Another sleepless night

Feb 07, 2011

Ugh, here I sit at 10 pm knowing I will be leaving for surgery at 4 am and I know there's no way I am sleeping tonight.  I keep thinking about all the what ifs.  What if I die?  What if I have horrible complications?  What if I am miserible not being able to eat the things I have turned to for comfort for years?  What if I fail?  My mind will not shut up.  I know I am not the first and won't be the last person to go through this, but it's very nerve-racking. 
Today my youngest son (12 years old) came home and told me "Mom, my teacher said that your surgery is a major surgery and it's dangerous."  What the heck is that woman thinking telling my child this?  I mean he knows about the surgery and what to expect, but I didn't want him to have those details.  That makes me so mad! 
I have been praying a lot about this, but it doesn't stop my worrying and I didn't want my kids worrying more than they need to.  I think I eased him mind some after we talked about it some more.  I sure hope so!

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