOU JESUS!!!!!

 Welp, since last time I updated I've changed a few things. I decided to switch over from St. Paul Surgeons to CentraCare Clinics, which is located in my town and  is much easier than going all the way to St Paul all the time! I wish I had known there was still a bariatric program in St. Cloud in the beginning, then I wouldn't even have wasted 6+ months with the St. Paul program. *sigh* Oh well, at least I got my dietary stuff out of the way. 

Beginning of this month I went to CC information meeting, and got everything all set up to transfer. Then I got an appointment with the nutritionist, Kristin, for later this month. On Wednesday I went to see her and we talked about what all else I need to get done to proceed. NOT only do I already have an appointment set up to see the surgeon, but she gave me a pretty good outline of when I should hopefully be having surgery! I just cannot BELIEVE the difference between these guys and SPS. SPS kept giving me the run around, and then I was waiting almost a month just to even see if I COULD get an appointment with the surgeon. I remember calling them and the lady I talked to was just rude and was basically almost making it sound like I probably won't even qualify from the way she was making it sound. I KNEW that was the moment i had to switch over. I'm SO happy I did. I talked to Kristin about all the stuff that SPS had had issues with, and she said that my records looked awesome and that I had done really good with my nutrition stuff so far. I even brought up the whole previously being bulimic thing (which SPS had made a huge fuss about EVEN THOUGH Dr. Bakke had cleared me) and I talked about the fact that I had smoked weed earlier this year( which SPS had said OH NO. ABSOLUTELY AN ISSUE. YOU HAVE TO BE DRUG FREE FOR A YEAR). Umm first of all, it was almost 6  months ago. Second of all Kristin had NO issue with it, The only thing she wanted to make sure of was that it wasn't a reoccurring thing, and was just a one time thing. She also said that the whole ED thing was OK, as long as Dr. Bakke had cleared me and was sure that I was definitely in recovery mode. I'm SO happy I switched over! I cannot thank God enough that I decided to look further into changing programs. Seriously one of the best decisions I've made so far! Plus, they've been so much nicer. They seem to be on my side. I asked her about the insurance wait time too, since SPS had said it would be like 3-4 weeks to hear if I'm approved or not. She told me that THEIR  wait time has been a few days!!!!!  I couldn't believe it. SO hopefully once they submit, I'll get my approval really soon after! :D Praying that everything continues to go as smoothly as it has been.  

So I have labs next Thursday (Sept. 6) and then another appointment with Kristin on Tuesday Sept. 25th. She said hopefully during that visit we'll go over the food records she gave me, and try and set up a tentative surgery date. 
I have an appointment to see the surgeon on Friday, Oct. 5, and Kristin said they're supposedly gonna try and submit that same day. Basically all they need is the clearance note from the surgeon. She said I should likely be getting surgery in November!!! 

EEEP! Oh my God. It's just so insane how quickly everything is moving now! I'm not nervous really, just excited. For awhile there I was getting really depressed and thinking, Oh lord...what am I gonna do if they don't accept me. 
But now I'm confident and hopeful again! I'm so excited and thanking God everyday for blessing me on this journey! 

 Well everything is all complete for the insurance requirements! 
I'm so happy to be DONE! Now the next hurdle will be getting an appointment with my surgeon. I'm a little frustrated with St. Paul Surgeons right now. :( Dr. Bakke (my psychologist) said that she faxed over her approval report TWICE, and every time I called the insurance coordinator she said they didn't have anything. Finally after I called again on Friday and gave her the specific times that Dr. Bakke said she'd faxed the report over, she "suddenly" found it? Uhhhh....?
And then, on top of then, when she called me back she was a bit snippy with me, saying, "What is this? This is nothing? It's a point system letter and a few notes?" Ummm excuse me? How am I supposed to know?! It's not my fault! I'm sure Dr. Bakke knows what she's doing! Finally Nicky (the insurance coordinator) told me that she would email the other coordinator to see if Dr. B's form/report would work or if they would need more and then they'd get back to me on Monday. 
Blahhh. It's just so frustrating. I pray to God getting this whole paperwork/appointment process won't continually be this irritating and constantly have the back and forth. :/ One thing I can't stand is playing phone tag with someone. 
When I did initially talk to her, she said that I should hopefully be hearing back from them by the end of this upcoming week with an appointment to see the surgeon. I just hope all this paperwork stuff doesn't slow everything down. Please God let things go smoothly. 

In other news, I've been quite a bit depressed lately. i mean, not really depressed...I guess just kind of mowing along. I feel like I have no friends lately. I hate feeling lonely and alone. I mean I do have my best friend, but she's all the way near the cities. I wish she lived closer. :( Plus I'm feeling like there's drama between me and another one of my "friends". If you can even call her that. I'm just sick of people treating me like crap. I really am. I've noticed one thing that's different about me from past years though. I'm most definitely starting to stand up for myself more and do what I need to do to be happy. This week, for example, has been just me being on my own little island. I'm keeping in touch with the people that truly care about me, and distancing myself away from those who are harmful for my emotional well being. I'm hoping this means I am starting to be more independent, since that is something I struggle with. I found this amazing app on Google Chrome that allows me to block myself from certain sites, and only allots me a certain amount of time on them. So I've been limiting myself to one min/day on Facebook. I can sincerely say that's helped my mood a lot too. There's so much pointless drama on there. Plus it keeps me from "creeping" on certain people and then getting sad or angry. I dk. I'm glad I blocked myself. Plus, I figure it'll be a good habit to get into once school starts. No more time wasters! 

I'm definitely focused mostly on ME though. Getting myself healthy and ready for surgery. I'm trying to center solely on that and let that keep me optimistic. Hope everyone is doing well! :)